Tag Archives: wishful thinking

At least it’s over…

Well, I’ve written this post once and deleted it.

Basically, this Christmas was pretty terrible. I was excited since it was going to be our first Christmas as a married couple, but family drama and stupid crap made it not such a great holiday.

I was planning on writing all about it, but for some reason it wasn’t coming out right and I can’t seem to express the emotions and the problems, so I’m just ditching it.

Today has been more relaxing and I had to work this morning. But now I’m home, in my pajamas and watching movies on the couch. Mr. A is at his dad’s for their Christmas, and while I wish I could have gone, I think it’s good that I have this time by myself and no more trying to talk with family and be nice.

We will be going to his mom’s on Wednesday night to do Christmas with them. I know we need to spend just as much time with his side, but after this weekend, I would much rather just skip the whole thing.

But, on a brighter note, I got a Kindle for Christmas!!

I haven’t played with it much, and I need to get the hang of it, but I’m excited about it. I want to start taking it with me to work and reading on my breaks. I will spend less money eating out and will get to enjoy some books that I’ve been missing out on.

Also, got some gift certificates, a necklace I wanted, the biggest bottle of wine that I’ve ever seen, BareMinerals make-up kit, awesomely new pajamas (which I’m wearing right now), new jeans, and other little things.

Mr. A and I weren’t going to exchange gifts because of finances and such, but we decided to get something small for one another. He bought me the STL Cards baseball hat I’ve been wanting (it was a specific one) and the Yankee Candle that I loveeeee. I bought him Jay-Z’s biography, “Decoded”. We both like his music and I just saw an interview with him that was really fascinating, so I think the book will be really good. Mr. A was excited and since he doesn’t go back till the 18th, he should have some free time to read for enjoyment again.

So what did you all get this Christmas?

I’m hoping to save up money and maybe next year we can go on a little trip and be by ourselves. I would love to spend Christmas in Colorado or somewhere with snow and maybe learn how to ski or cuddle by a fireplace with some wine and watch snow fall. Now THAT sounds like a wonderful Christmas with my husband. Now to get a better paying job to make this happen….



Filed under Married Life, Normal Family?

Roots or Wings

This may be a strange time in my life to be having this discussion with myself, but it’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately.

Do I want to develop my roots or grow some wings?

Really, I have 2.5 years to figure all this out, but since law school seems like such a stagnant and unchanging time, I constantly find myself looking beyond, into what our life will be like once it finally starts.

I’ve thought that we would move to my hometown as soon as he graduated. That’s been the plan for a while not. It’s what we tell people if they ask. I mean, we love my home city.


I love this skyline and the life full of memories I have here. I love that’s it’s not too big, but can offer just about everything a big city has without being crazy crowded and expensive.


I want to go sledding here, along with the entire city. I want to hope I don’t crash into anyone and just apologize when I do because there’s almost no way not to.

stl 3

I want to be able to go back to our favorite place and remember when Mr. A proposed here. We love this place and visit all year long.

stl 4

I will always cheer for these guys. I’m not huge into sports, but the passion this city has for it’s baseball is amazing and it sucks you in. When we win a championship, we celebrate with parades, not burning cars and raiding stores. We’ve been called some of the greatest sports fans and I love to be a part of it.

These are my roots. We love the area and I would love to be close to my family. My mom and I have become so much closer recently and it would be so much fun to live close enough to go shopping on the weekends together, or if I’m in need of a mom fix, just be able to go to her house. Also, my brother and I have been growing closer, and he and Mr. A have become friends. They can go cycling together and we love hanging out with him and his funny cat.

Everything about this place I love.

Well, maybe not everything since no place is perfect, but it’s home and it’s what we know.

But I’ve been antsy lately.

I have several friends who have moved or are moving to Chicago for new jobs. A lot of my friends out of high school went to Chicago for school, where as I went south and to a super small town.

I think I wish I would have gone to either a bigger school or a school in a big city. I feel I missed out on a lot of opportunities and experiences. And now I’m married and feel like maybe I can’t ever have some of those experiences because I’m older and have a husband and we’ll be having kids.

But we’ve visited Chicago and are trying to plan another trip back there. It was so much fun.

So now I’m wondering if maybe we could move there? It would be a big city experience for both of us and maybe more job opportunities for Mr. A and myself. But do we want to live in a condo on the 30th floor of a building instead of having a house with a yard?

Chicago 1

I would love this to be our skyline.


I want to be there for this. Yes, it might be chaos, but the whole city would be celebrating and would be fun to be a part of.

chicago 4

I would NEVER cheer for these guys, but I’d go to a game when my favorite team is playing be cheer against the crowds. Maybe I’ll cheer for that other Chicago team. Maybe.

chicago 5

I know this is super touristy and if we actually lived there, we would probably mock the hordes of tourists that visit, but I love Millennium Park. I want to go to the beach that’s right in the city. I love how there is so much offered and it’s all so close.

I know, the winters suck there, but it’s also a hot and sticky mess in my city in the summer.

We’ve also talked about D.C., but I’m not sure if that’s a place I would want to live all the time. It seems a little catty and cut-throat and I’m not so much about all that. And if we moved to Chicago, we may not even stay there permanently. Maybe move there for a few years then move home.

A girl can dream, right?

Who knows what will happen. I guess it will depend on job offers for Mr. A and all that fun stuff.

But what would you do? What do you think we should do? Do we move and settle immediately? Or do we try some place completely new? Did you stay put or did you move someplace new?


Filed under Happy little posts, Life After College, Married Life, Things I Love

A little rant

This will probably be a random rant. I completely understand if you stop reading now. I won’t be offended. Come back tomorrow and I’ll be chipper again.


  • I would give anything to have someone else come and do the dishes that are in the sink. When he graduates, we will not settle for an apartment or house that doesn’t have a dishwasher. I may be working on becoming more domestic, but I don’t like spending at least an hour of everyday washing the same dishes over and over.


  • College students: Learn to drive. Seriously. When at a four way stop, you TAKE TURNS. And if the person next you was there first, they get to go before you. Just because you roll a stop sign doesn’t mean it’s your turn and doesn’t mean I am going to be happy when you nearly t-bone me EVERY time I go through the intersection by my apartment. Get off the phone, pay attention, and go back to driving school.


  • Note to husband/law school friends: I no longer want to hang out with your law school friends. I’m sure they’re great people and I’m glad you like them, but I can’t do it anymore. I DO understand that law school is completely time consuming and it also takes up most of your thoughts and your brain power. I live with a 1L. I get it. But can’t we go out and you not make jokes about whatever “funny” law school term you learned this week? And once, it’s funny. The 20th time in an hour? No longer funny. Also, quit asking me every time you see me if I found a job. I haven’t. And if I had, my husband, who is counting on me to pay bills and buy food, would have told you that I found a job. Especially since you guys spend about 20+ hours a week together. It’s a touchy subject and I don’t like being reminded of it when I’m out drinking and trying to enjoy myself. And no, I can’t go back to school right now. Guess what? I can’t afford any more loans. Thanks.


  • I really want to send out a Christmas card this year. It’s our first year being married and not everyone has access to see our wedding pictures. I found an awesome one that doesn’t cost that much, especially when I used a couple promo codes to get the cost down. Husband thinks they cost too much. $35 for personalized cards and matching address labels that on any other site I found that would be at least $100 is not bad. AND it costs less than the trip he wants to take to Utah this Christmas break to go rock climbing with his cousin. Give me the effing $35. It’s not too much to ask.


  • MIL is now mad because we spent all day Saturday with Mr. A’s father and stepmom out on the lake. YOU WERE AT A GOLF TOURNAMENT/GIRL’S WEEKEND. You DON’T have to see him every time he’s within 50 miles of you. And he also needs to spend time with his dad, who he sees drastically less often than he sees you. We never planned on being there all day. We were going for lunch then heading home. But the weather was amazing and they invited us out on the boat for a little bit with all of their marina friends. Then, they were having a fish fry that night, and since we were already there, we figured why not take the whole day off and enjoy it. Also, Mr. A made some networking connections and may have a summer job lining up already. So guess what? It was worth it and I refuse to feel bad about our impromptu lake day.


  • I want a dog. I know we have no business what so ever getting ourselves a big financial commitment. I do. I’m not dumb. Dogs are expensive. But we said we were going to get one this summer and I really want a dog. I’m home by myself all day and I would love a little companion. Also, I have all sorts of time to work on training the puppy. Oh well. This is a losing battle because Mr. A really wants one as well, we just can’t.


  • Anyone find a HUGE bag of money? If so, send our way.


  • I know things will get better. I know this. I’m just bored, which then turns into resentment and anger. I’ve been looking for volunteer opportunities to get out of the house, but that’s also turning out harder than expected as well.


  • So I don’t look like a complete whiny bitch, I’ll end on a happy note. Husband and I were meant to be married. We are better than we have ever been. I can’t pinpoint it, but there is definitely something different now that we’re married, and it’s more than the piece of paper we signed. We talked about this the other day and we are just a couple meant for this. We still have our rough days or times when I wish I could go away for a couple hours, but overall, we are a great married couple. I do love him with all of my heart. Times aren’t easy right now, but he has been more supportive than I ever would have imagined.

I’ll go make my derby pie, eat some chocolate, and I’ll be back to my positive self in no time. After some wine, of course.


Filed under Freak Out Much?, Life After College, Life in Law School (even if I'm not in it), Useless

Puppy Love

I love puppies. Love them. Any puppy is too cute for words and I just want to roll on the ground and play with them all day.

Petsmart has pet adoptions most weekend. I’m the girl who, if we’re by one, we go look at all the puppies that need adopting and I whine to my husband about how cute they are and how sweet they would be in our house.

I mean, kittens are cute, but since I’ve been deathly allergic to cats my entire life, I’m a little biased. Also, cats think they own you. Dogs love you forever.

puppy 1 

Look at those wrinkles!

puppy 2

Look at the ups on that pup. The air! The breeze in the fur! The freedom!

puppy 3

They just want you to come and play with them. They wonder why you keep running off to the terrible world of “work”.

puppy 4

They are probably up to no good, but they will cock their head to the side and you will forgive them for chewing up your Christian Louboutin shoes.

puppy 5

Don’t you just want to cuddle them and roll on the ground with them? Because I do.

See? They’re precious. I kept showing cute puppy pictures to the husband.

So, basically, I want a puppy. In the worst kind of way.

It’s probably my way of keeping my uterus at bay while Mr. A finishes law school. (And the fact that our close friends just had their baby yesterday, we have cousins on each side who just had absolutely precious babies or are about to.)

We originally thought we might have bought a puppy this summer. But then we couldn’t find an apartment and I didn’t get a job right away.

Obviously we put it off. I thought by now I would have a job, but I don’t, so it further puts off getting a dog.

Mr. A and I even have the breed of dogs picked out and what their names will be. Yes, we want two. We’ll start with one, depending on finances and living situations, and then get the other. And yes, I’m THAT lame and already have this planned out. Read: lots of free time.

The first dog will be a black Scottish terrier.

scooter 1

Those ears get me every time.

The Scottie will be names Scooter. Not original, but we both love the name and it’s the one we’ve stuck with.

scooter 2

Even as adults they look like playful puppies.

scooter 3

This must be the most fun household ever.

Terriers are very smart, which can have its drawbacks, but I like a dog with a personality.

The second breed of dog is an Airedale.

rudy 1

Look at those paws!

rudy 3

The funny thing is, I’m actually afraid of dogs. At least, dogs I don’t know and big ones. And by big, I mean bigger than puppies. I was attacked by a dog when I was 3, and while I don’t remember it very well, it has stuck with me. A stray dog? I’m not going anywhere near it. So we’ve decided to get both dogs when they are puppies and then I will get comfortable around them as they get bigger. Also, they will be my dog, so hopefully I won’t be scared of them.

Also, I don’t want a guard dog, per se, but I would like a dog that takes some protection over its family. It should be nice to guests we have over, but if someone breaks in, I don’t want it to just sit a watch. At least scare the criminal away. And terriers can become naturally protective, so I like that quality.

rudy 2

Her name will be Rudy. I know. Rudy tends to be a boys name, but for some reason we love it for our girl dog. We’ve also decided that she will be the more rambunctious of the two dogs. No idea why.

rudy 4

I just think they look like teddy bears.


So these will be our babies for a while, whenever we are able to get them. I’m thinking March, as long as I can find a decent job by then. Also, March is my birthday month and I want nothing more than a little black Scottie with a massive red bow tied around his neck as a present. I want to help pick him out, but I’ve always had dreams of being given a dog in that fashion. Lady and the Tramp ruined me.


So are my readers dog or cat people? What kind do you have? If you don’t have one yet, are there any certain types you just love?


Filed under Happy little posts, Home Sweet Home, Normal Family?