Ahem

Well, it’s been a while.

I AM alive. So there’s that.

School is kicking my ass in a way I’ve never experienced before and I want to crawl into a hole and hide and hope some magical faeries will do my work for me.

It’s a problem.

Mostly I’m in such a state of panic that I don’t do anything because everything needed to be done last week. So prioritizing doesn’t happen because, again, everything needed to already be done.

Catch-22

Mostly I need to kick my own butt into gear and just get through this semester. If I can do that, next semester should be a little easier.

Also, Mr. A will be out of town all next semester for another amazing internship. LUCKILY, he won’t be as far away as he was last summer. He will be in my hometown and will be staying at my dad’s house. It will be a free place to stay, my dad is doing some really awesome stuff for Mr. A’s stay (such as turn one of the spare bedrooms into another living room so Mr. A will have a place to hang out).

BUT, because he will be gone, I will be back to blogging. I will finally have free time to do so and will need some more company.

I know people hate when people blog about not blogging, but I have met so many of you in person and have talked with so many of you on a regular basis that I thought I would check in. When I come back, I might start over, or just revamp this old thing. We shall see.

But no matter what, I’ll fill you all in. Also, you all rock, I hope your lives are super fantastic and amazing and I can’t wait to finally have time to catch up on it all!!

Now, what’s a thesis?

Oops

I have no idea how some of you very busy people blog everyday. I know I am less busy than most of you and, as you can see, I haven’t blogged in over a week. And that makes me sad because I love this blogging community and I don’t want to abandon it, especially when all of YOU were there for me during all the crap times.

So here’s my commitment to do better. Probably won’t be everyday, but it will surely be more than once every other week. That’s just pathetic.

And I can find the time. I just need to sit down and do it.

I will say though, that being in school again has greatly increased my typing abilities. Not saying I won’t ever have a stupid typo, but I am much faster at typing and making fewer mistakes.

See, you really can learn all sorts of things in schools.

So, me.

Well, not much has changed or happened since last week.

It’s the Thursday of the 3rd week and, so far, things are going pretty smoothly.

I may have hit the jackpot with my students since they are pretty much awesome and haven’t been causing me too many problems. They don’t talk a lot, but that could be because I am probably their first class of the day.

My own classes are going well also. My ghost stories class is fun. We will see if I still think that when I start my first grad school paper next week. I may be cursing everyone and everything seeing as I haven’t written a ten page paper in probably 2.5 years. YIKES. Who wants to proofread?! ;o)

My other class is a mandatory class for all new GAs. It’s….eh. Boring. Just not my thing, but our big project is cooperative and my good friend M and I are partnered, so at least I can drink wine with someone while we do our research paper.

Currently, I feel like my head might explode. My allergies are absolutely terrible. Most people have seasonal allergies. I am part of the lucky group that has awful allergies all year round. I am allergic to almost all grasses and trees. No idea how I have not had to live in a bubble my entire life, but it has been fairly well managed. Until recently. When I was a kid, I had to have allergy shots every Saturday. I did this for three years, and while it was inconvenient, I had very few symptoms. Obviously, as I got older a busier, it was impossible to keep that up, so we quit and I just took a daily allergy medicine. Just an over the counter one and it was fine. Sure, I would have flare ups, but recently it seems like I’m just taking a sugar pill or something. Silly school health services won’t do the shots until I see an allergist in town, and I just don’t know how much that will cost me. So we shall see.

Last weekend, Mr. A and I went home for his birthday. We ended up with free tickets to the baseball game for Friday night and it turns out, we were 4 rows behind the opposing team’s dugout. I could hear them talking and just wanted to run up to our catcher when he was on third to get a close up look at those neck tattoos that he won’t tell anyone what they mean. I am going to miss baseball season when it’s over. April is entirely too far away.

We had a good time. It was nice to get out for a while and have a weekend without worrying about school stuff. Also, admittedly, every since I’ve met all the new fun people, I haven’t been around much. I’m what you might call a social butterfly at times, and I like to be out and doing stuff, so now that I have fun new friends, I’m always off doing something. I think Mr. A was lonely. He hasn’t been used to me being gone. So the weekend was a time to catch up and spend some quality time together.

I have all these posts started that I just need to sit down and finish. I will write. I will read more. I will comment. Probably even catch up today since I’m planning on going home and laying on the couch until my nose quits running.

Enjoy your Thursdays. It’s almost Friday. I will be on a law school wine tour on Saturday. I will try not to roll down a hill this time. Especially since I’m pretty sure Mr. A would disown me if I made a fool of myself AGAIN and in front of the entire law school. So I will behave. And drink less sangria. (Or just find a flat surface for my chair ;o) ))

Giveaway Winner!

Happy Wednesday!

I feel Wednesdays are good days to get good news because it helps your week go by faster.

Thank you to everyone who entered. I loved reading all of your stories, and as soon as I am done with my mountain of homework, I will try to respond to everyone. You guys are great and I love it!

But, the random number generator was in charge this time, so….drum roll please…

The winner of these fun goodies:

Is Ashley from The Accidental Olympian Alaskan!! Congratulations!! E-mail me your address and I will get that into the mail this week!

 

And I DO want to blog about everything going on, but it has been crazy busy, or by the time I have free time, my brain is fried and all I would do is ramble, and no one wants that. So maybe later tonight after I finish grading sample essays, but definitely by the end of the week. There are some hilarious stories.

 

Congratulations to Ashley, again, and I hope to have another giveaway in the near future!!

Making “New” Friends

While I’m writing this before my trip, by the time you read this, I will be in Other State and trying to find my way around one of the 5 largest metro areas. (Let’s see how many times I get lost or drive the wrong way on a one way street.)

Not only will I finally be seeing my husband after 3 and a half long weeks apart and getting to experience new restaurants and a new city and a new state and enjoy a little vacation away, but I will also be meeting some blog and twitter friends. 3 internet friends, to be precise.

EEEEEKKKK.

I am so very excited to meet these lovely ladies. I have been reading their blogs since I started this blog of my own. It feels like I have known them for a long time, but at the same time, I don’t know them.

Like me, they keep some things off the blogs and off of twitter. We all do. We all like to keep some things private. And even if I attempted to tell you all everything, it would be impossible.

So here I am, willingly going to meet 3 different women who I have never met before.

Sounds like the start of a horror film, doesn’t it?

Luckily, I have e-mailed and talked to them and I have decided that they are not serial killers or crazy people.

At least I don’t think so…

(Hi ladies. You know who you are. So excited!)

On Monday, I will be meeting up with one and her husband and some of their friends at a baseball game. Hubs and I both love baseball, so I figure it will be some common ground and will be fun. I think I’m less nervous than Mr. A. Poor guy is afraid he will embarrass me or something since these are people I have a connection to, and not him. He will be just fine. He’s good at talking to people. I’m not worried about him.

The other two ladies, we don’t have official plans, but one gets back from out of town on Monday and the other will be busy for the first few days, so once they get back and done with work stuff, we will figure it out.

I feel like I’m in grade school and trying to make new friends on the first day of class. What to wear. What to do. What to say. How to not look like an idiot. That might be the hard one.

Have any of you met up with internet friends? Any tips? Was it as awkward as I’m afraid it’s going to be?

(Girls, I swear I’m normal, I just get nervous meeting new people. Sorry!)

Playing Catch Up

Yeah, I’ve sucked at blogging. Lots going on. A crazy work schedule. Spending time with Mr. A when he needed a study break. Add in my current migraine problems, and well, blogging got put on the back burner.

But I shall catch you all up and then try to be better at this.

– This summer? Still going to be one heck of a whirlwind. Mr. A’s last final is Friday. I get off work at 1:45pm and then will be making sure he doesn’t drown in bourbon while celebrating the end of 1L year. I am off all weekend and he heads to Mville for his summer associate position. I’m excited for him, and actually kind of looking forward to a couple days on my own. But I know about 2 days in and I will miss him terribly and want him back home with me.

– Speaking of end of 1L year, should I get him some sort of gift or what the heck do I do to celebrate that?? HELP. Our one year wedding anniversary is May 30th, and I have a small gift for him for that, but now that our finances are a little more stable, I want to do something for him, but no idea what. Help and help now please!

– My head is throbbing. I am on day 3 with a migraine. And in the past 2 months I’ve had about 10. Which, in case you don’t get migraines, that’s a whole lot of migraine. I have two theories. I think I have built up an immunity to my preventative and I think it probably needs to be upped. Also, because I keep getting headaches, I keep taking my medicine for when I get one. Which means I’m probably creating rebound headaches for myself. Which is truly a vicious cycle since taking pain meds creates them, but once you get them, you take more pain meds. (and no, I’m not on oxycontin or something like that and I don’t want to be taking them) I can’t NOT take something when I’m at work because the pain will intensify to the point where I get sick and then can’t do anything but sleep the rest of the pain off. And like today, I have an 8hour shift that I can’t really call in sick on.

– Again, I think my head might explode today.

– Went home last weekend. It was nice. Nothing too special. Might be Mr. A’s last chance to go until August, so we took the time. We spent time with my brother and his girlfriend and it was a lot of fun, as usual. And his girlfriend’s dog? HUGE. And I love him. His name is Bernie and a big baby. He’s a boxer and mastiff mix. His head is giant. And while I did turn and walk the other way when I walked up to the door, expecting my brother’s cat and Bernie’s giant self showed up, but he’s super sweet. And I want a big dog, but a nice big dog.

– I am really excited because this summer I think i will get to meet at least two blogger friends, maybe 3, and I am pumped. And if I get to meet you too, just know that I can be shy and awkward, so let’s pretend it’s a blind date, give me about 20 minutes to calm down, and we’ll be peachy. haha (I’m now sure these ladies are trying to find a way to be out of town….)

– Work is driving me insane. I have 40 hours next week, which is completely unheard of for an on-call associate. And while I will enjoy the paycheck, I will have to work very very hard not to stab someone.

– I want to write blog posts about real stuff, but I think of them when I’m going to bed. I write them all out in my head. I even rearrange paragraphs and ideas and all that. But then when I wake up, I forget all about it. I might remember the main idea, but I forget everything else. It’s a problem. I swear I’m not vapid and dumb and only know how to write brain dumps. Just a lot going on, but as soon as Mr. A leaves Sunday, I’ll have all sorts of free time that will need to be filled with blogging since it’s free.

– I’m in search for the perfect bag/backpack for the fall. I keep thinking that i don’t want a backpack because I’m afraid I’ll look like an undergrad, but not sure. I think I want a briefcase-ish bag that has a long strap that i can wear across my body. I had one similar in the past, but my books were so heavy that it was uncomfortable. But since I won’t be taking as many classes and I figure they won’t be on the same day, it might not be as bad? Ideas on where to look would be helpful.

-Again, seriously need ideas on gifts for Mr. A or what to do this weekend. HELP ME not fail at wifely duties. 🙂

– Also, any questions you guys have for me that you want me to blog about? If I can’t remember my own ideas, might as well get some ideas from you smart people.

Quickie

So, busy week around here, huh?

Mr. A gets a dream internship. I get into grad school AND get an assitantship that pays for school AND I get a pay check.

But, life continues beyond these things, so I figure a quick little update on things would be great.

* So, not only will he be in another state as of July 5th (probably a couple days earlier, but the 5th is the start date), he will be working for a law firm for the first part of the summer. This is kind of a big deal on its own because the law firm is basically in house council for a big company, so he’s kind of on cloud nine right now. Hopefully that will help him keep his sanity as finals approach.

* Too bad other job is in his hometown. In case you didn’t catch that, it means we will be living apart from mid May through mid August. Yeah. 3 months apart. Not so much a fan. We did the long distance thing for a year and a half in college, but we saw each other every other weekend usually. And if not, then two weeks was the most time we ever spent apart. I assume he will come home on weekend while he’s in Mville, but still, the day to day won’t be fun. And when he’s in the Other state, no idea how long until I’ll be able to come down. MIL is apparently buying my plane ticket to go visit as an early birthday present to Mr. A. Which is pretty amazing of her, but still.

Also, we move into our new apartment June 28th. He will probably be going to Other state at least a couple days before he starts, so I will be in a new apartment with him for maybe 2 nights before I’m there alone. Guess who gets creeped out easily? THIS GIRL. New noises and shadows and creaks and neighbors. Yeah. I might start sleeping pills so I won’t think Jason or Michael are coming to get me.

* Work is basically unbearable at this point. Knowing I get to quit makes me dread it even more now. This is a problem seeing as I pretty much hated it before. I haven’t told them yet since I’m waiting on my paperwork and finding out when my training for the GA position is. I’m pretty much expecting a shit storm when I do and probably going to quit a little early so I can go visit Mr. A and just have some off time before my very crazy and busy semester starts.

* This blog will not be all about grad school. Promise.

* I also will not talk about how much I miss Mr. A all summer. Every so often, but not constantly because no one wants to read that all the time. Promise.

* I need a new blog/twitter name. I had a fun blog name idea, but it doesn’t translate to a twitter name, or I don’t think so at least, so I need some help. As of May 30th, we will have been married for a year, so I don’t want to still be saying I’m a new wife. And while I will finally be teaching again in August, I’m not going to be a teacher, or at least not in the respect many people think, and as I’m getting a Master’s and want to be a college professor, I think I need to ditch the teacher part. If interested in what my idea was, e-mail or DM me. I would like some input because I am terrible at coming up with fun and catchy names.

* Diet has crashed and burned. Going to work on getting back on track this week. Same goes for running. Apparently depression makes you only want to eat fried foods and lay on the couch all day.

* And before anyone calls me naive, I do not think all my problems have magically vanished with this week of amazing news. Just this week I was so conflicted because all of this stiff has finally fallen into place and this next year should be amazing for us. Yet, I still felt sad and not nearly as happy as I thought I should, or would. I am still working on that and will probably seeking professional help, whether just talking to someone or taking something. To be honest, just talking to someone on any sort of regular basis will probably help me. I talked to a therapist for a few months when i was living at home in undergrad and it helped immensely. So no. Not everything is just perfect, but I think the stress of not worrying about jobs will help me move past all that has been bothering me.

* So, watching the documentary The Cove on Netflix. Heartbreaking and very interesting. Go watch it.

* Going home this weekend for a baseball game and just hoping the weather is beautiful so I can enjoy my hot dog and nachos and my over priced beer in the sun and watch some fun baseball. And hopefully a win. Hopefully.

Enjoy your weeks and send me your new blog name ideas. I need your help!

Confessions 2

I wasn’t happy with my last confessions post. It felt half-assed and lame. The problem is that I think of things to write about when I’m not at a computer and then later forget them. I write entire blog posts in my mind and then can’t remember what I had to say. So this is attempt 2.

— My favorite movie is Fight Club. Love it. The book was good too, but it is by far my favorite Brad Pitt film. Actually, other than Seven and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and Babel, not really a huge BP fan. But Fight Club. Yummm. And the storyline is just awesome. And Helena Bonham Carter makes for an amazing crazy woman.

— I actually like playing Call of Duty. I’m not all that good, but I like to play. I actually like video games, and I really like another one but I refuse to completely out my nerd-dom. I don’t like all games and I don’t play all the time and I’m really not all that good at any of them, other than Mario Kart, but I like them.

— I have baby fever. Blergh. I guess it’s not too bad because I do have my head on straight and sense we can’t afford our rent without student loans, we sure as hell aren’t intentionally adding a baby to the mix. But I made a comment tonight at dinner with a good friend that our house will be the one with the dogs and the toddler running around. Friend made a joke and Mr. A said, “Yeah, but I’m so ready for that.” How freaking adorable is my husband? He will be a great dad. After law school. But I do wish law school was over already. (Remind me of this in a couple years when I’m 9 months pregnant and saying, “You know, I was just kidding. Can I undo this? Or can I magically snap my fingers and it appears in my arms without all that pain and screaming?)

— As much as I love my husband and all his adorable dorkiness, I DO wish I had my own apartment sometimes. Not to spend the night or try to do things without him knowing, but just four walls that are all mine. A place I can go when I’m stressed and upset and just need alone time. When I get overwhelmed I kind of shut down. No amount of joking is going to make me smile or cheer up. I completely need alone time. Mr. A and I have talked that when we build our dream house, we will each have a room that is just ours. I won’t go to his and he won’t come to mine. Some may think this is dumb or judge, but we both are fairly independent when it comes to stress management and we would only need to escape for a couple hours. Also, a quiet place when either of us have to work to do. Mine will have lots of pillows and soft and fluffy surfaces.

— I’m kind of a slob. Not in a trash and old food kind of way. But in a clothes and shoes left all over the place way. I moved between my mom and dad’s houses every week, so I lived out of a duffel bag between the ages of 7 and 18. And since I thought it was stupid to unpack and put clothes in a closet for 6 days before undoing it all, I never used closets or dressers. Just my GIANT bag. Which of course resulted in a pile of clothes in the corner of my room. Well this habit has remained a major problem. I get better, then I do laundry, and if I don’t force myself to put the clothes away the second I walk back in the house with my laundry, it isn’t going to get put away. At least not until the next time I do laundry and the process repeats itself. Also, have I mentioned my husband is a neat freak? Yeah…sometimes this is a major source of our fights. But I’m working on it and he tries to be understanding. At least to a point. But I’m working on it.

— There are days, like today, when my diet is failing and I haven’t been working out, where I think “How bad would it really be to stay fat?” Yes. I think this. But then I remember all those photos I hate and the fact that I can’t wear clothes that I want to and I try to keep those thoughts away and tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and I get another chance. That new Nine West dress at work is also a great motivator. As is the Tiffany’s reward I will get once I hit my goal…

— While I’m definitely not a New York or Chicago type, I know I definitely would not fit in in the South. I went to school in the northernmost southern state, and even that was too much for me at times. And hearing about somethings that were expected or common practice made me gag or want to run away. Not all things in the South are bad. I’m not saying that at all. I’m currently in love with a seersucker dress and I like sweet tea and warm weather, but it’s not for me. I think I’m definitely a Midwest mentality. Too bad Midwest means no beach front. Darn.

— I really wish i lived closer to some of you. To grab coffee. A margarita. A pizza. A movie. Something. Love that the internet connects us, but then makes me sad it doesn’t make the globe smaller.

— When someone gets on to me about how young I am and I’m married, I want to scream. I’m not 16. We didn’t get married because I got knocked up. We’ve known each other longer than many adults did before they got married. We’re both pretty mature 24 year olds. We have our heads on straight. AND, not ONE person in either family thought we were too young. And they saw us together all the time. They knew we were ready and meant for one another. So when complete strangers try to tell me I made a mistake or imply that I was dumb, I want to shank them. Leave me be.

— I will NEVER take a bet if I think I might lose. You see, if I take or make a bet, or even if I just continue with an argument, it’s because I am 200% sure I am right. If we’re debating something (something fact based, not opinion or emotion), and I KNOW I’m right, I won’t back down. But, if I’m even the slightest bit hesitant, I will back down and check my facts before continuing. My husband is VERY slowly learning this. But I have won some pretty sweet bets this way. Poor guy just doesn’t know when to let it go. I won’t say I’m always right, but if I’m not backing down, you can be pretty sure that I know the answer. Unless it’s a sports bet and then it’s all chance anyways.

— Also, I’m fairly stubborn. And if you tell me I’m wrong when I am 200% sure I’m not, my brain explodes and I turn into the Hulk. It infuriates me. As does when people tell me I’m wrong about things that are subjective.  If I think it’s hot and you say I’m wrong because you think it’s cold, I’m going to get mad. I’m okay with you thinking it’s cold,  but don’t tell me I’m wrong. You have no idea what temperature I’m feeling. Just like I think tomatoes are gross. You may love them. Awesome. I won’t tell you you’re wrong because it’s subjective. End rant.

Open Book

Well, not really. A few lucky of you know my real name. My husband’s name. Where we live. Where i work. Where I want to live. Those things.

But I can’t go spilling everything to the interwebz. I have job applications out there people. I’m not dumb. (However, my mom, the most technology illiterate person I know, started telling me Facebook was a bad idea. Umm…I’ve had it for about 6 years mom. I think you’re a little late to the party. Also, i don’t post drunken body shot pictures. Oh the search results this is going to create…)

But I like to be honest. I feel if I’m going to blog, while I don’t have to lay it all out there, I shouldn’t lie or fake who I am. No Catfish story coming from this girl.

So I decided to do a little confessions/truths/oddities about NewTeacherWife. (Also, I’m going to need to change my blog/twitter name soon. We shall wait to see what comes of jobs, but I feel after a year I can’t call myself a new wife and since I haven’t taught since last April, and unless I get a teaching job for August, that’s going to have to change as well. So get to thinking on that because I’m terrible at catchy names. )

So, some more fun facts:

* I don’t really give a crap about college basketball. Or really any college sports. (Before you go hating me, let me explain.) Where I grew up, college sports weren’t a big thing. The local colleges weren’t sports schools and we had all the major league sports, minus basketball, so no need. And then in undergrad people we knew were so obnoxious about their love of a certain college sports teams that I have basically sworn them off. If you’re going to call me stupid for not liking your team, I’m going to be so spiteful and cheer against your team no matter what. And when they lose because they aren’t as great as they were hyped up to be, I will laugh and gloat. Yepp. I’m a real graceful winner. hahahaha

* I despise washing/blow drying my hair. Even though it’s currently shorter than it normally is, my hair is silly thick and takes forever to get all the conditioner out of and get it all the way dried. Luckily, I also have hair that I only wash about every three or four days. No, it’s not a greasy mess. My hair is actually pretty dry and just doesn’t need to be washed often. Which is good or I would just shave it off if I had to blow dry it everyday.

* I have an irrational fear of velociraptors. Yes. The dinosaur. That no longer exists. So, in Jurassic Park, everyone was most afraid of the T-Rex. But why? If he decides to eat you, it will be in one huge gulp and you won’t know it. No big deal. But the raptors? Those effers are smart and cunning and not enough bigger than a human, therefore, they’re going to have to slowly eat at you and rip you apart. TERRIFYING. The scene in the kitchen with them? Scares me to no end. Even worse, my husband knows of this fear, and add it to my fear of being chased, and he can imitate a raptor and it has brought me to tears before. Can’t believe I’m admitting it, but it’s true. Stuff of nightmares.

* I wanted to go to Bonnaroo very badly this year. Mr. A went the summer after he graduated high school and refuses to go again. Also, it’s super expensive. But I wanted to see Eminem and Lil Wayne and Old Crow Medicine Show and Wilco and all the other awesome bands playing. But then again, I can’t stand porta johns, so probably best I didn’t. Also, Mr. A said that even though we wouldn’t be doing any drugs, the amount being smoked would cause us to fail drug tests. And that’s probably not good at this point in time.

* I’m getting a littler frustrated with Twitter at the moment. I understand anyone can say what they want and if I don’t like something I can just unfollow, but sometimes, it gets ridiculous. I won’t say much more, but it’s a little silly at times.

* I have terrible road rage. And I feel I’m entitled to think everyone else is a terrible driver since I have a clean record. Please drive AT LEAST the speed limit, if not 5 over. Please and thank you.

* While I love the community I have built with this blog, because of everything going on, or not going on, I have been staying away because I feel like my last two months have been the exact same thing. I’m working on it. I have some posts in mind, but just know I haven’t left. I just can’t keep writing about the same stuff every week, so I wait till something comes to me or I finally have news to share.

* Knowing that we won’t be going home, except for one day for a baseball game at the end of the month, until finals are over, makes me even more anxious than I am. Knowing I won’t be getting out of this town for over a month makes me want to run away. Tomorrow.

* I promise not to tweet about baseball all the time. I actually don’t watch all the games, but I will watch clips and check scores and sometimes watch. But I know sports tweeting gets annoying, so I will keep it to a minimum.

* I WILL tweet pics when I’m wearing shorts, my brand new jersey, drinking a beer, and watching the game in the sun in 21 days. But only to make you jealous. Just once. 🙂

* I don’t want a baby. Not now. But I wish I could babysit. I would love to babysit an actual baby and I think playing with a toddler or two would be fun. Mostly because I can give them back and I’m not paying for them. But I do love kids and miss being around them since I worked at an after school program in undergrad.

* While I don’t miss dating and love my husband with all my heart, I do miss the kind of fun when just going out with girlfriends and not having any worries. My bachelorette party was kind of like that, but also it was all centered around me and I prefer just being a part of the group. I really, desperately, need a good girls night out. Why the heck do all of you live so far away?

 

I had more juicy confessions, but of course they are slipping my mind. Maybe I will try to do a bi-weekly confession post. Maybe.

 

Also, if you have any questions for ME, let me know! I think I talk to a lot of you regularly, but maybe you have a question that would be a good blog post or something. Just leave a comment or send me an e-mail!

Borrrrring

I’ve been telling myself for days that I just need to write an effing blog post already. Geeze. It shouldn’t be this hard.

The problem is that I have nothing interesting to write about.

I started a post about working in the men’s department and how it’s a whole other world in that corner, but it was lame and not as funny as actually witnessing some of the shenanigans.

Was working on one about wishing for things after law school. But it felt wrong and just like I was whining and very unfocused.

Have considered several posts about some of Mr. A’s classmates. But while I say I could care less if they found this and knew that I thought they were a bunch of shallow idiots, he still has to go to school with them and he’s had a rough semester as it is.

So here I am. Another brain dump because nothing exciting is going on. I don’t know anything new.

**This Wednesday when I get off from work, we are headed to Mr. A’s hometown, Mville. (For anyone new, I went to undergrad in Mville and that’s where we met.) I’m actually pretty excited about this. Until last week when she came up and took us to dinner, I hadn’t seen my MIL since Christmas. And while she was annoying me at the beginning of this marriage, I really do love her and she is hilarious. I lucked out with a great MIL and I’m happy to spend time with her for a few days. She will make us margaritas. We will grill steaks. She will fill us in on the local drama of the small town. (Which could be a great blog post because man oh man some of the things that happen there…) MIL, Mr. A, and myself will join in on making fun of BIL’s awful girlfriend and hope and pray she goes away soon. We will see some college friends and childhood friend of Mr. A. We will gorge on sushi at one of our favorite sushi places anywhere, and even more so since there isn’t a single sushi place here. It will be four days of relaxing and I can’t wait.

** I have put our Netflix instant queue into overdrive as we are watching all of Grey’s Anatomy. We’re only on season 3, but seeing as each season has like 20 episodes, there’s a lot of storyline to cover. Even better? Mr. A actually likes it, so we watch it together and he got mad the other day when I watched a couple without him and he made me rewatch them with him. HA! Also, much better to watch back to back so I know what happens next. I can’t imagine waiting a week to find out of Meredith lives or not after falling into the water on triage day. These are definitely white girl first world problems.

** It’s pi day! I didn’t really think about it until this morning, but decided to bake a pie after work. It is currently in the oven and our apartment smells fantastic. Blueberry pie, hot from the oven, with a scoop of vanilla bean ice cream. Heavenly.

** So, sometimes, I want to ask people on Twitter things, but then I get super nervous and wimp out. And it’s usually either about their job or about something they do as a hobby or about something they said. But I don’t want to intrude. And if it’s about their job, I think they probably get asked enough and I should just leave them alone. But so many questions….

** I am in a pant size that I haven’t been able to wear in a while. YAY! Still have a LONG FREAKING WAY TO GO, but it’s progress. And I’m about 3 pounds from a big milestone, so I’m trying to keep at it. Of course, this pie tonight might just set me back. 🙂

**Also, God has a sense of humor. For the past couple weeks, everytime I’ve said, “Tomorrow I am definitely going running”, the next day is either super cold or raining. And I’m not running in either, mostly because I just don’t have the proper attire to not freeze to death. Today was one of those days and I was really bummed to not be able to go for a run after work. Hopefully tomorrow. But don’t want to jinx myself again.

** In a little less than 2 weeks it will be my birthday. And I usually LOVE birthdays, but this year feels a little strange. I know what my mom got me. My dad said he would pay for some good running shoes for me, so no surprise because I doubt he’ll get anything else. Mr. A and I decided he could get something, but it had to be pretty inexpensive since we are on kind of a tight budget. MIL asked what I wanted, but she has helped out so much financially, that I can’t possibly ask her for anything. And I know birthdays aren’t about presents, but there seems to be no excitement about it this year. Oh well. At least it’s not a big number.

** No news about grad school. I’m getting super antsy and religiously checking the mail everyday. Applied for that school I was talking about. Turns out my dad knows and works with the principal since he is working on their brand new school. Hopefully that will help because if I were to get the job AND grad school, I’d take the job. The pay is amazing. It’s closer to where we want to live. And I’m sure the school would pay for my grad school after a year. And did I mention the pay? Yes please. (Also, if I get the job, I’m getting a dog. No matter what. I’ve told Mr. A and I think he’s going with it because I sounded pretty darn serious when I said it. And we had just been to Petsmart during a pet adoption and we both fell in love with a puppy but we obviously couldn’t get him. Sad day.)

** There has been a TON of baby news on Twitter and the blogs recently. And I am so excited for each and every family! Since we won’t be having babies anytime soon, it’s fun to hear about what they are going through and learning things and such. Babies are just cute and squishy and I can’t wait to have my own. In 3 years. And no sooner please.

 

**Also, was thinking about doing a giveaway for my birthday, but need ideas of what to giveaway. What do you want? Do you like gift cards? Gift packs-if so, what kind of theme? Sports stuff? Girly things? I want to help you win free things, but you have to help me with what you people want! I only try to please…..

 

**And since nothing new is happening with me, what’s up with you all? Fill me in.

Frozen

Well, you guys win.

Overwhelmingly, you want honest and true and what’s actually happening. If that’s me in a total breakdown over my super underemployment or talking about my irrational fears or writing about the weightloss challenges I’m facing-it’s what you want.

And I’m so glad.

I have always been one that kind of wears my emotions on my sleeves. Mystery isn’t really my game. I’d probably spill a whole lot more about myself if I wasn’t in a career field where I could get into some big trouble if I said too much or some ridiculous parent didn’t like my stories about margaritas and wine. (Really? Teachers are people too. We like beerz. Get over it.)

Also, I like that I got comments about me being “real”. One problem I have at times is that some of the blogs I read make it seem like their life is the picture of perfection. And maybe it is. I don’t know. But it makes me feel inadequate when all I read is about how peachy everyone is. I want someone to have a meltdown every once in a while. Show some grit. Some real emotion.

I completely understand not putting it all out there. I don’t blog about everytime Mr. A and I get into an argument or the nights that I wish I had my own apartment so I could just be in my own space for a few hours. Yes, sometimes we fight. Sometimes I do bitchy things. Sometimes he’s a butthead. But that’s life. I love him more than anything and he is my soulmate. My very clean and neat soulmate.

So I’m glad you want real because it’s what you’re going to get.

Like this:

I don’t really hide the fact that I hate my job in retail. It blows. Crappy hours. Rude customers. Coworkers who think this is the most important job on the planet. And I have a good degree and I make less than my BIL who was kicked out of college twice bc of failing grades and he now works at a factory making WAY MORE THAN I DO. I must have done something terrible because karma hates me right now.

So, you would think I would be all about applying for teaching jobs. Right?

Wrong.

I applied for grad school and a teaching assitantship position, but I won’t find anything out for about another month. That was stressful and I had to write a 10 page paper after a year out of the classroom and whatever. But, it’s over. I will find out via a letter telling me one way or another.

But teaching positions? So much more stressful.

For one, the applications are insane. I know they don’t want serial killers and such in their schools, but why do you need to know my exact high school gpa and class rank? Really? You want to judge me based on who I was in high school? I went to college and learned more about myself and the world and grew up. High school shouldn’t have anything to do with you hiring me. Just knowing who I dated in high school and no one would want to hire me. Sheesh.

Also, in my state, education jobs are incredibly competitive since the budget got slashed. Not as many positions and still lots of people applying.

And then there’s the interviews. I went through two teaching interviews in the past. One went really well and they didn’t hire me because they wanted someone with experience since they would be coming in half way through the year and it was for juniors who have HUGE portfolios to do. So I got it. I was bummed, but no big deal.

The other, didn’t go so great. I felt off and I usually interview well. It was with the school I student taught at, so I thought I was a bit of a shoo-in since I had glowing recommendations and the principal knew and liked me and the English department liked me. But I was interviewing against a “friend”. We were friends bc of proximity, not because I actually liked her. I didn’t.

Welp, she got the job. There are some other factors like the fact that I would have had to commute 1.5 hours where as she had a 15 minute drive. Also, she plans on living there for the rest of her life where I would have, at most, only been there 3 years.

But that was crushing. Add that she enjoyed rubbing it in my face and I’m a little scared of the whole process.

I feel stuck. Frozen. Locked in place.

I don’t even want to apply to places for fear of rejection. How ridiculous is that?

I logically know I will never get out of this shithole of a job without applying and looking for other work (if grad school doesn’t accept me (yet another stressor!!)). I just hate everything about job searching.

Add in how depressed I became during my 5 month unemployment stint after not even getting called for an interview for jobs I either would have been good at or was overqualified for.

So I’m trying to push through. A school close to my home city, that get both state funding and federal funding because of military students, and pays EXTREMLY well, has TWO English openings. HELLO! Two chances is better than one, right?

I’m trying to stay optimistic and somehow hoping a lot of people don’t know how well they pay and since it’s sort of in the middle of no where, don’t apply. Hoping.

But it would mean I would be moving home for a bit, and if Mr. A isn’t able to transfer to the other law school in my home city, then we would be living apart, which I wouldn’t be excited about.

So it’s all in the air.

I guess I need some good luck and prayers. Prayers that the RIGHT thing comes along. The thing that I will finally be happy with, whether that be grad school or a teaching position, I don’t know. But I need something because if I have to fit one more old lady for a bra and she insists on a push up bra to make “her girls look awesome”, I might vomit.