Scrooge

I actually feel more like Two-Face from Batman. Or maybe just a bi-polar, pmsing, drama queen.

Whatever the cause or fictional character I’m acting like, I’m not really into the Christmas spirit. Part of me wants to go buy or first Christmas tree. A small, real tree and decorate it with lights and pick an ornament color scheme and also a nice “First Christmas” ornament. We’ll drink coffee with Kahlua and enjoy the time. I want to find stockings to hang on our book shelves and sneak in small, silly little gifts for him to open. I want to find the perfect gifts that will make people light up when they open it, knowing I took the time, thought of them, and wanted them to be happy with their gifts.

But then days like today happen.

Today happens and I want to skip to next May and ignore all this holiday business. Today and the thought of putting up and decorating a tree exhausts me. The thought of stepping foot into a store and trying to guess what might make someone happy kind of makes my skin crawl.

See? Two-Face.

Strangely, I had a fantastic day at work. I won the drawing since I met my sales goal on Sunday and won $25 in store money. I was at 310% of my sales goal, which is unreal. I sold quite a bit of pre-sale, which might mean I wouldn’t have to work on Christmas Eve. I signed up a credit card, which meets my goals and earns me more store money. I had some good customers and I got some recognition from my boss for my hard work. I also feel like I got some info that means they will keep me after the holidays, which relieves some of the stress that I’ll be jobless again.

But then I came home.

And really, nothing in particular happened. Dishes were in the sink. And while I could have done them, I’ve been busy and stressed and after some of the work days, I couldn’t physically stand at the sink to wash them. I got irked because I think Mr. A should have done them at some point. He may have finals coming up, but he had plenty of free time also. Whatev. We both should have gotten off our butts and done it. Fine. I bought the wrong garlic bread at the store. Not normally a huge deal, but it made me want to throw or kick something. The cookies I made last night stuck to the cookie sheet, so when I tried to get them off, every single one of them crumbled which then made me want to just throw the whole cookie sheet away because the thought of having to scrub it makes me furious.

And thinking about Christmas is making me nauseous and mad and frustrated.

You see, my dad’s side has decided that we will draw names this year and play the dirty Santa game. $25 limit for the game. And when I asked about the drawing of names? $100. WHAT THE FUCK????????????

I was worried that it would be $50. $100. And in case you have yet to put it together, that really means $200 for us. Same bank account and one, minimum wage paying, part-time pay check.  Still aren’t seeing the problem? Mr. A didn’t take the extra loan money because it would have a higher interest rate and be the last to pay off and would be ridiculously expensive, so we didn’t want to take it unless absolutely necessary. We’re waiting for the spring loan money. Which we will get in January. January rent is due the 1st. Before the loan check. Along with all the other bills we have. And everyday expenses. And I’m refusing to ask my parents for money. I already don’t pay my car insurance, health insurance, or half my cell phone bill. Maybe if I couldn’t afford everything, maybe I should have waited to get married, lived at home, and been a hermit so I wasn’t being such a burden on the parents.

And guess what? That’s $200 on top of what I had already gotten for my parents because I stumbled upon things ar great prices and would be perfect for them. Husband and I? Not exchanging gifts. I still need to get something for his parents. And then two more silly gifts for the dumb game. So for Christmas Eve alone- $250. For people with real jobs, that may not be a big deal. For us? It makes me wonder if we will be able to afford rent, electric, water, internet (which yes, is a necessity for law school), gas, groceries, and fuck it all to hell if either of us gets sick. Oh wait, I forgot. Both of us are on daily medicines. And my bc is about to run out, so that will be $50. And my migraine meds require me to go to a doctor this week to get another prescription.

And no, I can’t say that we will opt out. Weird, but my family might love me, but they won’t be understanding of this. My mom would be, but not my dad’s side. My aunt is already pissy that I probably won’t be able to be there until 8pm, even though my brother often couldn’t get there until then due to work or needing to go to his girlfriend’s family or whatnot. Me? No one seems to be willing to budge. My dad might understand, but my stepmom and aunt will harass me the whole time, which then makes me want to say forget it and we’ll just go to Mr. A’s side this year, but I’m also being a big baby and not willing to not be at my mom’s for Christmas morning just yet. And no, it makes no sense to go to Mr. A’s for Eve, then my mom’s for the morning because it’s too far to drive. And his family doesn’t really do a big thing on Christmas Eve. Gahhhhh

Add on the usual stress and family issues that arise during the holidays, and I’d really be okay with skipping them this year. Which really kind of depresses me, since you know, it IS my first Christmas as a married couple and it’s already sucking.

But, I will be excited as I see pictures of everyone’s decorations and hearing about all the fun plans. I’ll just be patiently waiting for January.

Holiday Recap

These past few days have just been busy and hectic.

Thanksgiving was a lot of fun, but way too short for me. Since my family does it as a late afternoon thing, and I had to be at work super early the next day, we were only able to stay for a couple of hours. I was actually pretty upset about this since this is the only time I get to see that part of the family. I’m finally old enough that the older cousins, (I’m the youngest grandchild by 7 years) are finally treating me like an adult and not the little girl anymore. And then I had to leave way earlier than I think I have ever left. I missed the family movie and spending time with my cousin’s 6 week old baby.

But, at least I got to see them for a little bit.

My mom and stepdad weren’t able to go, however, because my stepdad’s arthritis flared up so badly in his foot that he couldn’t walk. This is the first year my mom wasn’t at Thanksgiving and this was supposed to be the first time in probably 10 years that all the siblings would have been there. But my mom planned out what she would be shopping for on Black Friday and got together her game plan.

And speaking of Black Friday…

Never again. If I happen to be working retail still next year, I will quit before Black Friday. It was hell.

I got there at 5:30am. Mr. A and I were going to go at 4 to buy a couple things we wanted, but I wasn’t sleeping well and decided to sleep that extra 1.5 hours because I knew it would be a long day. And if I had gone, I would have been at work for 12 straight hours.

We were allowed to wear tennis shoes since it would be a long and busy day. It helped the first 6 hours, but then it just didn’t matter. I was supposed to work a 10.25 hour shift. I ended up working 11.5. For some reason, my boss made my lunch break at 8am and I didn’t get off till 5. If I had been at home on a normal day, I would have eaten breakfast at 8 and then lunch at noon or 1. That day, I had some cold Fazoli’s that work had delivered for us and not another bite of food until 5:30 that night. I ran around all day. I had people that were super crabby and rude. I dealt with some rude coworkers who took over a register, wouldn’t share like we’re supposed to in order to equally distribute sales since we have sales goals to meet everyday. One woman, even if no one was wanting to check out for the moment, stood back there while the rest of us straightened since it looked like a tornado went through the store. It may seem like a small thing, but since I’m holiday and hoping they will keep me so I have a job after January, I need my sales numbers to look as good as possible.

When I got home on Friday, I was nearly in tears because my feet hurt so badly. I have never felt pain like that in my feet before. My MIL had given the husband money and told him to take me out to dinner since she knew I would have a long day, so that was much appreciated and I devoured some delicious Thai food.

Saturday I worked again in the morning, and while it was busy, it was less chaotic and back to the more enjoyable work environment again. After work, I headed to Mr. A’s hometown to see his family for their Thanksgiving. It was a great time and, even better, the new baby that his cousin and his wife adopted from Ethiopia- even cuter in person. And I’m not just saying this because he’s family,  but this baby would be a perfect Baby Gap model. He has the best smile I’ve ever seen and he has the widest range of facial expressions. Also, when he first meets someone, he wants you to get close enough so he can feel your face, so it was sweet when he was touching my face and giggling and smiling. Melted my heart. Husband kept feeling my forehead to make sure my baby fever was in check. HA!

Also was able to hold the 4 week old baby and he was just as calm and content as could be. New babies are the best. Right next to new puppies.

This week has been busy with work and holiday traveling and various things going on. These next few weeks are going to be rough since finals start next week and work schedules, and Christmas shopping and trying to maintain some level of a life. I’m ready for…something. I think I’m ready for this year to be over already. On to the next holiday.

A Little Untraditional

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Thanksgiving will be here tomorrow. Am I the only one who thinks this year just simply flew by? It seems like years ago that I was a college graduate, working as a long term substitute, and planning my very own wedding. Craziness. But here we are.

When most people think of Thanksgiving, , they think of being at Grandma’s, an aunt’s, or even having people over to their house. Smells of turkey, dressing, and pies filling the house. Sitting down at a huge table with lots of relatives and plates piled high with food. Lots of fun family time. Maybe you watch the football games. Maybe you just socialize. Maybe you go to stores at midnight as something fun to do. Whatever it is, there’s a tradition to it.

Well my family has its traditions, but Thanksgiving might be the most untraditional tradition I’ve heard of.

First of all, since before I was born, my parents and brother did Thanksgiving with my mom’s family. Even when I had arrived and before my parents divorced, we still did it with my mom’s side. In 24 years, I have NEVER spent Thanksgiving with my dad’s side. Ever. Thanksgiving is the only time during the year that we get to see everyone from my mom’s side unless there is a wedding or a funeral. And while I got to see a lot of them at our wedding in May, I was so busy and hanging out with friends and my new husband, that I didn’t get to see them as much as I wanted to. So I’m so very excited. And as I said in yesterday’s post, there are new babies to play with and cuddle.

I should also mention that my mother is the youngest of 7. Her oldest brother is 20 years older and she has a nephew that is older than her. I have a second cousin that is only a couple years younger than my mom and much more like an aunt than a cousin. Needless to say, we have a HUGE family. Probably 50-75 people, if not more. Which means no one has a house big enough for everyone.

So what do we do?

We rent out most of a floor of a hotel in my mom’s and her siblings’ hometown. We get the same suite every year that has plenty of room to set up food tables and it’s more of a potluck type meal. Everyone brings something and there are tons of snacks and desserts and delicious foods.

Even better? We don’t have traditional Thanksgiving food. Sure, someone brings some turkey, and usually there is some version of dressing and some sweet potato dish. My mom makes pumpkin pie, and beyond that, who knows! One aunt makes some delicious Italian beef. Someone usually brings a lasagna or a baked spaghetti dish. Pasta salads, casseroles, Texas potatoes, spicy queso dip, and just about anything and everything has made an appearance at one point or another over the years. The first time I brought Mr. A with me, he was so excited that there was lasagna. Ever since, he always asks if it will be there or not. I think he likes that it’s some different foods so he doesn’t get burnt out on the usual suspects.

And to add to the traditions, a lot of the cousins go to a movie that night, since our events usually don’t start till 4pm. This might not seem like a big deal, but when I was growing up, you had to be a certain age in order to go. It wasn’t for the kids and I couldn’t wait till I was old enough to go. And since I am 7 years younger than my brother, and he was one of the younger ones in the group, it took a long time to get to go. I probably went to my first one when I was 15 or 16. This tradition continues today, however, most of the cousins now have kids. A couple years ago they decided that some of the kids could go. And as expected, it was terrible. I mean, most of my cousins are in their 30s or 40s and seeing a kids movie and having to keep track of the kids was annoying. I was also irked because I had to wait 15 years to go. There was never an option of me going before then. But luckily, it went terribly and we’re back to no more kids.

Which means we pick movies that are usually at least PG-13 and the parents get to leave their kids with the grandparents and aunts for a while and get to relax. My husband also loves this tradition. He really likes my cousins and thinks this is such a great time. Except this year, I don’t get to go. I have a stupidly early shift on Friday at work, and I will need to get back so I can sleep before the work day from hell begins. But I can’t wait to go and to see everyone.

And no, I didn’t leave out Mr. A’s family. They do things a little untraditionally as well. Since so many of the aunts and uncles have grandkids and people have multiple families because of in-laws and such, they don’t do the holidays on the actual holiday. So their Thanksgiving is on Saturday. Luckily, I’m working the morning shift, so I can go and I should only be about 30 minutes late. And more new babies!!! Can you tell I’m excited about this? We’re then going to stay the night at my MIL’s house. I have to work again Sunday, but not until the afternoon, so he will get some time at home.

I hope you all enjoy this holiday season. What are you and your family doing? Are you a traditionalist or does turkey never touch your table? (I don’t even like turkey so I’d be okay with not having it. Blasphemous, I know.)

Thankful

I know everyone is writing about what they’re thankful for. I wish I did this more during the year and not just in November when the cold sets in and families attempt to put aside their differences for one day in order to celebrate the holidays. Maybe the cold cools our tempers and anger. Maybe we’re all a little idealistic about these perfect holiday gatherings full of laughter and cheer and frivolity.

Thanksgiving has always been a great holiday for me. It’s big brother in December is another story, but I’m trying to get through one at a time before worrying about something that’s still over a month away.

But this year has been a doozy.

I graduated last December. So this is the first year since I was 5 years old that I couldn’t call myself a student. I did graduate with honors and a respectable GPA from a respectable school for my degree field. And while I wrote that I will never give them money, I do owe a lot to that small town. So, I’m thankful that I fell in love with their pretty March weather when I visited on my  17th birthday my junior year of high school. The warm breeze. The pretty flowers. The first taste of what having a little freedom from my parents might be like. For their cute southern accents that just made everyone seem nicer and more genuine.

Wedding planning kicked in high gear at the beginning of this year. Even though I had been engaged over a year at this point, and most of the actual decisions had been made about place, dress, flowers, invitations, and the like, there was still a lot of work that needed to be done. My mom drove me nuts, but she was truly fantastic through everything and did a truly amazing job. I can’t take too much credit for our amazing wedding. My mom did most of the work. I just dated a sweet southern boy who decided I was someone special enough that he wanted to wake up next to me every day. I’m so thankful and grateful and appreciative of the sacrifices my mom made for our special day. I know I wasn’t demanding huge and extravagant by any means, but she went above and beyond to make sure our day would be looked back upon with joy and smiles. She does more for me than anyone else and, as I’ve gotten older, I can call her a friend and not just my mom. This is still one of my favorite pictures from the wedding.

And I know she wasn’t sad. I know she was, and still is, incredibly happy for us. She was probably a little relieved to be done planning anything. Even though I know she doesn’t read this, and I really don’t want my family to find it, I love you Mom.

And along with that wedding came my amazing husband. Granted, it kind of feels like nothing changed since we had been dating 4 years before that day came and we knew quite a bit about the other. And while I will never admit this to my parents, we basically lived together for about 9 months before the wedding. Yes, I had my own apartment and sometimes I stayed there, but I really lived at his place and only went to mine on rare occasions. I don’t really know if I believe in soul mates, but if I did, he’d be mine. And no, we’re not perfect. We fight and bicker and annoy each other, but we love each other with just as much gusto. He may think the oven is a perfectly good storage place for the cookie sheets and that my shoes in the living room is an atrocity, but he also takes care of me when I’m sweet and is my number one supporter and biggest advocate and is ferociously defensive of me. I love him immensely. I am so very thankful that he is in my life and a lot of my success is due to him because I didn’t, and still don’t want to let him down. And those standards are placed upon me, by me. Not him. I just want to be as good as he is.

At this point, I have a job. I have no idea if they will keep me past January 1st or not. I don’t know if I really want them to. I feel if I have a job, I’m going to become complacent and just accept it. And while I’m not judging at all, retail is not what I want for me. I worked too hard and long to work for a manager who may or may not have a high school degree. I’m proud of her, but I want something to challenge me, and not just my feet. Whether that’s teaching or not, I still don’t know. But I need more for me. But, for now, I’m incredibly thankful for this job. I’m thankful to be out of the house. I’m blessed that I like the people I work with and that it keeps me busy. I’m thankful for a paycheck so I can at least buy my family Christmas presents. And I’m thankful for support from my husband to keep looking for other jobs.

And lastly, I’m thankful for you all. I don’t like to talk about it because it feels pathetic, but I don’t have any friends here. Not really. I have Mr. A’s classmates who are super sweet and ask about my job and invite us to tacky Christmas sweater parties and I can hang out with them at gatherings without being attached to my husband’s hip. But they aren’t the true friends I need right now. And my girlfriends from home are great, but they have busy, full-time “grown-up” jobs and lives and boyfriends and such and I don’t feel I can call just to vent or to bitch. And while my blogging friendships have become invaluable, I’m not about to air the little disagreements Mr. A. I don’t want to seem whiny and negative, so I try to write about happy things. I’m not fake. I’m probably more honest in this little corner of the internet than I am with myself at times. But no one likes a negative nancy, including myself, so some things that are going on never make an appearance here. But even so, some of you, I feel incredibly connected to. I feel we could go grab a coffee, a drink, a cupcake and talk and it wouldn’t be awkward. I’ve asked you all for advice. You’ve given support and encouragement. You’ve made me laugh and cry and think. You were there when I was in some dark places as I sat at home and received rejection e-mail, after rejection call, after rejection letter. You told me to keep my head up. And because of you, I kept trying, and finally, something stuck. I am thankful for you. I’m thankful that I haven’t had any trolls on the blog degrading me. Because I may seem like a sarcastic smart ass at times, but I let people’s words affect me. You are wonderful. And I hope, even in some small way, I’ve added to your blogging experience as well. I love reading your stories, trials, joys, achievements, failures, snark, commentary and hilarity. You are all wonderful and thank you for writing and for reading.

I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving with your family and friends. Whether it’s an extravagant affair or just you and your loved one at home, I hope you can find the time to relax and enjoy the day. And if you hate Thanksgiving, it’s only a day. Friday will be here before we know it and we will be headed into Christmas.

Pay Attention

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*********SPOILERS********************SPOILERS*************************

I read this book on the recommendation of the wonderful Mojito Maven. She was talking about great it was and how it made her think and just truly touched her. So instantly I knew I had to read it. Even better, it’s considered a young adult fiction book. And before you scoff that these adults are reading YA books, read this. It can apply to so many people, and even if you don’t know anyone who committed suicide, you can learn lessons from this book about how we affect others, even when we don’t mean to.

The book is told from two points of view. Hannah, through her tapes that she recorded before she committed suicide (the book cover tells you that. I didn’t ruin anything.) and Clay, one of the people on the tapes. This was just such a neat concept. You get to hear Hannah’s stories about the 13 people on the tapes, but you also get Clay’s insights as he’s listening. He adds other information Hannah leaves out and re tells some of stories as he remembers them. Asher really does a fantastic job with this book.

I don’t want to give away everything, but the overall theme is that even small actions, affect other people whether we know it or not. It’s a snowball effect. One minor event can cause a bunch of otherwise seeming unrelated events that just spiral out of control.

Each side of a tape is about a different person and how that person somehow lead to her suicide. Most aren’t obvious, like you might imagine, but rather smaller events that just kept piling up on this girl. Almost every character had done something that hurt Hannah, but also something that they wouldn’t want other people to know about. This is her chance to get it all out there for those listening, but whether the information spreads beyond the 14 people us up to them. If they tell the secrets, then it’s their fault, not hers.

At times I was mad at Hannah. She gave up. Not only did she give up, she, potentially, brought down a lot of other people with her. Yes, some, no, most, completely deserved it and more. But at the same time, she knew she wasn’t going to be around to face them after. But again, I don’t want to call her a coward. I think she honestly believed it was her only choice because her world kept crashing in around her and people kept letting her down. But was this the right course of action? And I thought there were points in the story that she had chances to change what was going on, but she chose to continue on her path of self-destruction. But again, how do I know? And that’s the thing. Like Hannah says in the book, we never truly know what is going on in anyone else’s life or head, other than our own. Even our spouses and closest friends have thoughts and experiences that we know nothing about. So who am I to judge anyone’s decisions because I have no idea what caused those actions.

See, in one paragraph I’ve explored all sorts of angles and I still can’t decide how I feel about. But the book is fascinating and heart wrenching and emotional.

And poor Clay. He always had a crush on Hannah and never really got the chance he should have had with her. But his insight into the events Hannah describes just adds to her story. Her story that people would rather believe rumors than get to know a person. Even Clay admits he believed some of them, even if he didn’t want them to be true.

We all remember high school. Some of you were the popular ones with a million friends and you wouldn’t mind reliving those days. Others, you somehow wonder how you survived. You got picked on or bullied. Or even worse. You were ignored. But either way, everyone can connect and relate to this book. Even if you never experienced the things mentioned, you heard about it or you were hoping no one found out a secret about you. Maybe you’re still hoping no one finds out.

I think this book can be powerful and important for many people on many levels. Sure, it gives high school kids a book that discusses some things that most teachers and parents don’t feel comfortable talking about until it’s too late. It gives teachers a better insight into their students and gives them more of a reason to better pay attention to the warning signs. And with the recent bullying and suicides, just simply look out for the students and do something if you see a student being attacked, whether verbally, physically, or emotionally. And just as human beings, this book truly shows how some small remark or jab at someone can be harmful. And how we’re much more connected than we think.

I really hope you will read it. And when you do, please tell me so we can talk about it. I know I said spoilers, but I also don’t want to give away too much. But I’m dying to know how others feel and what emotions this brought out in them. Go read it and see how your view changes. I promise that it will.

My Brain Is Exploding

I was so very determined not to do just a random post with all sorts of things, but seeing as I haven’t written since like Wednesday, this is what I’ve got. So much has been going on and getting into the swing of things with the new job and I have just been exhausted. My poor feet are about to give up on me and find someone who loves them more.

* So, first of all- the job. Truthfully, it’s been going really well. Yes, 8 hours straight, on my feet, on concrete mean my feet are screaming by the time I get home. I even bought some gel insoles, but they’re so thick that it then makes my shoes not fit right or even feel worse. I’m going to have to figure something out. But other than that, I kind of like it. I’m still having some self-esteem issues when people ask where I work because I still feel kind of like a failure since I have a college degree and work for a manager who never went to college. But, for the time being, it’s going great. My mom said that when I talk to her after work, that my attitude and outlook is a million times better than when I would talk to her after any other job. She said it even sounds like I’m enjoying this more than I did when I was student teaching. And yes, I’ve questioned the teaching, but I don’t want to work in retail as a career. Some people do, but not me. It’s good for now and makes it so I can look for other things while I work. I also like the people I work with, so that helps. I just hope they keep me on after the holidays. I need the job.

Also, I helped catch someone that, we’re pretty sure, was about to steal. Too bad I think they realized we were watching them, because had they stolen and then gotten caught, I would have gotten $140 plus a percentage of the goods they stole. Oh well. Probably better that they didn’t. I also opened my first store credit card today, which got me some in-store money. It has it’s benefits.

*Some of you may have seen this on Twitter, but Friday night we went to go see HP7 after I got off work. I was so excited since I wasn’t able to go to the midnight showing. Yes. I love the HP series so much that I was mad I couldn’t camp out at 6pm for a midnight showing of a movie. Whatever. But then, my head exploded. More specifically, a massive migraine hit. I take a daily pill to keep the migraines away, and then I have a pain pill/lowers blood pressure pill to take when I get one. Usually, if I can catch it right at the very start of one, I can make it go away with a dark and quiet room for an hour. But here I was, at a movie I had been dying to see, at it hits. I took my pill and got some water and was hoping reallllllly hard that it would go away, but it just got worse. It got to the point where I knew I was going to be sick and about to be in tears because of the pain, so I had to leave. I made it only about 45 minutes into it. I tried to make Mr. A stay to finish since we had driven separately, but he’s too nice for that and came home to take care of me.

* But, then my amazing husband, bought us tickets for a Saturday matinee show and it was amazing! I think they did a really great job with it. I was bummed that a couple things got left out, but if they did everything from the book, the movie would be 10 hours long. Which I would still watch, but probably doesn’t have the selling abilities to the mass public. Now I’m just dying for the last part to come out. And you can bet I will be camped out for the midnight showing of that one. Dorky? Yes. But I’m proud of it. haha

*I was going to talk about Thanksgiving, but I have so much to say, that it should probably be it’s own post. But I am so very excited to see all the new babies in the families. I have 2 new ones on my side and Mr. A’s side has 4! Four new, squishy, cuddly, babies to play with. And since there are so many, I might actually get a chance with them because when there’s only one, the grandparents and the aunts seem to hog them all day. Mr. A will just be hoping this keeps my baby wants at bay and doesn’t amplify them. But don’t worry. No babies around here for at least 3 years. A puppy better be coming soon. What are your Thanksgiving plans? Will you be cooking or are you going somewhere?

* We still have to make a decision as to whether or not we’re going to stay in our current apartment or not. We have to decide for next month and it’s stressing me out since I don’t know if I’ll still have this job after the beginning of January or not. Hard to commit to paying anymore when I have no idea what our money situation will be like. So we shall see.

*Finals will seen be upon us. Mr. A is off all of this week, he has class next week, and then two weeks of finals. I think we’re both ready for the 17th to be here already. I know finals is a stressful time, but Mr. A has done so well with his study schedule and outlining all semester and such that I’m hoping it isn’t so terrible. I’m sure he will be at school more and I will need to stock up on books to read quietly, but hopefully it won’t be earth shattering. Some of his classmates should be freaking out since I know some got way behind on reading assignments and some haven’t even started outlining. He’s done excellent with keeping up with everything and working the whole time, so I just hope he does well. Also, he will receive his call of Black Ops as soon as he walks through the door after his last final. And he has been given my blessing to play way to many hours of video games on the couch over Christmas break as long as he still helps with some house chores. I expect him to have a beard to shave before the second semester starts.

* And I need your help. I have not one single idea for Mr. A for Christmas. We’re trying not to spend too much money, but I want to give him something, or do something for him that he’ll really love. I just can’t think of anything to do for him that isn’t lame or that isn’t something I want done for me. And I don’t want to buy him clothes because my mom has gotten him a bunch of stuff for Christmas and I think clothes are boring between he and I. He doesn’t buy me clothes, so I want to get him something better than that. Ideas? What do you and your husband or wife do for each other for Christmas or what are you buying this year?

Phone Phobia

According to Wikipedia, “Telephone phobia (telephonophobia, telephobia) is reluctance or fear of making or taking phone calls, literally, "fear of telephone". Sufferers typically report fear that they would fail to respond appropriately in a telephone conversation, and fear finding nothing to say, which would end in embarrassing silence, stammering, or stuttering. The associated avoidance behavior includes asking others (e.g. relatives at home) to take their phone calls and exclusive use of answering machines. As a result, the sufferers avoid many activities, such as scheduling events or clarifying information.”

Yeah, this is me to a T. And it’s a problem.

Here I am, 23 years old, and I hate making phone calls to anyone except Mr. A and my parents. I love my brother, but he mumbles and has such a deep voice that I can barely tell what he’s saying. I don’t mind talking to my MIL, but I then get awkward with how to get off the phone. And it’s just weird on my part.

But calling the insurance company to find out which doctor’s office I can see now that we’ve moved? My hands start sweating. When I was job searching and maybe had to call about something? Heart would race. Ordering a pizza over the phone if they didn’t have online ordering? I just beg and whine until Mr. A does it. Or, if heaven forbid I’m home alone, I would write out EXACTLY what I wanted so I could just recite it and none of this on-the-spot thinking.

It’s terrible!

Remember my Stranger Danger post? I think it stems from that. I’ve never liked to talk to people I don’t know.

If someone calls and I don’t know the number, I ignore it and let it go to voicemail. Even if it’s someone I do know, but maybe don’t talk to them much or can’t think why they would be calling me, I let it go to voicemail.

This drives my husband absolutely nuts. He gets so mad when I ignore phone calls, especially the ones that I don’t know the number. It would really infuriate him when I was job searching because he said I could be missing a job opportunity. Little did he know, I had thought of this and had written down the phone numbers from the places I applied so I knew the area code and at least the first 3 numbers of the office. Yep. It’s so bad I plan how to ignore phone calls.

I just get all nervous and antsy and I don’t know what to say. And I have a really hard time when it comes to ending the phone call. What to say, how to say it. My friends used to make fun of my because I would always say the exact same thing when getting off the phone, but I don’t even remember what that was.

And then today happened.

About 9 this morning, and yes I was still asleep, I get a phone call from a number I didn’t know. Well, my new nifty phone tells me where the phone number is from. So I had no idea why someone from Seattle, Washington would be calling me. I had already told one telemarketer the day before that I had no interest in picking a degree to pursue sing, you know, I’ve already graduated from college. But she was super nice, quickly took me off the list and told me to have a good day.

Well, I was sleeping, so I ignored it. But then they called again around 1pm, so after yesterday’s successful conversation, i got brave and decided to answer. This was the wrong move on my part.

She starts going on about when I registered for something (I still have no idea what…) and I was entered for a $1,000 spending spree on some website. Also, they would send me free magazine subscriptions for 60 months, and I would just have to pay shipping at like $3.60 a week. She then said something about transferring me to her supervisor and if I could hold. I told her I wasn’t interested, and then she transferred me anyways. So, since I was put on hold, complete with crappy music, I just hung up.

She then called back. So I picked up, and before she could say anything, I told her not to call me about it anymore and thank you, and I hung up.

They then proceeded to call me back 30 times in 2 hours. Every time I just ignored it. The one time I actually hit the ignore button, they immediately called back. So then I just hit the mute button every time they called and ignored it.

I’m sure they thought if they called enough that I would give in. Little did they know who they were messing with. I’m the girl with years of practice in ignoring phone calls. It doesn’t bother me to just make the ringer quit and go about my business. Unfortunately, this has probably just reaffirmed my habit of ignoring unknown phone calls.

See, sometimes quirky little phobias help out in the long run.

Working Girl

The day has finally come. I had my first full day at work!!

Saturday was my first day. I didn’t have to go in until 2, but I still made myself behave at the ball the night before. Nothing worse than first day of work with a hangover while I’m trying to impress people.

It was all a little confusing at first since my manager just told me to come in and I wasn’t on the schedule. And of course she wasn’t there when I arrived, so no one was quite sure where I was supposed to be, when I got off, etc.

The departments I have been hired for are the home store and the kid’s department since they are right next to each other and the departments share sales associates. I assumed I would be in home since that’s what they showed me the other day before training, but they decided to really screw with me on my first day and put me in kids. The department that no one had showed me or introduced me to.

It wasn’t too bad though. I was very nervous the first couple of times I had to ring someone out since not only am I not completely sure about the buttons to push and have to read the screen each time, but also the girl mentoring me that day was standing over me, which just makes me a ball of nerves. It didn’t help that a one-day sale was going on and some things that should have been ringing up as extra percent off, weren’t. I didn’t even know what all we had on the floor and I had to know which items to take extra money off of. Needless to say, I had two people come back and say more should have been taken off. Oh well. It was only two and I now know how to re-do a transaction.

I also had a hilarious mom come in. She seemed a little frantic and I asked how I could help her. She then just started talking super fast about her twin 10 month old boys and how it was their birthday the next day and she needed outfits for them for church and her husband was wanting to get going so she was rushed and blah blah blah. She was talking a million miles a minute.

So I showed her a couple things and she liked them, and was deciding when I told her that everything on that rack was an extra 40% off that day. You would have thought I told her she won the lottery.

She started scooping up everything in their sizes and spent $100 in 10 minutes. It was fairly impressive. Too bad I didn’t have a sales goal seeing as it was my first day.

My feet were killing me, but that was from the heels I wore the night before and the dancing and such I was doing. Luckily I had Sunday and Monday off, so super comfortable shoes and slippers it is.

Strangely, even though i know there will be days that I hate it, I kind of like it. Saturday was constantly busy while I was there, so it made the time go by more quickly. I enjoyed talking with customers and working at the register. And looking at all the adorable baby clothes was fun too. Especially since the Christmas outfits are coming out as well as super soft pajamas and onesies and just adorable things. Too bad I have no one to buy them for. Oh well, more money for fun shoes, clothes, and handbags!

Oh wait. I’m not supposed to spend my entire paycheck at the store? Oh. We shall see how that goes.

I only work Tuesday and Wednesday this week, and then next week I have a ton of hours and a 10 hour shift on Black Friday that starts at 5:45am. I will be asleep as soon as I get home that day. Tuesday is my first, full 8 hour shift, so we shall see if my feet don’t try to detach themselves from me by that night.

Prom for Grownups

So, last night was l@w school pr0m.

I should first say that I had an absolute blast. I have no idea if these things are fun everywhere else, but this was fantastic.

It was held at a winery and the cost of the tickets covered our drinks and some appetizers. Yes. “Free” drinks. And believe me, I got my ticket’s worth of free wine and beer. Also, since Mr. A isn’t currently drinking due to some health issues, his ticket was cheaper. But I’m still cure I drank his portion as well. However, I am a classy grownup that knows my limits. No ridiculous-ness from this girl.

Unfortunately, many of Mr. A’s classmates don’t know this rule. Either they don’t know their limits or they don’t think it’s a problem to get completely schmammered in front of their classmates.

For one, I want to to tell girls what is and is not appropriate to wear. First of all, you have to dress your body type. I’m not stick thin, or even semi-thin, so I’m not squeezing into some size 4 dress and thinking I’m some super hottie. The same goes for girls who are by no means fat, but have a little extra here and there. Also, if you have a large upper section, wear a dress that properly covers them. A little cleavage is totally acceptable. But when you’re on the dance floor, getting down to the Cha-Cha Slide, I shouldn’t see things that only people should see when you’re naked. And this was a problem with more than one girl.

Another girl spent several hundred dollars for her dress just for last night. She was bragging about this. Every other girl I talked to was either using a dress they already had or finding something cheap since it was just for last night. I mean, we joked it was like prom, but the dress was more cocktail dresses. This is also the same girl that wore the horribly atrocious teal, tighter-than-skin skirt to initiation when EVERYONE else was in suits. Needless to say, we were all pretty anxious to see what this was going to look like.

She got jipped. This girl is kind of tall and has some curves. Good curves, but still curves. The dress was soooo super short and tight that we kept thinking she was going to pop out of it all night. I could see things I never wanted to see and Mr. A was so uncomfortable with how much she was showing. Why do grown adults in professional settings dress like they’re walking the streets??

Not only was some of the attire questionable, the complete drunken debauchery happening was unreal. These people had the glazed-over eyes that are usually reserved for college boys at the wee hours of the morning. And the thing shut down at 11:30. You would have thought these people had never touched a drop of alcohol before and didn’t know they would get drunk.

And then it happened.

One of Mr. A’s friends, R, brought a date from home, D. She isn’t a student and doesn’t live here, so she really knew no one but him. She was his date. Now, whether they were just friends and he brought her just to have a date, I don’t know, but that’s besides the point.

By 10:15, this girl was completely plastered. Like, she face-planted in the middle of the bar and could barely stand up. R was pissed and embarrassed I think, so Mr. A offered to drive them back since he had driven and they had ridden on the buss out there. Mr. A said he would take them back and then come to get me and the other couple that rode with us.

Well, D heard about being taken home and she ran away. Yes. You read that correctly. Drunk girl ran away. She was screaming about how mean we all were and how we just wanted her to leave. Which, yes, we did want her to leave, but only because she was falling over and making a fool of herself. We finally caught up with her outside. I had gotten a trash bag from the bar in case she got sick in the car. R was trying to talk her into the car, but she was refusing, so I decided to see what I could do.

I got to her and said, “Hun (mind you I had never met her, didn’t know her, and my first interact was when she fell by my feet…), you are super fun and great, but you are SUPER drunk right now and can’t walk. So we just want to get you home. You will get some bread and some water in you and you will feel great.” (She might feel great Sunday because she surely wasn’t going to be feeling well on Saturday.) She finally agreed with me and I got her over to the car. She then proceeded to fall into the back floorboard of the car. It was basically a clustereff. And apparently on the car ride home she continued to bad mouth R and Mr. A about various things. This of course between her blackouts.

All in all, it made for some pretty funny stories and I had a really good time. Getting all dolled up for the night is always good every once in a while. Can’t wait to hear more stories after Monday.

JC Penny’s: I Hate You

I know. Hate is a strong word. And yes, I got a dress for barrister’s that is cute and was cheap, but JC Penny’s and I have a serious problem after today’s shopping.

So, I went to the mall to do a little shopping. I didn’t go to the store I work at because my employee discount isn’t in effect just yet, and since I still hadn’t heard from them about my schedule, i felt awkward going in there. Also, they cost a little more and I was REALLY trying to not spend much money. I’ve gotten lucky finding cute dresses that fit and such at JCP, so I headed there.

Well, they had a bunch of dresses that were the kind of style I was looking for, so then I got a little worried about picking one. I thought about Tweeting them, but then I would have to wait for responses and people would like different things and I just kind of wanted to try them on and get going with my day.

I called Mr. A and he was just at home between classes and had about 2 hours till class. I asked if he would come up to the store so I would have another opinion than just my own. And since it was for his law school event, he could help decide. And I hope I’m not the only one who likes to hear what others think about their purchases. I’ve always had a hard time picking dresses in particular, so I figured the husband could help.

The dressing room area I was in was tiny. Only 3 rooms, with a short little hallway connecting them. Since the distance was small, Mr. A just stood outside the entryway to the dressing rooms and I would just stand in the little hallway to show him. When I was changing, he would just kind of wander around by the door till I came out with the next.

There came a dress that I couldn’t tell if it wouldn’t zip because it didn’t fit, or if I just couldn’t reach it. It was in an awkward spot on my back, so I needed some help. So, Mr. A came in to just zip up the back of the dress. We were in my little stall, but door was open and I was clothed other than the back open. No one else was in the dressing room and any sales person saw him standing around, so knew he was with me.

Then hell broke loose.

This middle aged woman comes storming into the dressing area, drags Mr. A out by the arm and screaming at him, “You have to get out of here!”

WTF?!?!

I told her that all he was doing was zipping up the back of the dress. She continued to repeat that he couldn’t be in there. I then said, “He’s my husband.” And she just laughed. Like I was lying or something.

She then preceded to try to come into my stall so she could zip the dress. I quickly told her never mind and shut my door. I proceeded to try on the next dress and walked out of the dressing room to show him.

As I moved to the next dress (I seriously had about 20 to try on), I hard the little motion sensor ding (for the 9 millionth time, but didn’t think much about it. As I opened my door, my jaw hit the floor.

The saleswoman had gone and closed the door to the dressing area!!!!! I mean, did she think Mr. A had x-ray vision to see through wooden doors???

Mr. A was already fuming (and I think a little embarrassed) by the first encounter, and then for her to go a shut the door like he was some creeper stalking the dressing rooms? If my husband thought hitting women was acceptable, she would have been knocked to the floor he was so irate.

I was pissed because she made my husband look like a socially awkward guy who tries to sneak peeks at women changing at stores. He had been standing out there the ENTIRE TIME, just like you see all sorts of husbands or boyfriends doing. He wasn’t in the dressing room with me and he wasn’t blocking the little hallway area or trying to peek through cracks in the door.

THEN, apparently, after she shut the door on him, she told him he needed to go wait somewhere else.

WTF again?!?!?!?!?!?

I mean, was I supposed to walk all the way to the linens to show him each dress?!?!

He said he didn’t say anything because if he opened his mouth, he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from saying things that could be counted as verbal assault. And law students don’t need that on their record.

I was so damn mad. Mad doesn’t even describe it. I was offended, irate, pissed, beside myself, and ready to fight. But again, my husband gets very defensive of me, and had I confronted her, he would have stepped in and that would not have ended good for anyone.

And if I hadn’t been on a budget and a time crunch, I wouldn’t have bought the dress there, but I did. I wish I would have thrown all 20 of the dresses on the floor for her to pick up.

Does anyone else find this bizarre? Or am I just nuts? I hope not.