Full Moon?

Today has been a weird one to say the least.

I woke up around 9 (Yes. I have MWF off. I like to sleep, so I slept in. Yes, I live like an undergrad. Might as well while I still can).

About 9:30, my dad called. He told me that he would be in town for work and that he would be free around 4 and wanted to stop by. It was fine with me, but we had laundry everywhere, dishes in the sink, hadn’t dusted in weeks. Last week kicked both of our butts and this weekend did not go as planned, so house hold things got put on the back burner.

So I freaked out because my dad is a bit of a neat freak. His house is usually always in good order and I didn’t want to hear comments about me slacking as a wife or whatever.

I had planned on spending today lesson planning. Instead, I did 5 loads of laundry, scrubbed the kitchen, vacuumed, hand vacuumed the steps, dusted the entire apartment, straightened up the place, folded 5 loads of laundry and put everything away. No idea why, but it did take me all day and our apartment isn’t that big.

But while I was doing all of that, Mr. A had a big important lunch meeting and I was anxiously awaiting his call.

When he did, I wanted to scream from the roof tops out of joy!

Why you ask? Because Mr. A got the internship for the spring!!!

SO MUCH EXCITEMENT.

He will be doing actual attorney things and it can very well lead to a job, or at very leas, a fellowship next summer while waiting on bar exam results and such. And he will be making fantastic connections and I am so effing proud of him. He works so so hard, but hasn’t always had the best of luck with some things panning out, so I couldn’t be happier that this worked out for him and I know it is a HUGE weight off of his shoulders.

He will be living at one of my parents’ houses and I should be able to make my schedule Tues/Thurs so if I want to go go or he comes down, I will have Fri-Mon. Also, he will only be 2 hours away, and knowing how wonderful this opportunity is, I will make the sacrifice for a semester.

So that was amazing, but of course we got some more bad news about his dad, so it was hard to balance being out of my mind excited, but also dealing with that drama.

But then my dad showed up and this was the first time he has seen this apartment, so I am happy that Mr. A and I have been working on making it more of a home for the last year and it doesn’t look completely like a college apartment.

Now, my family is one that doesn’t really talk about finances beyond “You should be saving your money”. I have no clue how much my dad makes or what his financial situation is. I have a rough idea what my mom makes, but not much more than that.

So when my dad started asking us what our student loan situation was, I was a little confused and kind of waiting for a lecture on it all.

But then the conversation quickly turned to how many miles were on my car and all of that. Now, I drive a 12 year old Toyota that has over 230,000 miles on it. Yeah. That’s a lot. It was my mom’s before me and when she gave it to me in 2005, it had roughly 80,000 on it, but I was going to school three hours away and made trips home fairly frequently, so the miles racked up rather quickly. 

Long story short, my stepsister is taking her mom’s car that is a 2012, I’m taking her car that only has like 65,000 miles on it and is a very reliable car, and any money we can get for mine will go towards paying for the car since hers would have some value if they decided to sell it. Eventually, we’ll pay my dad back for the car, but he put off us paying for a little over a year, and should circumstances prevent us from being able to afford it, he said we’d work it out.

I’ll be cleaning out my car tomorrow and hope is to list it by this weekend and hopefully by next week I will have a new car!!! (Or new to me, but anything is better than mine at this point.)

And the other weird part of yesterday?

Remember when I told you guys that Mr. A and I decided to go on a cruise over Christmas break since it will be our last break together?

He gets a text message last night from a good friend (and those of you that know me IRL can easily figure out who this person is, but PLEASE do not say anything about it either to him or on FB because it isn’t being publically announced just yet, but bc of logistical issues, we were told. Again, trusting you folks.). Mr. A then asked me when our cruise was, but wouldn’t tell me why he was asking.

When I told him the date, he got a strange look on his face and then proceeded to tell me that his good friend had set his wedding date for during our cruise.

Not only just set a wedding date, but the wedding will be in India.

I’ll let you soak that in for a minute.

……………

This guy was one of our groomsmen and has been a friend of Mr. A’s for a very long time. So Mr. A needs to go, but we can’t really afford for both of us, just with flights alone. So Mr. A and his other good friend (who were best men for each other’s weddings) are implementing the buddy system. Neither wife is going as a way to save some money. But believe me, Mr. A has been told he needs to be bringing me back some sweet stuff from India.

But what about the cruise?

Well if he gets to go to India, I am surely still going on my cruise. I decided to ask my MIL if she would be interested/would be able to go because she is a lot of fun and I’m sure I could handle being with her for 6 days for a beach filled vacation. She said she would check and last night she sent me a text saying that I had a cruise buddy and that she would be working on passport paperwork this morning.

SO. Yesterday was just bizarre. So many weird, but good things going on and this next year will be a bit of a whirlwind.

Now to just hope and pray and cross fingers and toes that next year we both have jobs and that we aren’t unemployed and living in a box. Because we all know I need my hair straightener and access to twitter. ;o)

Dancing the Liberal Line

So, this might make people mad. Who knows. But I believe people should be able to disagree and be nice about it. And this has been bugging me for a while, so I’m blogging about it. Just like I blog about nearly everything else in my life.

I am in a very liberal department. I think most English/literature departments are probably the same. It comes from looking beyond what is right in front of us to the meanings behind everything. We look for connections and motivations and reasons.

I would also consider myself to be pretty liberal, especially with social issues. I believe in equality for all, not just those that fit into a box that some people feel everyone should fall into. It’s something I’ve always believed and worked hard to demonstrate in my own life.

That being said, I also feel that some people get their panties in a bunch over nothing. Some people feel the need to find an argument or a fight in nothing. Also, people are fully capable of disagreeing about a topic, but still being respectful and considerate. A thoughtful discussion can happen with the understanding that neither party is trying to tell the other that they are wrong or trying to persuade the other to change their opinion. I love discussions like that. Discussing ideas and opinions and ideologies in a respectful manner.

However, in my department, many of my colleagues seem to believe that we should all think and act in the same way.

In my department, I’m a bit of an outlier.

See, I don’t fit the typical liberal master’s student mold.

Many that I am in school with equate liberal with feminist. And in a lot of ways, I agree with many of the feminist ideals. Equality. Reproductive rights. Not being forced into stereotypical social positions simply based on gender.

But I don’t seem to garner the same respect.

I married young, which tends to go against the ideas a lot of my classmates have. A lot of them don’t want to get married or tend to put their nose in the air when they find out that I married at 23.

Also, I want kids. I have always wanted to be a mom at some point. But I believe that I am also in a field that will allow me to be a mom and have a career that I love. As a college professor, I will get a whole lot more freedom in arranging my schedule so that I can still be with and raise my kids.

I also want a house with a yard. I want to be able to paint walls and hang things up and if I screw something up, not being terrified that my landlord is going to be pissed. I won’t be happy that I messed it up, but then I can fix it, or not, because the house will be mine.

For some reason, I’m the odd man out. Last year, I can’t even count the number of times that I was made fun of by “friends” when these topics would come up. I quickly learned that I would not be able to discuss these things with these people without being ridiculed both to my face, and more than likely, behind my back.

However, the most recent barrage of loaded questions and side glances is that of what I’m not doing right now.

I’m not applying for PhD programs.

You see, my husband and I graduate next May. As many of you know, the legal job market isn’t great. A lot of job markets pretty much suck right now, but the legal one seems to really be struggling. So many young people went to law school because they didn’t know what else to do, so there is an influx of lawyers in a job market that was hit just as hard as anyone else.

Because of this, I’m not applying for PhD programs since we have NO CLUE where we will be living next year. We don’t know where Mr. A will be getting a job and how much he will be making or how long it will take us to get settled.

So, I’m making the smart and, in my mind, commonsensical decision to hold off. I don’t want to apply to some school, love it and get my hopes up, to only find out that my husband got a job 3 states over.

I have no problem holding off a year, waiting to see where we will be, then applying for schools in the area. I will get more time to take the GRE and really decide where I want to go. I get to apply for jobs and hopefully get a bit of a break from being a student and just work for once. Only have work responsibilities and not also stressing over papers and such.

But to the super liberals in my department, I am an alien. Also, I apparently don’t care about feminist issues and only wanted an MRS degree since I’m waiting to see where Mr. A’s career takes us.

If I hear one more time, “Well why doesn’t he follow you?” or “Why can’t he find a job where you get into a PhD program?” I might scream.

Had I been in a program that say only 5 schools in the country had, then Mr. A would be all about looking for jobs in those places.

Because we support each other 100%.

But I’m not. Most big or decent size schools have my program. Possibly even close schools would allow me to do it via the internet. So I’m waiting.

I don’t even like to call it compromising because I don’t feel that I am giving up a thing. This is what I want. I’m in a very supportive marriage. My husband was the one pushing me to do this and will do what he has to in order to make sure that I get to finish out my program, like I want to.

Just because I’m not immediately moving from my master’s into my PhD, doesn’t mean that I’ve reverted to a 1950s housewife that cleans in pearls and has dinner on the table at 6pm every night and is satisfied with a slap on the ass as my thank you.

That’s not me. That’s not the woman Mr. A married and it’s not at all the wife he wants. He likes that I have career ambitions and am educated and am not satisfied yet, that I’m striving for more.

I just hate that apparently I can’t have a career and thoughts AND a family. Why do those have to be separate things? Why can’t I have both without feeling like I am on the defensive all the time? Why can’t I give them a hard time for moving straight into the next program, for sleeping around, for never wanting to own a property because “it’s so much easier for someone else to be responsible for it”, for never wanting kids?

That’s right. Because I am a believer in each person doing what is right for them. One of my good friends never wants kids, so maybe I don’t send her pictures of cute/funny kid things I find, but she also jokes about kidnapping me for girls’ nights once I do have a baby. I know she will be happy for us, but I also won’t try to push my ideas about motherhood on her. To be honest, I will be happy to have a friend that doesn’t want to talk about breastfeeding and poopy diapers.

I just want some mutual respect for my life decisions. I’m not out doing heroine or stealing things or hurting others. I’m following my dreams, and those dreams comingle a career and a family life.

Sorry for the rant. I’m just so aggravated with all of this right now and I just want to feel like I’m doing the right thing. I KNOW I am. But I hate feeling like I have to defend it or that I’m being talked about since I’m not out at the bars 4 nights a week.

Brain Dump

I was going to write this long post about the first week of teaching and all that, but then I have turned into some super emotional dork today and can’t seem to focus on one subject, so here is a little bit of everything.

* I know I’ve discussed it, and I know my friend it perfectly fine with it, but I am still SUPER upset that I can’t be at my BFF’s wedding tomorrow. Like, could make me cry.

* So I of course sent her a super sappy text message this morning. She’s going to think I’m nuts. But hopefully she and her new husband will enjoy the flowers I have ordered to be put in their honeymoon suite tomorrow night.

* The wedding I WILL be at this weekend…eh.

* I don’t know anyone except people in the wedding party, so I get to sit by myself at the ceremony and then be at a table with people I don’t know for the reception. I’m realizing more and more how un-needed I was for this weekend and should have gone to my friend’s wedding.

* BUT G was our best man and is like a brother so I didn’t really have a choice. Stupid grown up decisions…

* BUT, BUT: did you hear?? The groomsmen’s tuxes have RUFFLED SHIRTS. GUYS. RUFFLES. And it’s not 1970. This hilarity of this might make this weekend worthwhile.

* And yes, I WILL have pictures of this and I will just crop out Mr. A’s head.

* Also, there should be super amazing food and drinks. And for the guests, that’s really what weddings are about, right?!

* So, first week of teaching has gone well. I love teaching juniors and seniors. They actually try and don’t want to fail. They also will answer questions and think about things. It’s wonderful.

* Their first assignment is to analyze a political cartoon and I am getting some awesome cartoons in since they had to get them approved. I think these papers are going to be awesome. (Or, at least I hope so…)

* If our secretary doesn’t get off her power trip, I might lose it. The end.

* I didn’t realize until last night, but my dress for tonight’s rehearsal dinner and my dress for the wedding tomorrow are both dark blue. This is what happens when I can’t wear the pretty cream dresses I found since, you know, I’m not the bride and I know I would have been a little miffed it someone wore cream/white/ivory to any of my events.

* I want a puppy. In a bad way. I can’t stop looking at adoption sites. They are so adorable.

* Also, it hit me this week that Mr. A will be applying for his first choice of job type in the next two months. And the selection boards are in October. We might know whether he gets this certain type of job by the end of the year. IN LIKE 6 MONTHS!!!! Craziness. I just hope it all works out.

* I might need some meds to get me through the next 6 months because I am a super planner, but I also get my hopes up and if it doesn’t work, then we are back in limbo and looking for firm or other types of jobs and then I’ll be even more stressed since I won’t have a freaking clue where we will be living.

* Yeah…I will probably have a lot to blog/vent/rant about in the next year. Get ready. My 4 weeks of calm summer vacation are over and now all the shiza is about to hit the fan.

 

OKay. I’ve obviously had a lot of coffee since I wrote this in about 15 minutes. Have a wonderful weekend and I’ll keep you updated on those ruffled shirt pictures. ;o)

I Shouldn’t be in Charge

I love to plan events. Love it. Granted, the biggest event of my life so far I didn’t have much to do with since I was living out of state and finishing school.

But besides that, planning is fun for me. Whether it be birthday surprises or holidays or weekend getaways, I could spend hours working on and deciding all the details. It’s probably why I always go over board on Mr. A’s gifts.

So our wedding anniversary was no different.

Last year, we thought it would be fun to sort of recreate our wedding weekend. We stayed in the same hotel that we did on our wedding night and went to a Cards game the next day. Since our wedding was on the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, we had invited guests that wanted to go to the baseball game on Monday as another way to spend time with people that traveled to visit us and share in our special day.

However, our first anniversary didn’t go as planned.

While the hotel was amazing (one of my top two hotels in STL- if you need recommendations, let me know!), I made a HUGE mistake.

Since I was still working retail last year, while I wanted to do something special for our first anniversary, we were also trying to save money where possible. Groupon came to the rescue since it was offering some awesome deals on pretty good seats for Memorial Day weekend. I bought two and had even sent in for us to be on the message board.

When we walked up to the gate, the tickets wouldn’t scan. I was perturbed since I had printed tickets before without issue, so I figured it was something with their machine. Until the woman took a closer look and informed me that they were for the following day.

I had bought tickets for the wrong day’s game!

Cue instant tears. I was embarrassed since we were holding up the line of people getting into the game and I had made a big to do about planning our anniversary and had screwed it up.

Now, my husband doesn’t always have the largest reserve of patience, but when it comes to me and if I make a mistake or something, he is the most calm and understanding human on the planet. I love that man.

We then approached a scalper and bought overpriced, crappy seats since we had planned on going to the game. He swore he was happy being at the game with me and sweating profusely in the summer sun.

Well, this year was no different.

We were trying to be more low key since Mr. A had just returned from a 6 day bachelor party in Vegas. We have a lot of travelling going on this summer, so to be able to stay in our own house meant something to us.

I planned the day where we would spend the afternoon at the winery and then come home to get ready for a nice dinner. I had made reservations online for a new and very nice restaurant in our area and was excited to go try it out. I had even already picked what I was going to order from their menu and which signature cocktails I wanted to try.

Well, the restaurant is part of of a brand new winery, but they have several different buildings/locations on their extremely expansive property, so we stopped at the front building to ask where the restaurant was. I got a little nervous since the woman working said that the restaurant wasn’t typically open on Wednesdays. I knew I had made reservations for the correct date since I remembered checking it several times.

I was nervous, but once the restaurant was in view, we saw quite a few cars and I figured that maybe they had new summer hours and the woman had been mistaken.

So we walked up to the host and gave our names and he then asked “Are you here for the wine dinner?”

Mr. A and I both must have had confused looks on our faces so the man explained that on the last Wednesday of every month they did a wine around the world event, which included 7 courses and 7 wines. For a pretty hefty price per person. NO WHERE did the reservation site say anything about that and from the man’s response, we were not the first ones to run into this problem. Apparently their online program didn’t differentiate a special event and didn’t inform us about it.

He said we were welcome to join, but that the normal menu wasn’t available and they were just serving for the event.

We stepped aside to discuss and decided that had we planned on the very high expense, it would have been one thing, but we didn’t and decided not to do the event.

Again, cue the tears welling my eyes, since I had, yet again, screwed up our anniversary plans. Again, Mr. A was incredibly reassuring and commented several times how it wasn’t my fault, but theirs and I couldn’t have known. While trying to determine what to do, we went over to the new bar they had. It served drinks and a few small appetizers.

Well, it turned out even better than planned since the place was phenomenal. The drinks were superb and we are now looking into how much it would be to have some reserved tables for after graduation next year. We spend two hours there drinking very unique and delicious drinks and talking with the bartender/manager and hearing about all the new things that are planned for the estate.

We finally left and went to a little restaurant that Mr. A hadn’t been to yet. Dinner was delicious and we had a great time just talking and spending time together. We came home to enjoy the specialty tiramisu cake I had ordered for us and we watched a movie and sipped champagne.

While both anniversaries turned out just fine, and it does make for some interesting stories, next year, either Mr. A plans it or I’m making him check over the details 20 times beforehand. I would like just one anniversary to follow my plans. Is that too much to ask for?

2 Years Later

A letter to my husband on our two year anniversary

Mr. A,

Today, we have been married for two years. For two, wonderful, stressful, fun, challenging, and exciting years.

This second year of marriage has been our best, by far. Our first year was wrought with challenges we never anticipated and we struggled to support each other at the same time we were each facing our own difficulties that we didn’t know how to deal with. You were in your first year of law school, in a new city, without knowing anyone, all the while having to deal with me. The girl freaking out over unemployment, then underemployment. You battled some health issues and I tried not to lose my ever loving mind. We didn’t like our new city and we hadn’t made good friends yet. We questioned our decision and wondered “what if?”.

But we made it.

And this year was wonderful. You were more confident in yourself and knew that this is where you were supposed to be. I started grad school and an assistantship that allowed me to teach at the college level. We moved to a much more awesome apartment and we could finally enjoy being married and explored our new, albeit tiny, city. There isn’t a ton to do here, but we’ve been trying to make the best of it.

We became “parents” this year. Our very precious furbaby has been wonderful for us and we have learned that is possible to love something with the whole of our hearts. She may just be a kitten, but she is preparing us for those future real children. I love when she curls up in your lap and you both take a nap. It is just incredibly cute and I get all emotional and imagine you napping with your future kids.

Next year at this time, we will both be graduated and life will be moving at a million miles an hour. You will be done with school, but prepping for the bar. I will be done with my master’s and, hopefully, I will be looking for jobs in wherever our new city is. We will be packing and moving and starting our “grown up” lives. Next year, for our third anniversary, life will be a blur and we will be trying to figure everything out.

So this year is a special one. We can enjoy where we are and look forward to where our life is headed. Soon there will be a house and kids and jobs and while I know we will continue to love and learn from each other, but we will have to work a little harder to relax and find the time to remember how far we have come. I want to make sure to remember these early moments. These moments where we can lounge on the couch and just laugh at silly episodes of shows. I love our impromptu date nights for dinner and ice cream. I love when we grab coffee and wander Lowes, talking about what we would love to have in our future house, picking out appliances and paint colors.

I truly love our life right now. And I love you more than a little letter can express. But I wanted to find a way to tell you how much you mean to me. I know we’re enjoying our winery day and I look forward to many more anniversaries with you. Hopefully we always find time to celebrate this special day, even if it’s just a card left on a pillow or a glass of wine together.

Happy anniversary honey. Cheers to us.

Breatheeee

I feel awful since this is now roughly the THIRD time I’ve had to take a blogging break.

I guess I feel bad because I really do love this hobby and have met some amazing people, but this last semester has kicked my ass.

I simply didn’t have time.

Yes, I had time to sit and watch tv. But when that rare opportunity occurred, the thought of having to type anything else out just wasn’t appealing, even though I missed all of you so very much.

BUT.

In case you don’t follow me on Twitter, I’m finished with my first year of grad school!!!!!

I am so freaking excited about this fact. I mean, a year ago I was working retail in a job I hated, which in turn, made me hate myself even though I was doing the “adult” thing by working to support my family.

A year later, I’ve finished my first year of grad school with (hoping!!) all A’s. (Waiting on the last grade to come in…I’ve checked it about a million times since Wednesday). I’m done with my first year of teaching college students, and while I sure had a rocky road, I’ve learned so so so much and I love where I am right now with my career.

And yes, it’s my career.

I’ve always wanted to teach at the college level. Always. I just thought that i would have to teach high school for a while first. But God had different plans and I’ve never been happier.

Yes, this year, specifically this semester, was hard.

I doubted myself constantly, thinking that maybe I wasn’t smart/good/talented/worthy enough for this opportunity. I still think that at times, but I’ve learned that I am as good as the other people in my program. I have worked HARD for this position and I will cherish every moment I have.

Do I complain about obnoxious students? Yes. Do I whine about papers and lack of sleep? Yes. And I am trying to work on that since I know I am blessed/lucky beyond belief to have this chance, but I am human and I do take things for granted. That being said, I am constantly in awe of this. Constantly. This whole thing was a fluke, but a fluke that I know was meant for me and I was in the right place at the right time.

Strangely enough, had it not been for the job I hated and happening to pick up an extra shift for a little extra money one day, I would not be here. A girl at work and I were talking about grad school and she is the one that informed me that this school had so many assistantship opportunities.

Funny how things work out…

And for those of you that have been here since then, none of this is new. But I feel like I need to make sure to give credit where it’s due and remind myself how lucky I am. So I do it here.

Mr. A and I are thoroughly enjoying this down time. We both have 4 weeks off until summer classes/teaching start and we plan on regaining our sanity. The last month of the semester was insane. Words can’t even describe it. One week, I had 6 nights in a row that I was in my office until after midnight. Mr. A and I rarely saw each other and we were testy and short with each other. Unfortunately, me more than him.

I had panic attacks and sobbing sessions. I freaked out and considered quitting. But I didn’t and I am so happy I didn’t.

Last week, I sat down with my thesis director so we could “road map” my thesis since I plan on starting it this summer. Strangely enough, I’m way ahead of the game and looks like I will have, roughly, a 120 page thesis that isn’t scaring the crap out of me. I am so incredibly excited about topic and my project that 120 pages seems completely doable, and even more so, enjoyable.

But, enough about school since I know all of us in school in some capacity is ready to avoid the subject for a bit.

Today, we DEEP cleaned the apartment since we both let it get completely out of hand the last month of school. Now, I hate cleaning. I am not domestic and chores might be my least favorite thing. However, having a very clean apartment sure was nice tonight.

Scout, however, hated it.

She doesn’t like change, and the amount of moving things around and loud noises that were happening, she was not happy with us. She spent most of the day hiding under the bed, which she hasn’t done since we first brought her home. However, once Mr. A left to help a friend move and I was just folding laundry, I lured her out with some treats and she napped in her chair.

Bonus of Mr. A helping someone move? The guy is moving to California, so can’t take too much with him, so he offered his awesome entertainment center with tv mount to us. It looks a million times better than the one we had before, especially since we had broken one leg when we, after a few drinks, decided to rearrange our living room. The tv stand was simply set on top of the broken leg, so a bump in the right spot would have sent everything flying. Needless to say, this is a HUGE upgrade. It even fits in the space better. Win win.

Tomorrow, a friend and I are having a late lunch and then getting pedicures. Mr. A leaves on Tuesday to go to Mville to see his mom and dad, and then he and his friends leave on Wednesday for a Vegas bachelor party. They won’t get back until midnight on Sunday, which means Mr. A won’t be home until roughly 4am on Monday. Mr. A is the best man, so this has been all his planning, so I’m happy for him to have a chance to relax and hang out with friends without school hanging over his head. They have bottle service at one of the most exclusive clubs and tickets to an amazing show. I tried to get them to go to Club Rehab on Sunday, but they weren’t sure it was worth the money since they would have to leave early to catch their flight home. Can you tell I’m SUPER jealous? I tried to get them to let me fly out with them, stay in a separate room and just lounge by the pool the whole time. For some reason, Mr. A just wouldn’t agree to that…

No worries thought. My MIL and I are going to have a girl’s weekend involving the restaurants in Mville that I miss, drinks, gossip, and time tanning on the deck. I think I still make it out okay.  ;o)

So that’s where we are as of right now. Did I leave anything out? How are all of YOU??? What do I need to catch up on??

Busy Bee

Apparently I should get one a blogging schedule BEFORE the semester starts, not in the middle of it.

So, Orlando was fun. I was sick for a lot of it due to my massive sinus issues prior to the flight, which then made it nearly impossible for my ears to pop like they should so I was just off and blech for most of it.

BUT, I did enjoy myself and learned a lot. It was great to see some presentations before I have to present my own in a week. (YIKES)

This semester has been kicking my booty. Between the insane amounts of work for my own classes and trying not to suck at teaching, I am feeling pretty overwhelmed. To the point that I don’t do anything because I don’t know where to start. It’s a vicious cycle.

However, I have ALL of my paper topics for the remaining 4 papers that I have to write this semester, so that’s a huge load off my shoulders. Sounds goofy, but now that I know what I’m writing about, I think about the topics, work out the arguments in my head and it makes it easier when I sit down and write the damn things. I have a weird writing process. Looks weird to others and probably wouldn’t work for anyone else, but it works for me and has been paying off, at least so far. (Fingers crossed it continues until I can work out a better, less spastic method)

Mr. A is hitting his own rough spot of the semester. Happens every semester, at least has so far. He’s getting a little better at dealing with it, but it is stressful. Unfortunately, unlike the previous three semesters, I’m not able to be the cheery ray of sunshine that I usually was in order to cheer him up. I’m so stressed and frazzled myself, that I haven’t been as helpful as usual. I know he understands, but I do feel bad.

School…is…well, school itself it good. Some social drama has been a bit distracting, but working on moving beyond it and not letting high school drama get in the way of what I need to do. Next week will be a little awkward, but nothing I can’t handle and going to make the best of it.

In other big exciting news, I got one of the few and competitive summer teaching positions. I’m not trying to brag- mostly I feel like God was watching over and knew what was best. SO much off of my shoulders to know I will have a paycheck.

Even better?? Mr. A and I will finally be in the same place for the first summer since we’ve been married. Our first two summers of marriage have been spent in different places and adjusting to new things on our own. It will be nice to both be working and taking a class, in the same city. Lots of trips to go canoeing on the lake and studying at the winery, because that’s what grad students do that don’t want to live in a library. It will be amazing.

Can you all believe that I will be done with my first year of grad school in a month?! Because I can’t.

I remember crying when I got my acceptance letter. I remember  when Mr. A got a raise at his summer job, on a Friday, and he told me I could turn in my two weeks notice at the awful retail store an entire month early. I remember spending hours picking out my outfit for the first day of training for teaching college students. I remember walking into my first grad class and being scared to death that I couldn’t do this. I also have the first grad paper that I got an A on with some of the most supportive commentary I’ve ever received.

And here I am, planning my thesis and graduation and realizing that in a year, we will be moving and finding/starting new jobs. I will have a Master’s hood. You will all have to call me Master NewTeacherWife. Maybe that will be my new blog name when I graduate…

So that’s us right now. Scout is doing great. Ornery as ever, but cute as can be and just so snuggly. Mr. A and I both agree that she has been a major stress reliever for us both. We love coming home to her meeting us at the door and, even though she plays rougher than I would like, she’s a ball of fun and we are absolutely in love with her. So, how doomed are we once we have kids??

I miss you all. BUT, I will have time off before summer school, so lots of catching up. Also, I am running my first 5k at the end of the month, so I will be sure to let you all know how it goes. Mr. A is coming to cheer me on and I will make him take pictures of me before I’m all gross and sweaty!

Spring Break for Grownups

Today was the official first day of spring break for Mr. A and myself. And it has been a much needed break.

For most, when they think of spring break, they think of beaches and sun and sand and overly intoxicated young people wearing little to no clothing.

And while that would have been fun a couple of years ago, Mr. A and I are far too mature for any of those shenanigans.

…

Really…we’re just too broke to go anywhere. We would totally be on a beach drinking right now if we could. And we would be laughing at all the obnoxious undergrads and taking bets on who lost their swimsuit first.

Also? I leave for my first conference in Orlando next week, which means I have a MILLION things to get done before leaving. Like writing two papers. And finalizing my thesis proposal. And reading two novels. And packing. And grading (because I am oh so behind on grading).

Spring break on a beach is definitely a thing of the past.

However, Mr. A and I were determined to make the most of it.

We spent Saturday and Sunday inSTL and enjoyed time with family. We did a little shopping. I FINALLY found a black blazer after looking everywhere. Ann Taylor LOFT was having a big sale and found some super cute tops, in a size smaller than I thought I would need, which is always great.

But the best part of break so far has been today.

When we woke up, it was cloudy and gloomy and looked like it was going to rain all day, but, much to our surprise, it turned in to an absolutely gorgeous day. It was windy, but around 77 degrees today, which is ridiculous for early March, but  definitely enjoyed. (This summer is going to be miserable…)

I worked out and discovered that some of the treadmills at the gym have tvs built in and you can watch any of the cable channels at your own station. So much  better than having to watch ESPN or CNN in the cardio room.

We then ran some errands. Discovered that my drapes project was going to be far too expensive since we have two massive windows in our bedroom and trying to buy enough fabric when we have no clue what the windows might be like once we move isn’t feasible. I was sad, but means more money for something else.

Because I couldn’t stand wasting such a gorgeous day, we went to the brand new frozen yogurt place in town and enjoyed some delicious treats in the sun. To top it all off, we are going to grill out tonight for dinner and probably go on a walk. (Can it be summer yet? But stay in the 70s-80s range? Please??)

So while our break won’t be filled with drunken debauchery and stories we only know about because our friends remind us what happened the night before, we’re enjoying our adult spring break. We get to spend time together, and while I have some serious work to get done, it can happen in sweat pants on my couch which catching up on episodes of tv shows.

I’ll let the youngsters enjoy their beaches. I have cheaper drinks and and less of a hangover. I think I win.

The Groove

In May, Mr. A and I will have been married for two years. TWO YEARS!

I know. This is very short compared to many of you, but I can’t believe two whole years have gone by. I still remember our wedding day perfectly.

While it sounds cliche, and some people will criticize, my husband is my best friend. This doesn’t mean that I don’t have other close friend, but there is no one that I trust more and no one knows me better.

To some, we seem like complete opposites. I’m getting a Master’s in literature, while he got an MBA in a year and is in his second year of law school. I love bad reality television while my husband would rather shoot nails into his eyes than watch an episode of The Bachelor or The Real World. I love fiction (obviously) and I can’t remember the last nonfiction book he read. He’s athletic. I’m not. He’s a great cook. I’m mediocre. He’s a neat freak. I’m far from.

But we complement each other. We balance each other out. I’m an emotional person and he typically keeps things bottled up. I’m outgoing and kind of loud. He’s much more reserved until he gets to know people. I bring some funny goofy into his life and he levels me out and instills work ethic in me. We believe in and support each other 100%.

But that being said, we are far from perfect.

And the first year of marriage?! YIKES.

Yes, a lot of that was the doubled stress of his first year in law school, living in a new place, and my unemployment, followed by very underemployment.

We were kind of a mess. And argued more than we ever did. And while we were still supportive, we each had too many other issues to really be there for one another.

Yes. I had a few very rough days where I wondered if we were really supposed to be married. Those were not good days.

Luckily, we’ve finally found our groove.

We are closer and happier than ever before. I believe we have fallen even more in love, or at least, I have. We are communicating so much better and I can’t remember the last real fight we’ve had.

That doesn’t mean we don’t bicker or get annoyed. We do. Remember, he’s a clean freak and I am not. This causes problems. (But then again, if I have to explain how to load the dishwasher again or remind him to get his clothes out of the dryer…well, I don’t know but something)

But in our second year, we’ve figured out how to work through them. We’ve learned not to push all the buttons when we’re aggravated. We’ve learned to not let our stubbornness lead to hurting the other just to have the last word. We can both be pretty strong willed and we are much better at putting that aside and being willing to say, “I’m sorry”.

We both are pretty goofy and the fun side of marriage has been wonderful. We are able to have a lot more fun together. We love to play with Scout and sleep in and watch movies and go for walks and just be together.

Yes, this is sappy. I know. But it’s where we are right now.

Everyday I get more and more excited to spend my life with this man. To have kids with him and travel and build a house and grow old with him. He’s my support when I need him and he tells me the truth when I need to hear it.

I like the groove we’re in. Now I wonder if his clothes are still in the dryer…

The Other State

I thought this blog post would be one of the easier ones. I mean, I think trip posts are usually pretty easy to write. You say what you did. Tell funny stories. Done.

But there’s something about this trip that doesn’t seem to be coming out. I don’t know what all to say about the trip.

It was both a vacation and not all at the same time.

I guess it was a vacation for me, but Mr. A still had to work during the days, so I was left to finding things to do on my own and exploring a new city is not nearly as fun when you’re by yourself. I think maybe that’s why it didn’t feel like a vacation to me.

But I did have a good time.

I got there on a Thursday night and was pretty exhausted. I don’t like to fly and the stress just wears me out. We grabbed some dinner at a BBQ place close to his hotel and just kept it simple.

Since he worked during the days, I was going to take him to work and pick him up so that I could have the car during the day. Except I was fairly terrified of the driving there. I love driving in the city, but the drivers there think they are the only ones on the road and have no consideration for anyone else driving. No idea how there aren’t more accidents and that more people aren’t seriously injured. Mr. A basically had to Tokyo Drift down the highway one day so he wasn’t slammed into the guardrail.

Mr. A also didn’t know anyone there, so the whole time he was there, he didn’t do much, so when I showed up, I wanted to do some of the fun touristy things.

We went to the aquarium, which was really neat. They had a cool rain forest island with monkeys and other creatures and there wasn’t a barrier between you and them. The island was situated so that they couldn’t get out, but it was cool to feel like there was nothing stopping them from jumping over. They even had a sloth in a tree that, technically, was close enough you could touch and absolutely nothing stopping you from doing so other than sign that said “Do Not Touch the Sloth”.

They had some really cool fish and the shark tunnel is always fun to walk through. We also love sea turtles, and they had a couple huge ones. They also had penguins that were outside, which is just amusing since I always imagine penguins in the cold, not the 100+ degree weather.

The city is basically a lot of eating and shopping. We found some truly delicious restaurants. Ones that I am craving from home and so very sad that I can’t have it.

Of course, I went to Sprinkles Cupcakes more than I ever should admit to anyone. But ZOMG those things are the best cupcakes that I have ever had. Too bad their cake mixes you can buy have gotten bad reviews. I would give anything for one of their red velvet and a chocolate marshmallow. Nomzzzzzzzz

We also learned that this city has probably one of the highest concentrations of rich people, at least that I’ve ever encountered. Never seen so many Range Rovers and Panameras in one place. Also realized that a lot of the stores in the malls that I couldn’t even step foot in without them requesting to know my checking account balance. One day I can shop there, just not now.

And then we went to visit our friends in another big city in Other State, about 4 hours away.

We had a great time. I hadn’t seen them since January and it was great to spend time with really good friends for a weekend. A and Mr. A lived together for 3 years in college and P and I went to high school together. P and A got together about 6 months after Mr. A and I, so the 4 of us spent A LOT of time together. We talked about the fact that if we had to live with another couple, it would be them since we basically did it through most of undergrad.

P and I talked about their wedding plans for next fall. The boys were boys and talked about boy things. We just had a truly great time.

Too bad the trip had to end on a sour note.

We were heading to our car in the parking garage of their apartment complex. The garage is locked and you have to have a clicker to get in. Guests are supposed to park on the top level, sot hats where we parked. But when we got up there, we saw that someone had broken into our car.

They completely ripped out the window and some of his stuff was sitting on the ground around the car. Mr. A was so pissed off. I was mad and just didn’t know what to do. Mr. A has had one hell of a time since he’s been in Other State, and this was about the 4th thing to go wrong involving his car. Guy had only been there a month.

Thank heavens they didn’t steal anything other than an envelope of receipts he was keeping for tax purposes. And receipts don’t have full credit card numbers so it should be fine and I’m keeping an eye on our accounts.

We think they were either looking for drugs, a laptop, or a stereo system since they left all sorts of expensive things in the car. They left the gps and his expensive radar detector and hiking stuff worth well over $400 and other various things. They definitely went through everything and tore stuff apart.

So we got to drive 4 hours on the interstate without a window, which is pretty darn miserable. Luckily Mr. A’s boss was a saint and let us park the car in their garage since our other option was going to be taking turns hanging out in the car all night to make sure no one stole the whole car. I had to move my flight to the next day since we weren’t sure if we would get back in time. No real complaints about an extra day with the husband, but we spent 2 hours at the window place waiting while they replaced it. So happy Mr. A’s insurance covered it all or we would be out about $500. Insurance is awesome.

All in all, it was a good time. I was so very happy to see Mr. A and to get to spend some time with him. We missed each other and I know it was good for him to have someone there to get him out of that hotel room. We went to a ball game. We ate at delicious restaurants. We endured 100+ temperatures every single day.

I also got to meet some blog friends which was truly amazing. All three of them were great and I am so very sad that I don’t live closer so that we can hang out some more. I won’t say who because I don’t know how anonymous they are and I wrote all over Twitter where I was, so I will respect their privacy. (But ladies, you were all AMAZING and I hope one day we can meet up again. SO MUCH FUN!)

So that was Other State. I’m sure I’m missing something, but my brain feels like it’s a bit in a fog and I can’t quite think out this whole thing. I will write better. Probably about things that I have been seeing in educations systems that are ticking me off. Hello, soapbox!