Alive!

I swear I’m alive. Mono has not killed me, at least not yet.

However, with the crazy work hours and the fact that I’m supposed to be resting more and that just doesn’t seem to be happening, blogging has be put on a back burner sadly.

I mean, after a 10 hour work shift, that I’m really probably not supposed to have, coupled with the fact that mono wants me to sleep for hours and the only thing getting me through are B complex vitamins and coffee on both lunch break and my 15 minute breaks, when I get home, I just want to crash. And my brain doesn’t want to work well enough to write a coherent post. Even better, Mr. A is done with finals, so I’m trying to spend time with him when I’m home, and he doesn’t really appreciate when I say, “Let’s spend time together” and then I blog and tweet. I don’t see the problem… 😉

But, just so you know, I miss you all terribly. I’ve actually been trying to at least read and keep up with all of you, even if I don’t comment. Please don’t leave me. As soon as the holidays are over, hours should be a little more stable and no more 6:30 am openings. I have things to tell you and posts to write.

I will be doing a year in review, because looking back where this year started and where I am now…WOW. Just wow.

I have a sentimental post I want to write about some amazing people I am missing dearly this holiday season.

And after Christmas Eve, since it will be Mr. A’s first time with my family, I will either have hilarious stories or horrible stories. Either way, I will fill you in. I mean, Christmas Eve isn’t supposed to start till 3:30pm, but my dad wants me, Mr. A, and my brother to all be at his house by 1pm. He has something planned. Hoping it’s a good one!

Also, I got an amazing video of my husband dancing to the Dance Central game for the Kinect tonight. HILARIOUS!!! But, he has banned me from posting. Maybe if you beg and plead and promise not to laugh at him too much, he’ll let me put it up because it is too effing funny.

In case I don’t get to say it before then, I hope you all have a super merry Christmas and enjoy your time with family and friends and loved ones. Know I’m wishing you all lots of holiday blessings and tons of good cheer.

And I will resume with blogging. Promise. Missed you all too much to be gone much longer! haha

Week in Review

I had blog posts planned and ideas, and then I got sick and tired and cranky and it didn’t happen. Sometimes life just calls and ruins plans.

**One of our best friends is going to be getting engaged soon. They went and picked out the ring and all that. We are so super excited for them. Mr. A and A went to school together and P and I went to school together. Actually, P (the girl) and I were prom dates my senior year (her junior) because my lame ass boyfriend at the time dumped me right before prom and I still wanted to go. She and I knew of each other, but we didn’t know each other well, but she wanted to go and we had mutual friends. So we showed up at the house where we were meeting and we were both in champagne strapless dresses. We matched on accident. It was amusing. Then, she came to the same college as I did, met Mr. A’s best friend and roommate, and they have been together only 6 months shorter than Mr. A and myself. We are so excited for them and I can’t wait for all of the celebrations to begin!!

** Another huge thank you for all of your support about my emotional holiday meltdown the other day. I took your advice and talked to my dad about the money aspect. He said my aunt must have been mistaken and he never expects us to pay that much and he knows we’re on a really tight budget. He was also incredibly understanding about us being late since I will have to work. So thank you. The funny thing? I never in a million years would have thought my dad to be as understanding as he was. Christmas Eve is a huge deal for our family and my dad isn’t always very flexible about things, but he was great. Now to just actually find and buy the gifts. The hardest part.

** Well, it happened. I got sick. So I spent my day off yesterday calling insurance to find a doctor I could go to since I haven’t been since we moved here, driving to said doctor’s office, and then waiting, just like you do everytime you go to the doctor. Also? The NICEST doctor’s office I have ever been to. They were genuinely friendly and helpful and the doctor was fantastic. Friendly, nice, talked to me like an adult and didn’t treat me like an idiot. Downfall? They couldn’t see anything and my strep test came back negative. But, I could have an infection in my throat that is hiding, so she gave me some antibiotics to try. Other possibility? I could have mono. I’ll let that sink in for a minute. Remember who I’m married to? A 1L in his first ever semester of law school finals. I’m hoping and praying these meds take care of it and it’s not mono. My husband might kill me if I gave him mono right now. hahaha. So, no eating or drinking after each other. No kissing. I’m not worried about sleeping on the couch since mono can’t be spread through the air, and I don’t have a fever, so I don’t think I’m contagious if it’s not mono. Or so we hope. But I’m ready for the golf ball sized swelling in the throat and the feeling of knives every time I swallow to go away.

** Went to my BIL’s 21st birthday dinner last night. I was bummed because my throat hurt so badly. But, the skanky girlfriend was not invited, so that helped a lot. BIL was actually in a good mood and not super awkward and crabby like he usually is. Only thing? He didn’t drink before his 21st and doesn’t seem to like any alcohol. We all got something different for him to try and he didn’t like anything really. He kind of liked the malibu and diet, but that was it. Oh well. We won’t feel obligated to take him with us when we go out since he doesn’t seem to like it. I just have never met anyone who can’t find anything they like. Or maybe I like it too much??

** Mr. A and I aren’t exchanging gifts this year. We’ve bought a couple things we wanted/needed for the apartment with my work discount, but it was still money spent. Also, we both spent pretty good chunks of change on our wedding gifts to each other, so we’ve decided to treat all of that as our gift and we’re going to go to a nice, but not super expensive dinner and it will save us some money. Feels weird to not get him a gift, but it feels like it’s what we need to do. Hopefully next year will be better.

** So you know how I’ve said that I haven’t felt like a law school widow since Mr. A has treated it like an 8-5 job and works hard all day, between classes, so I get to see and spend time with him after? Yeah. That’s changed. He’s in a study group that was very strategically picked and organized and they didn’t even ask all their friends- only the serious ones and who could help. But it’s basically, if they aren’t in class, they are studying. So class at 1? They study from 10-1. Class over at noon? They study from 12-6. This means that the only time, except the birthday dinner last night, that I have spent with Mr. A has been when we go to bed. And by then, we’re both so exhausted that there’s no talking and just saying good night and passing out. The other night, he didn’t even get home till midnight. Basically, I’m ready for finals to be over so I can actually see him. It also seems that he’s home when I’m at work, and as soon as I get off, he’s headed to his study group. Come on December 16th!!

I hope you all had a great week and have some fun plans for the weekend. We’re going to a tacky Christmas sweater party tonight and then I work till 11:30pm tomorrow, so my whole Saturday is shot, basically. Mr. A’s first final is on Tuesday, so I’m sure he will be studying a ton. We sure aren’t very exciting around here. If you’re having fun this weekend, have a little extra for us!

Scrooge

I actually feel more like Two-Face from Batman. Or maybe just a bi-polar, pmsing, drama queen.

Whatever the cause or fictional character I’m acting like, I’m not really into the Christmas spirit. Part of me wants to go buy or first Christmas tree. A small, real tree and decorate it with lights and pick an ornament color scheme and also a nice “First Christmas” ornament. We’ll drink coffee with Kahlua and enjoy the time. I want to find stockings to hang on our book shelves and sneak in small, silly little gifts for him to open. I want to find the perfect gifts that will make people light up when they open it, knowing I took the time, thought of them, and wanted them to be happy with their gifts.

But then days like today happen.

Today happens and I want to skip to next May and ignore all this holiday business. Today and the thought of putting up and decorating a tree exhausts me. The thought of stepping foot into a store and trying to guess what might make someone happy kind of makes my skin crawl.

See? Two-Face.

Strangely, I had a fantastic day at work. I won the drawing since I met my sales goal on Sunday and won $25 in store money. I was at 310% of my sales goal, which is unreal. I sold quite a bit of pre-sale, which might mean I wouldn’t have to work on Christmas Eve. I signed up a credit card, which meets my goals and earns me more store money. I had some good customers and I got some recognition from my boss for my hard work. I also feel like I got some info that means they will keep me after the holidays, which relieves some of the stress that I’ll be jobless again.

But then I came home.

And really, nothing in particular happened. Dishes were in the sink. And while I could have done them, I’ve been busy and stressed and after some of the work days, I couldn’t physically stand at the sink to wash them. I got irked because I think Mr. A should have done them at some point. He may have finals coming up, but he had plenty of free time also. Whatev. We both should have gotten off our butts and done it. Fine. I bought the wrong garlic bread at the store. Not normally a huge deal, but it made me want to throw or kick something. The cookies I made last night stuck to the cookie sheet, so when I tried to get them off, every single one of them crumbled which then made me want to just throw the whole cookie sheet away because the thought of having to scrub it makes me furious.

And thinking about Christmas is making me nauseous and mad and frustrated.

You see, my dad’s side has decided that we will draw names this year and play the dirty Santa game. $25 limit for the game. And when I asked about the drawing of names? $100. WHAT THE FUCK????????????

I was worried that it would be $50. $100. And in case you have yet to put it together, that really means $200 for us. Same bank account and one, minimum wage paying, part-time pay check.  Still aren’t seeing the problem? Mr. A didn’t take the extra loan money because it would have a higher interest rate and be the last to pay off and would be ridiculously expensive, so we didn’t want to take it unless absolutely necessary. We’re waiting for the spring loan money. Which we will get in January. January rent is due the 1st. Before the loan check. Along with all the other bills we have. And everyday expenses. And I’m refusing to ask my parents for money. I already don’t pay my car insurance, health insurance, or half my cell phone bill. Maybe if I couldn’t afford everything, maybe I should have waited to get married, lived at home, and been a hermit so I wasn’t being such a burden on the parents.

And guess what? That’s $200 on top of what I had already gotten for my parents because I stumbled upon things ar great prices and would be perfect for them. Husband and I? Not exchanging gifts. I still need to get something for his parents. And then two more silly gifts for the dumb game. So for Christmas Eve alone- $250. For people with real jobs, that may not be a big deal. For us? It makes me wonder if we will be able to afford rent, electric, water, internet (which yes, is a necessity for law school), gas, groceries, and fuck it all to hell if either of us gets sick. Oh wait, I forgot. Both of us are on daily medicines. And my bc is about to run out, so that will be $50. And my migraine meds require me to go to a doctor this week to get another prescription.

And no, I can’t say that we will opt out. Weird, but my family might love me, but they won’t be understanding of this. My mom would be, but not my dad’s side. My aunt is already pissy that I probably won’t be able to be there until 8pm, even though my brother often couldn’t get there until then due to work or needing to go to his girlfriend’s family or whatnot. Me? No one seems to be willing to budge. My dad might understand, but my stepmom and aunt will harass me the whole time, which then makes me want to say forget it and we’ll just go to Mr. A’s side this year, but I’m also being a big baby and not willing to not be at my mom’s for Christmas morning just yet. And no, it makes no sense to go to Mr. A’s for Eve, then my mom’s for the morning because it’s too far to drive. And his family doesn’t really do a big thing on Christmas Eve. Gahhhhh

Add on the usual stress and family issues that arise during the holidays, and I’d really be okay with skipping them this year. Which really kind of depresses me, since you know, it IS my first Christmas as a married couple and it’s already sucking.

But, I will be excited as I see pictures of everyone’s decorations and hearing about all the fun plans. I’ll just be patiently waiting for January.

Holiday Recap

These past few days have just been busy and hectic.

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun, but way too short for me. Since my family does it as a late afternoon thing, and I had to be at work super early the next day, we were only able to stay for a couple of hours. I was actually pretty upset about this since this is the only time I get to see that part of the family. I’m finally old enough that the older cousins, (I’m the youngest grandchild by 7 years) are finally treating me like an adult and not the little girl anymore. And then I had to leave way earlier than I think I have ever left. I missed the family movie and spending time with my cousin’s 6 week old baby.

But, at least I got to see them for a little bit.

My mom and stepdad weren’t able to go, however, because my stepdad’s arthritis flared up so badly in his foot that he couldn’t walk. This is the first year my mom wasn’t at Thanksgiving and this was supposed to be the first time in probably 10 years that all the siblings would have been there. But my mom planned out what she would be shopping for on Black Friday and got together her game plan.

And speaking of Black Friday…

Never again. If I happen to be working retail still next year, I will quit before Black Friday. It was hell.

I got there at 5:30am. Mr. A and I were going to go at 4 to buy a couple things we wanted, but I wasn’t sleeping well and decided to sleep that extra 1.5 hours because I knew it would be a long day. And if I had gone, I would have been at work for 12 straight hours.

We were allowed to wear tennis shoes since it would be a long and busy day. It helped the first 6 hours, but then it just didn’t matter. I was supposed to work a 10.25 hour shift. I ended up working 11.5. For some reason, my boss made my lunch break at 8am and I didn’t get off till 5. If I had been at home on a normal day, I would have eaten breakfast at 8 and then lunch at noon or 1. That day, I had some cold Fazoli’s that work had delivered for us and not another bite of food until 5:30 that night. I ran around all day. I had people that were super crabby and rude. I dealt with some rude coworkers who took over a register, wouldn’t share like we’re supposed to in order to equally distribute sales since we have sales goals to meet everyday. One woman, even if no one was wanting to check out for the moment, stood back there while the rest of us straightened since it looked like a tornado went through the store. It may seem like a small thing, but since I’m holiday and hoping they will keep me so I have a job after January, I need my sales numbers to look as good as possible.

When I got home on Friday, I was nearly in tears because my feet hurt so badly. I have never felt pain like that in my feet before. My MIL had given the husband money and told him to take me out to dinner since she knew I would have a long day, so that was much appreciated and I devoured some delicious Thai food.

Saturday I worked again in the morning, and while it was busy, it was less chaotic and back to the more enjoyable work environment again. After work, I headed to Mr. A’s hometown to see his family for their Thanksgiving. It was a great time and, even better, the new baby that his cousin and his wife adopted from Ethiopia- even cuter in person. And I’m not just saying this because he’s family,  but this baby would be a perfect Baby Gap model. He has the best smile I’ve ever seen and he has the widest range of facial expressions. Also, when he first meets someone, he wants you to get close enough so he can feel your face, so it was sweet when he was touching my face and giggling and smiling. Melted my heart. Husband kept feeling my forehead to make sure my baby fever was in check. HA!

Also was able to hold the 4 week old baby and he was just as calm and content as could be. New babies are the best. Right next to new puppies.

This week has been busy with work and holiday traveling and various things going on. These next few weeks are going to be rough since finals start next week and work schedules, and Christmas shopping and trying to maintain some level of a life. I’m ready for…something. I think I’m ready for this year to be over already. On to the next holiday.

My Brain Is Exploding

I was so very determined not to do just a random post with all sorts of things, but seeing as I haven’t written since like Wednesday, this is what I’ve got. So much has been going on and getting into the swing of things with the new job and I have just been exhausted. My poor feet are about to give up on me and find someone who loves them more.

* So, first of all- the job. Truthfully, it’s been going really well. Yes, 8 hours straight, on my feet, on concrete mean my feet are screaming by the time I get home. I even bought some gel insoles, but they’re so thick that it then makes my shoes not fit right or even feel worse. I’m going to have to figure something out. But other than that, I kind of like it. I’m still having some self-esteem issues when people ask where I work because I still feel kind of like a failure since I have a college degree and work for a manager who never went to college. But, for the time being, it’s going great. My mom said that when I talk to her after work, that my attitude and outlook is a million times better than when I would talk to her after any other job. She said it even sounds like I’m enjoying this more than I did when I was student teaching. And yes, I’ve questioned the teaching, but I don’t want to work in retail as a career. Some people do, but not me. It’s good for now and makes it so I can look for other things while I work. I also like the people I work with, so that helps. I just hope they keep me on after the holidays. I need the job.

Also, I helped catch someone that, we’re pretty sure, was about to steal. Too bad I think they realized we were watching them, because had they stolen and then gotten caught, I would have gotten $140 plus a percentage of the goods they stole. Oh well. Probably better that they didn’t. I also opened my first store credit card today, which got me some in-store money. It has it’s benefits.

*Some of you may have seen this on Twitter, but Friday night we went to go see HP7 after I got off work. I was so excited since I wasn’t able to go to the midnight showing. Yes. I love the HP series so much that I was mad I couldn’t camp out at 6pm for a midnight showing of a movie. Whatever. But then, my head exploded. More specifically, a massive migraine hit. I take a daily pill to keep the migraines away, and then I have a pain pill/lowers blood pressure pill to take when I get one. Usually, if I can catch it right at the very start of one, I can make it go away with a dark and quiet room for an hour. But here I was, at a movie I had been dying to see, at it hits. I took my pill and got some water and was hoping reallllllly hard that it would go away, but it just got worse. It got to the point where I knew I was going to be sick and about to be in tears because of the pain, so I had to leave. I made it only about 45 minutes into it. I tried to make Mr. A stay to finish since we had driven separately, but he’s too nice for that and came home to take care of me.

* But, then my amazing husband, bought us tickets for a Saturday matinee show and it was amazing! I think they did a really great job with it. I was bummed that a couple things got left out, but if they did everything from the book, the movie would be 10 hours long. Which I would still watch, but probably doesn’t have the selling abilities to the mass public. Now I’m just dying for the last part to come out. And you can bet I will be camped out for the midnight showing of that one. Dorky? Yes. But I’m proud of it. haha

*I was going to talk about Thanksgiving, but I have so much to say, that it should probably be it’s own post. But I am so very excited to see all the new babies in the families. I have 2 new ones on my side and Mr. A’s side has 4! Four new, squishy, cuddly, babies to play with. And since there are so many, I might actually get a chance with them because when there’s only one, the grandparents and the aunts seem to hog them all day. Mr. A will just be hoping this keeps my baby wants at bay and doesn’t amplify them. But don’t worry. No babies around here for at least 3 years. A puppy better be coming soon. What are your Thanksgiving plans? Will you be cooking or are you going somewhere?

* We still have to make a decision as to whether or not we’re going to stay in our current apartment or not. We have to decide for next month and it’s stressing me out since I don’t know if I’ll still have this job after the beginning of January or not. Hard to commit to paying anymore when I have no idea what our money situation will be like. So we shall see.

*Finals will seen be upon us. Mr. A is off all of this week, he has class next week, and then two weeks of finals. I think we’re both ready for the 17th to be here already. I know finals is a stressful time, but Mr. A has done so well with his study schedule and outlining all semester and such that I’m hoping it isn’t so terrible. I’m sure he will be at school more and I will need to stock up on books to read quietly, but hopefully it won’t be earth shattering. Some of his classmates should be freaking out since I know some got way behind on reading assignments and some haven’t even started outlining. He’s done excellent with keeping up with everything and working the whole time, so I just hope he does well. Also, he will receive his call of Black Ops as soon as he walks through the door after his last final. And he has been given my blessing to play way to many hours of video games on the couch over Christmas break as long as he still helps with some house chores. I expect him to have a beard to shave before the second semester starts.

* And I need your help. I have not one single idea for Mr. A for Christmas. We’re trying not to spend too much money, but I want to give him something, or do something for him that he’ll really love. I just can’t think of anything to do for him that isn’t lame or that isn’t something I want done for me. And I don’t want to buy him clothes because my mom has gotten him a bunch of stuff for Christmas and I think clothes are boring between he and I. He doesn’t buy me clothes, so I want to get him something better than that. Ideas? What do you and your husband or wife do for each other for Christmas or what are you buying this year?