2010- The Rollercoaster

When 2009 ended, 2010 was full of promise and optimism. I wasn’t blogging at the time, so I don’t have it all written down, but I was excited. 2010 was going to be THE year. I just didn’t know THE year of what.

I started this year as a bright-eyed new college graduate. I was fresh off an amazing student teaching experience and looking forward to finally not being a student. I was offered a last minute long term substitute job. While it would only be until April, it was like a real job. Also, wasn’t the age I really wanted (8th), but still, I found a job as a December graduate.

I was living in an apartment with 3 other girls. Nothing terrible, but wasn’t happy with it really, so I was basically living at Mr. A’s apartment. Scandal, I know.

The first three months were spent driving 40 minutes each way to work. The school wasn’t great, but I got some great experience and some amazing references for future jobs. I got called a bitch by a student. I was told I was some students’ favorite teacher. The school brought me to tears on my last day as the principal read little notes my students had written to me.

By May, school was out and wedding was all I was thinking of. Last minute details were starting to stress me out. My mom was annoying me, but she had done so much, so I tried to bite my tongue and keep my fiance from getting too upset with her and her endless questions and requests. Seating charts were studied over. Calls of confirmations were made with florists, venues, judge, wedding party, and everyone else under the sun. We dealt with people not RSVPing, people we didn’t want to invite throwing a fit, despite the fact that I had never met them.

But on May 30th, 2010 at 5pm on a gorgeous spring afternoon, we stood in front of friends and family and vowed to love each other, for better or worse, for the rest of our lives. I married my best friend. I giggled through the ceremony because I was so excited. I held my new husband’s hand as it shook from nervousness. I listened to my stepdad get choked up as he prayed and cheered as we were announced as husband and wife. Life ahead of us looked promising.

We spent a couple days with family and friends before setting off on our romantic honeymoon in Mexico. It was our first real trip together and we were excited. Even waiting at the airport, in the heat and humidity, we were light with giddiness. Our room was gorgeous and the ocean even more so. I wanted to lay on that beach all day, listening to the waves crash as we sipped coconut rum and fresh pineapple juices, reading books, and being cooled by the salty breeze and refreshing blue water. It was paradise.

And while I will always look upon our honeymoon fondly and with the deepest desires to go back, maybe as a post law school celebration, there was a stain on that trip.

Our second day in paradise, we received the terrible news that Mr. A’s granny had passed away. She was one of the sweetest people I have ever met, and since my last grandparent had passed away less than a year before, she eagerly accepted me into the family as one of her own. We were devastated. Even more so, we wouldn’t be able to make it to the funeral. We both miss her dearly, but we know she’s in Heaven, pain free and watching over us.

The summer of 2010 brought a lot of new changes. We moved into the new city where Mr. A would be attending law school, into our first apartment as a married couple. We set up rooms. Put up decorations and found new cubbies for all our wedding gifts.

Mr. A started law school. We figured out our routine. Well, he had a routine. I was in a rut.

This second half of 2010 has been full of unemployment. The term “funemployment” must have been coined by someone with a job because I will promise you that nothing is fun about it. 2010 kicked my self-esteem to the ground and stomped on it. It showed me that nothing can be taken for granted, not even getting a job. I won’t rehash the desperation, but it was a curve ball.

The last of months of 2010 have been…something. I finally got a job in retail. Retail during the holidays is hell. Also, it seems like shoppers think you’re their personal slave and must be dumb if you work at the mall. Yes, I heard someone talking about me say that I was sure to do whatever they said since I probably didn’t even finish high school. People are swell.

2011, I’m ready for you, and I hope you can beat 2010, especially the last part. You have a big job ahead of you. Hope you’re ready because I’m ready to take it on and gain some of myself back. Just a heads up.

****EDIT****

It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m sitting in my pajamas, because not only do I have mono, which is strange in itself, but I seemed to have also developed the flu in the past 2 days. Seriously 2010? You just had to rub it all in, didn’t you?

At least it’s over…

Well, I’ve written this post once and deleted it.

Basically, this Christmas was pretty terrible. I was excited since it was going to be our first Christmas as a married couple, but family drama and stupid crap made it not such a great holiday.

I was planning on writing all about it, but for some reason it wasn’t coming out right and I can’t seem to express the emotions and the problems, so I’m just ditching it.

Today has been more relaxing and I had to work this morning. But now I’m home, in my pajamas and watching movies on the couch. Mr. A is at his dad’s for their Christmas, and while I wish I could have gone, I think it’s good that I have this time by myself and no more trying to talk with family and be nice.

We will be going to his mom’s on Wednesday night to do Christmas with them. I know we need to spend just as much time with his side, but after this weekend, I would much rather just skip the whole thing.

But, on a brighter note, I got a Kindle for Christmas!!

I haven’t played with it much, and I need to get the hang of it, but I’m excited about it. I want to start taking it with me to work and reading on my breaks. I will spend less money eating out and will get to enjoy some books that I’ve been missing out on.

Also, got some gift certificates, a necklace I wanted, the biggest bottle of wine that I’ve ever seen, BareMinerals make-up kit, awesomely new pajamas (which I’m wearing right now), new jeans, and other little things.

Mr. A and I weren’t going to exchange gifts because of finances and such, but we decided to get something small for one another. He bought me the STL Cards baseball hat I’ve been wanting (it was a specific one) and the Yankee Candle that I loveeeee. I bought him Jay-Z’s biography, “Decoded”. We both like his music and I just saw an interview with him that was really fascinating, so I think the book will be really good. Mr. A was excited and since he doesn’t go back till the 18th, he should have some free time to read for enjoyment again.

So what did you all get this Christmas?

I’m hoping to save up money and maybe next year we can go on a little trip and be by ourselves. I would love to spend Christmas in Colorado or somewhere with snow and maybe learn how to ski or cuddle by a fireplace with some wine and watch snow fall. Now THAT sounds like a wonderful Christmas with my husband. Now to get a better paying job to make this happen….

Alive!

I swear I’m alive. Mono has not killed me, at least not yet.

However, with the crazy work hours and the fact that I’m supposed to be resting more and that just doesn’t seem to be happening, blogging has be put on a back burner sadly.

I mean, after a 10 hour work shift, that I’m really probably not supposed to have, coupled with the fact that mono wants me to sleep for hours and the only thing getting me through are B complex vitamins and coffee on both lunch break and my 15 minute breaks, when I get home, I just want to crash. And my brain doesn’t want to work well enough to write a coherent post. Even better, Mr. A is done with finals, so I’m trying to spend time with him when I’m home, and he doesn’t really appreciate when I say, “Let’s spend time together” and then I blog and tweet. I don’t see the problem… 😉

But, just so you know, I miss you all terribly. I’ve actually been trying to at least read and keep up with all of you, even if I don’t comment. Please don’t leave me. As soon as the holidays are over, hours should be a little more stable and no more 6:30 am openings. I have things to tell you and posts to write.

I will be doing a year in review, because looking back where this year started and where I am now…WOW. Just wow.

I have a sentimental post I want to write about some amazing people I am missing dearly this holiday season.

And after Christmas Eve, since it will be Mr. A’s first time with my family, I will either have hilarious stories or horrible stories. Either way, I will fill you in. I mean, Christmas Eve isn’t supposed to start till 3:30pm, but my dad wants me, Mr. A, and my brother to all be at his house by 1pm. He has something planned. Hoping it’s a good one!

Also, I got an amazing video of my husband dancing to the Dance Central game for the Kinect tonight. HILARIOUS!!! But, he has banned me from posting. Maybe if you beg and plead and promise not to laugh at him too much, he’ll let me put it up because it is too effing funny.

In case I don’t get to say it before then, I hope you all have a super merry Christmas and enjoy your time with family and friends and loved ones. Know I’m wishing you all lots of holiday blessings and tons of good cheer.

And I will resume with blogging. Promise. Missed you all too much to be gone much longer! haha

Who’s Kissing Who?

If you follow me on Twitter, you probably already know what’s going on here.

About a week and a half ago, I went to the doctor with a super sore throat and ear ache. It felt like I had a golf ball in my throat that was covered in needles poking me every time I tried to swallow.

Side Tangent: greatest doctor’s office EVAR!!!! It is an urgent care center, but it’s much more like a general doctor’s office where you don’t need an appointment. Every nurse and doctor I’ve met is incredibly nice and goes out of their way to help and make you feel comfortable. I was shocked that both doctors introduced themselves by their first names and explained everything to me. And not in kindergarten terms. Treated like an adult, but super nice and love them.

Anywhosit…

They gave me some antibiotics, even though my strep test came back negative. She mentioned that mono sometimes starts this way and to watch out for a rash because sometimes, if you have mono, and take amoxicillin, it can develop a rash.

So, like a good patient, I took my meds, on time, and finished them like you’re supposed to. (And unlike how my husband takes them till he feels better and then stops. This is a BAD PLAN people. ) And while my throat finally got better after about 5 days, which is way long in my opinion, some other things started to happen.

Like, the rash. But I wasn’t sure if this was a sure sign since it would show up for a day, itch like hell, then disappear. Then a couple days later, it would reappear again. Luckily I was off Sunday when it decided to appear on the side of my face! Yeah. It was sexy.

Also, my lymphnodes were sensitive to touch and, I thought they were swollen a little. And then I had like 5 sores pop up in my mouth all on the same day.

So I did what any educated person does- looked up mononucleosis on webMD.com. Duh. And I found that I had a lto of the symptoms.

I drug my happy butt back to the doctor today. I met with a different doctor than before, so she didn’t have any preconceived ideas about my symptoms or anything. She walked in, looked at my chart, looked at me and immediately said, “Wow, your lymphnodes are really swollen.” Apparently I’m not always this puffy faced. FTW!

She said, based on symptoms and the fact that I had a rash, even if periodically, that she was pretty sure I had mono. She then had me lay down so she could feel my abdomen. As soon as she pressed on the left side, I moaned in pain. Guess what that means? Yep, you guessed it. My spleen is enlarged. Wonderful. She then said she would bet her degree that I had mono.

But do you know how they test for mono? Blood tests. And while I’m not needle squeemish after 3 years of allergy shots every Saturday, still not my favorite thing. Even better? They had to stick me four times. Apparently I was a little dehydrated so none of the veins wanted to cooperate. And the time on my hand? It is killing me and is swollen and puffy. Marvelous.

All of this to find out that, yes, I do in fact have mono. At 24. And I’m married. Not like I’ve been having random make out sessions. Even funnier, I posted on Facebook about this, and one of Mr. A’s classmate’s wives has mono right now too. So I’m thinking a classmate had it and we somehow shared food or a drink or they licked a spoon while making food for a potluck and then we ate it. Who knows. But it is amusing to tease Mr. A about who he’s been making out with. He doesn’t find it nearly as amusing as I do.

Side story: my mom gave me a sex talk today. Yes. Her 24 year old, married daughter. Apparently some viruses can screw with your birth control, and so she was telling me about taking “all precautions” since we can’t really afford a baby and, as I’ve said before, law school and screaming baby don’t mix. Husband is super embarrassed that my mom was talking about this. It was awkward, but I think it’s funny. Does she think I live under a rock?

Now to talk to work about not having so many super long shifts so I can rest like I need to. That should be fun. (What’s the sarcasm font again?)

No More Snow Days

Went to bed last night and it was cold and windy. It had rained all day, but had finally decided to stop. It was just a cold December night.

This morning, Mr. A got up and was headed to get some tabs from Walmart for his Torts outline and then was going to spend a couple hours at Panera to study before meeting up with his study group. I groggily drug my butt out of bed and was thinking what I would do with yet another day off at home alone. And then Mr. A called me to the living room.

I walked out, bed headed, teeth unbrushed still, sleepy eyed and decided that if he was going to show me a bug, he was going to be in big trouble.

He opened the door to this:

Doesn't look like it in this pic, but we have about 5 inches and it's still snowing...

So, I know they kept talking about a Midwest storm, but it wasn’t supposed to be here.

I had gotten on weather.com last week just to look and see if we would get hit, and STL was the most southern point of the storm path, at least according to the forecast maps. We were going to get rain and some super cold temperatures. Maybe a flurry overnight, but really nothing accumulating.

WRONG. So very wrong.

Mr. A had a foot deep snowdrift behind his car this morning.

I like to say that it’s because we put up our Christmas tree last night and a few decorations.

Royal blue and silver glittery ornaments. I'm in love with it.

Since we don't have a mantle, I decorated in front of the tv with wine glasses and left over ornaments.

May not be a scientific cause, but a girl can dream, right?

The sad thing, I really wish I could go play in it. If I was back home, I would be going to Art Hill and screaming my head off in fear that I would be catapulted into the lake, even though it’s never happened. And then curing the whole way back up the hill. But too fun to pass up.

But the hubs has a final tomorrow, so I will be at home, sitting on the couch, watching Netflix, drinking hot spiced apple cider and praying that the snow keeps up and the mall decides to close tomorrow so I don’t have to go. If only….

How are you spending your snow day today?

He’s On My List

You know the joke. Couples have the list of celebrities that their significant other is allowed to cheat on them with. It’s funny and amusing.

Mr. A’s: Natalie Portman (even bald in V for Vendetta), Katy Perry, Ellen Page, and Lea Michele.

**I just realized all of them are dark haired, a little darker skinned, a little exotic looking. And the total opposite of me. Hmm. I’ll try not to focus on that. ha

I have a list. Not always typical. I love Dennis Quaid, Ryan Reynolds, Adam Sandler (more to go grab a beer with), John Krasinski.

And Ben Folds.

I don’t necessarily want to sleep with him, but if he could just sing to me and be his funny, uncensored self? I’d be sold. I really would have loved to have “The Luckiest” as our wedding song, but that wouldn’t really have been in our wedding singer’s repertoire. And it wouldn’t have been as good as him, so no point trying. Now if he sang at our wedding… Can I get a redo and invite him???

I have been a fan of his since he was in Ben Folds Five. There is just something about his voice that I love. I think his songs are great and I could just listen to his music for hours.

 

He is from Nashville, which is about 2 hours away from my undergrad. He did a show at my school my junior year. I was so freaking pumped because 1. Ben Folds would be at my undergrad 2. my school NEVER had good people come unless it was a country person. Or John Mayer and the tickets were so effing expensive and then he only played for 37 minutes. Screw you John Mayer. or 3. Because my dad was AMAZING and got us second row seats.

So, the opening band played, and they were good, but was anxious for Ben. Now, just to remind you, he’s from Nashville. It’s SUPER easy to get from Nashville to my school. Since he had a show in ugrad town, he decided to make a doctor’s appointment for that day since he wouldn’t have far to go for the show. Somehow, he and his wife got lost from Nashville to school. No idea how, but they did.

His concert team was great. They gave out free stuff and all that jazz. They kept us updated on where they were. Mr. A was a little perturbed because he figured Ben would show up late, play for like 30 minutes and leave since he was late.

Well, two and a half hours later… he showed up. And not only did he apologize a BILLION times, he played as long as he would have had he been on time. So it was nearly a 2 hour show. Even better? He improved an entire song about our school.

Part of the song he improved for us. And yes, he does say “there’ll be no beer at the BP station.” Oh going to college in a “moist” county blows. (Sorry it’s not a great video. Best one I could find…)

One of my all time favorite concerts. He’s fun. He doesn’t censor himself, which I’m a fan of. He puts on one hell of a show live. Just wonderful.

And now he’s on the NBC show “The Sing Off”. I’m a new fan of the show and I love that one of my faves, who wasn’t always mainstream, is getting some more popularity.

Maybe I can covert a few of you as well. 😉

Step Back

For those of you who have read my blog for a while, you can probably tell there has been a pretty drastic shift in mood and attitude recently. I’ve always tried to be honest and talk about my life in a semi-open way without airing all the dirty laundry on the internet or giving too much away about us since some people are crazy and I don’t necessarily want them to find me.

For newer readers, maybe you always think I’m this sad and depressing. I wasn’t. It probably started when I was about 2 months into unemployment. I hit some dark spots. I shared parts, but not all. I may have been unemployed, but at least we don’t have kids to pay for and we had student loans to pay for bills for a while. Mr. A’s mom was helping and we weren’t going to starve. I knew, even in the days when I could hardly force myself out of bed because I didn’t see the point, I still knew it would get better or that I should be grateful for what we had because others had it worse.

And then I got a job, and it seemed to get better for a while. It wasn’t my ideal job, but after applying for all sorts of places and quickly contemplating fast food, it was better than nothing. Even better? I kind of liked it. At least I was out of the house and interacting with people.

But that has seemed short lived. I’m not going to write about everything. At least not now, not when I’m in the middle of it all.

So, if I don’t write everyday like I want to, it’s just because I’m waiting to write about something happy, funny, or even just everyday goings-on. But I need to be a little more cautious with writing about the problems all the time. Maybe if I focus on the happier events, then it will make things a little happier on my side of the internet.

Week in Review

I had blog posts planned and ideas, and then I got sick and tired and cranky and it didn’t happen. Sometimes life just calls and ruins plans.

**One of our best friends is going to be getting engaged soon. They went and picked out the ring and all that. We are so super excited for them. Mr. A and A went to school together and P and I went to school together. Actually, P (the girl) and I were prom dates my senior year (her junior) because my lame ass boyfriend at the time dumped me right before prom and I still wanted to go. She and I knew of each other, but we didn’t know each other well, but she wanted to go and we had mutual friends. So we showed up at the house where we were meeting and we were both in champagne strapless dresses. We matched on accident. It was amusing. Then, she came to the same college as I did, met Mr. A’s best friend and roommate, and they have been together only 6 months shorter than Mr. A and myself. We are so excited for them and I can’t wait for all of the celebrations to begin!!

** Another huge thank you for all of your support about my emotional holiday meltdown the other day. I took your advice and talked to my dad about the money aspect. He said my aunt must have been mistaken and he never expects us to pay that much and he knows we’re on a really tight budget. He was also incredibly understanding about us being late since I will have to work. So thank you. The funny thing? I never in a million years would have thought my dad to be as understanding as he was. Christmas Eve is a huge deal for our family and my dad isn’t always very flexible about things, but he was great. Now to just actually find and buy the gifts. The hardest part.

** Well, it happened. I got sick. So I spent my day off yesterday calling insurance to find a doctor I could go to since I haven’t been since we moved here, driving to said doctor’s office, and then waiting, just like you do everytime you go to the doctor. Also? The NICEST doctor’s office I have ever been to. They were genuinely friendly and helpful and the doctor was fantastic. Friendly, nice, talked to me like an adult and didn’t treat me like an idiot. Downfall? They couldn’t see anything and my strep test came back negative. But, I could have an infection in my throat that is hiding, so she gave me some antibiotics to try. Other possibility? I could have mono. I’ll let that sink in for a minute. Remember who I’m married to? A 1L in his first ever semester of law school finals. I’m hoping and praying these meds take care of it and it’s not mono. My husband might kill me if I gave him mono right now. hahaha. So, no eating or drinking after each other. No kissing. I’m not worried about sleeping on the couch since mono can’t be spread through the air, and I don’t have a fever, so I don’t think I’m contagious if it’s not mono. Or so we hope. But I’m ready for the golf ball sized swelling in the throat and the feeling of knives every time I swallow to go away.

** Went to my BIL’s 21st birthday dinner last night. I was bummed because my throat hurt so badly. But, the skanky girlfriend was not invited, so that helped a lot. BIL was actually in a good mood and not super awkward and crabby like he usually is. Only thing? He didn’t drink before his 21st and doesn’t seem to like any alcohol. We all got something different for him to try and he didn’t like anything really. He kind of liked the malibu and diet, but that was it. Oh well. We won’t feel obligated to take him with us when we go out since he doesn’t seem to like it. I just have never met anyone who can’t find anything they like. Or maybe I like it too much??

** Mr. A and I aren’t exchanging gifts this year. We’ve bought a couple things we wanted/needed for the apartment with my work discount, but it was still money spent. Also, we both spent pretty good chunks of change on our wedding gifts to each other, so we’ve decided to treat all of that as our gift and we’re going to go to a nice, but not super expensive dinner and it will save us some money. Feels weird to not get him a gift, but it feels like it’s what we need to do. Hopefully next year will be better.

** So you know how I’ve said that I haven’t felt like a law school widow since Mr. A has treated it like an 8-5 job and works hard all day, between classes, so I get to see and spend time with him after? Yeah. That’s changed. He’s in a study group that was very strategically picked and organized and they didn’t even ask all their friends- only the serious ones and who could help. But it’s basically, if they aren’t in class, they are studying. So class at 1? They study from 10-1. Class over at noon? They study from 12-6. This means that the only time, except the birthday dinner last night, that I have spent with Mr. A has been when we go to bed. And by then, we’re both so exhausted that there’s no talking and just saying good night and passing out. The other night, he didn’t even get home till midnight. Basically, I’m ready for finals to be over so I can actually see him. It also seems that he’s home when I’m at work, and as soon as I get off, he’s headed to his study group. Come on December 16th!!

I hope you all had a great week and have some fun plans for the weekend. We’re going to a tacky Christmas sweater party tonight and then I work till 11:30pm tomorrow, so my whole Saturday is shot, basically. Mr. A’s first final is on Tuesday, so I’m sure he will be studying a ton. We sure aren’t very exciting around here. If you’re having fun this weekend, have a little extra for us!