Tag Archives: married life

Breatheeee

I feel awful since this is now roughly the THIRD time I’ve had to take a blogging break.

I guess I feel bad because I really do love this hobby and have met some amazing people, but this last semester has kicked my ass.

I simply didn’t have time.

Yes, I had time to sit and watch tv. But when that rare opportunity occurred, the thought of having to type anything else out just wasn’t appealing, even though I missed all of you so very much.

BUT.

In case you don’t follow me on Twitter, I’m finished with my first year of grad school!!!!!

I am so freaking excited about this fact. I mean, a year ago I was working retail in a job I hated, which in turn, made me hate myself even though I was doing the “adult” thing by working to support my family.

A year later, I’ve finished my first year of grad school with (hoping!!) all A’s. (Waiting on the last grade to come in…I’ve checked it about a million times since Wednesday). I’m done with my first year of teaching college students, and while I sure had a rocky road, I’ve learned so so so much and I love where I am right now with my career.

And yes, it’s my career.

I’ve always wanted to teach at the college level. Always. I just thought that i would have to teach high school for a while first. But God had different plans and I’ve never been happier.

Yes, this year, specifically this semester, was hard.

I doubted myself constantly, thinking that maybe I wasn’t smart/good/talented/worthy enough for this opportunity. I still think that at times, but I’ve learned that I am as good as the other people in my program. I have worked HARD for this position and I will cherish every moment I have.

Do I complain about obnoxious students? Yes. Do I whine about papers and lack of sleep? Yes. And I am trying to work on that since I know I am blessed/lucky beyond belief to have this chance, but I am human and I do take things for granted. That being said, I am constantly in awe of this. Constantly. This whole thing was a fluke, but a fluke that I know was meant for me and I was in the right place at the right time.

Strangely enough, had it not been for the job I hated and happening to pick up an extra shift for a little extra money one day, I would not be here. A girl at work and I were talking about grad school and she is the one that informed me that this school had so many assistantship opportunities.

Funny how things work out…

And for those of you that have been here since then, none of this is new. But I feel like I need to make sure to give credit where it’s due and remind myself how lucky I am. So I do it here.

Mr. A and I are thoroughly enjoying this down time. We both have 4 weeks off until summer classes/teaching start and we plan on regaining our sanity. The last month of the semester was insane. Words can’t even describe it. One week, I had 6 nights in a row that I was in my office until after midnight. Mr. A and I rarely saw each other and we were testy and short with each other. Unfortunately, me more than him.

I had panic attacks and sobbing sessions. I freaked out and considered quitting. But I didn’t and I am so happy I didn’t.

Last week, I sat down with my thesis director so we could “road map” my thesis since I plan on starting it this summer. Strangely enough, I’m way ahead of the game and looks like I will have, roughly, a 120 page thesis that isn’t scaring the crap out of me. I am so incredibly excited about topic and my project that 120 pages seems completely doable, and even more so, enjoyable.

But, enough about school since I know all of us in school in some capacity is ready to avoid the subject for a bit.

Today, we DEEP cleaned the apartment since we both let it get completely out of hand the last month of school. Now, I hate cleaning. I am not domestic and chores might be my least favorite thing. However, having a very clean apartment sure was nice tonight.

Scout, however, hated it.

She doesn’t like change, and the amount of moving things around and loud noises that were happening, she was not happy with us. She spent most of the day hiding under the bed, which she hasn’t done since we first brought her home. However, once Mr. A left to help a friend move and I was just folding laundry, I lured her out with some treats and she napped in her chair.

Bonus of Mr. A helping someone move? The guy is moving to California, so can’t take too much with him, so he offered his awesome entertainment center with tv mount to us. It looks a million times better than the one we had before, especially since we had broken one leg when we, after a few drinks, decided to rearrange our living room. The tv stand was simply set on top of the broken leg, so a bump in the right spot would have sent everything flying. Needless to say, this is a HUGE upgrade. It even fits in the space better. Win win.

Tomorrow, a friend and I are having a late lunch and then getting pedicures. Mr. A leaves on Tuesday to go to Mville to see his mom and dad, and then he and his friends leave on Wednesday for a Vegas bachelor party. They won’t get back until midnight on Sunday, which means Mr. A won’t be home until roughly 4am on Monday. Mr. A is the best man, so this has been all his planning, so I’m happy for him to have a chance to relax and hang out with friends without school hanging over his head. They have bottle service at one of the most exclusive clubs and tickets to an amazing show. I tried to get them to go to Club Rehab on Sunday, but they weren’t sure it was worth the money since they would have to leave early to catch their flight home. Can you tell I’m SUPER jealous? I tried to get them to let me fly out with them, stay in a separate room and just lounge by the pool the whole time. For some reason, Mr. A just wouldn’t agree to that…

No worries thought. My MIL and I are going to have a girl’s weekend involving the restaurants in Mville that I miss, drinks, gossip, and time tanning on the deck. I think I still make it out okay.  ;o)

So that’s where we are as of right now. Did I leave anything out? How are all of YOU??? What do I need to catch up on??

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Filed under A little More About Me, Blogging, Grad School?, Married Life

Spring Break for Grownups

Today was the official first day of spring break for Mr. A and myself. And it has been a much needed break.

For most, when they think of spring break, they think of beaches and sun and sand and overly intoxicated young people wearing little to no clothing.

And while that would have been fun a couple of years ago, Mr. A and I are far too mature for any of those shenanigans.

Really…we’re just too broke to go anywhere. We would totally be on a beach drinking right now if we could. And we would be laughing at all the obnoxious undergrads and taking bets on who lost their swimsuit first.

Also? I leave for my first conference in Orlando next week, which means I have a MILLION things to get done before leaving. Like writing two papers. And finalizing my thesis proposal. And reading two novels. And packing. And grading (because I am oh so behind on grading).

Spring break on a beach is definitely a thing of the past.

However, Mr. A and I were determined to make the most of it.

We spent Saturday and Sunday inSTL and enjoyed time with family. We did a little shopping. I FINALLY found a black blazer after looking everywhere. Ann Taylor LOFT was having a big sale and found some super cute tops, in a size smaller than I thought I would need, which is always great.

But the best part of break so far has been today.

When we woke up, it was cloudy and gloomy and looked like it was going to rain all day, but, much to our surprise, it turned in to an absolutely gorgeous day. It was windy, but around 77 degrees today, which is ridiculous for early March, but  definitely enjoyed. (This summer is going to be miserable…)

I worked out and discovered that some of the treadmills at the gym have tvs built in and you can watch any of the cable channels at your own station. So much  better than having to watch ESPN or CNN in the cardio room.

We then ran some errands. Discovered that my drapes project was going to be far too expensive since we have two massive windows in our bedroom and trying to buy enough fabric when we have no clue what the windows might be like once we move isn’t feasible. I was sad, but means more money for something else.

Because I couldn’t stand wasting such a gorgeous day, we went to the brand new frozen yogurt place in town and enjoyed some delicious treats in the sun. To top it all off, we are going to grill out tonight for dinner and probably go on a walk. (Can it be summer yet? But stay in the 70s-80s range? Please??)

So while our break won’t be filled with drunken debauchery and stories we only know about because our friends remind us what happened the night before, we’re enjoying our adult spring break. We get to spend time together, and while I have some serious work to get done, it can happen in sweat pants on my couch which catching up on episodes of tv shows.

I’ll let the youngsters enjoy their beaches. I have cheaper drinks and and less of a hangover. I think I win.

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Filed under Grad School?, Home Sweet Home, Married Life

College Life

The world of a university is weird.

It truly is its own universe with its own rules and understandings and super annoying people.

I have been out of school for a little over two years. My lest semester in college, I was student teaching, and while I did have to put together a final portfolio, I wasn’t going to classes or writing papers. And while I am hesitant to say that I was in the “real world” during those two years since a lot of it was spent both unemployed, underemployed, and still being supported by my parents even though I was married, it was much more real than this.

I am in a constant state of feeling both like an adult and a college freshman, all at the same time.

Here I am, teaching two college classes. I am in charge. I AM the teacher. I don’t report to anyone in the sense that no one has to approve what I’m doing in class. I give assignments. I grade papers. I hand out consequences  when rules are broken. I decide if an absence is excused or not. I’m (basically) in charge. So much of my time is spent planning for classes and grading and responding to student e-mails and holding office hours that, at times, I feel like a true college instructor.

But then I’m also a student. I have to go to class, do readings, write papers, complete daily assignments, coordinate group projects, and just do everything that is involved with being a student. I go to the student center for coffee runs with my friends. We complain about papers. We make study nights (that usually involve a lot more snacking, drinks, and talking than studying…). We go out for classmate’s birthdays and laugh at buying them shots and giggling just like college kids do.

So where am I?

Am I an independent adult that has bills (grant, parents are still helping a little) and responsibilities, not only for my own academics, but for the educations of my students?

Or am I still a kid? Hiding behind the walls of this university and not truly being in the “real” world?

Where does one stop and the other start?

I know this doesn’t seem like a real problem. It’s very much a #firstworldproblem. VERY MUCH SO. And I know that. But it puts me in this weird state and I can’t quite figure out the balance yet or which world I’m supposed to be in.

The problem is also that I’m married. Yes, Mr. A may still be a student, but he’s a law student and they seem to be on a whole other level than I am. He has always been a bit of an old soul. Even in undergrad, he might go to the fraternity house for a little while, but he always left before me and I would meet up with him later. I am the social butterfly of the two of us.

So now that I have all these awesome new friends, I want to go do stuff with them and hang out and go to the mall and go to movies and make dinner and everything they are doing.

But I have a husband at home that, while he likes my friends, he likes his downtime a whole lot more. And I’m feeling a little torn.

Believe me. I know where my loyalties lie. If it ever came to it, I will always pick my husband. I love him and would do anything for him. However, I also have new friends and people to mingle with and make connections and just become better friends with.

This whole balancing act thing has not been nearly as easy and I thought it was going to be. I’m nearly halfway through my first semester and I still can’t seem to find a way to make it all mesh together and work.

I guess that’s life. Figuring out how to prioritize and meet all the responsibilities while still being yourself.

I’m not going to figure this out anytime soon, am I?

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Filed under Confessions, Grad School?, Life After College, Teaching in College