Surreal

As I sit here in my apartment, everything is very slowly sinking in.

Tonight, I wrote up a moving week list. It’s two freaking pages long.

And no, I didn’t just list everything to pack. Packing is probably one of the things listed on there the least.

I have about a million errands to run tomorrow so that things go as smoothly as possible.

Deal with getting water turned on at new place, off at old place. Get mail forwarded. Maybe go get driver’s license changed. Start packing kitchen stuff. Reserve our Uhaul for Friday. (Speaking of which, is renting a Uhaul like renting a car where you have to be 25?)

And that’s just Monday.

I keep telling everyone that I’m fine with packing and moving by myself, but today, it seems overwhelming. I look around and holy crap do we have a lot of crap. Our apartment isn’t even that big. Geeze.

And I think it’s just weird to be moving into OUR new apartment by MYSELF. I’m picking up keys alone. Working on furniture arrangements alone. Packing and deciding what to keep and what to toss, alone. I think it’s just a lot to process right now.

I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if moving was all I was doing. But I just quit my job as well. No, no, no. Not questioning that decision in the least, but it’s still a little surreal and hasn’t sunk in. I keep thinking, “When is my next shift?” Or about what sale is going on or discounts. And when I drive by it hasn’t sunk in that I will only ever walk into that building as a consumer and I won’t be the one required to talk to customers. Again, very happy about this, just hasn’t all hit.

Also, I start grad school in just over a month. It’s all very weird. I’ve been out of school for so long that it is strange to look at the books I will be reading and studying and writing about and fretting over grades. But being a student isn’t the hard part. I will also be a teacher at the same time. And not to bratty 8th graders or know it all high school sophomores.

To college students. Students not much younger than me, and some possibly older than me. And my professors? They will be my colleagues. I will attend faculty meetings and hear office gossip. Being on both sides of the fence might be a bit of an adjustment for me.

And then there’s the fact that I’m currently a married woman living alone.

Mr. A and I have done long distance when we were dating, but that’s exactly it. We were dating. Now, we’re married with a joint bank account and shared responsibilities and shared items.

But I’ve been feeling like I just have an occasional weekend houseguest that already knows where the towels are and how I like my wine.

And I’m kind of afraid that since I’m moving us into the new apartment and that I will be the one setting it up and decorating and making decisions about where things will go and how the flow of the apartment will flow, that I’m going to feel some sense of claim to it. It won’t feel like ours, but instead, mine and when he comes home in August, I will get perturbed if he tries to move things or messes up my routine or schedule.

The worst part is just going to be not seeing him for weeks at a time. Luckily, I get to visit him and the second half will be spent in graduate assistantship training, so I should be kept busy and won’t be too lonely, but I know the first two weeks will be rough.

So for now, as I watch Sex and the City the show for the first time, and pack boxes and plan out my move, I will live in my surreal state and just try to enjoy it. I mean when else could I watch hours of this show, drink wine, take bubble baths, read books, and lounge around in yoga pants?

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7 Comments

Filed under A little More About Me, Freak Out Much?, Grad School?, Home Sweet Home, Life After College, Married Life

7 responses to “Surreal

  1. You have a lot of very overwhelming stuff going on, but don’t worry, girl, like everything else in life, you’ll come out the other side doing just fine. Be proud of yourself for being able to handle it all! Good luck with the packing and moving.

  2. That is a lot going on. But the plus is that at least you get to organize the new apartment just the way you want and you will feel protective of it, but I think that’s your reward 🙂 Good luck, and enjoy SATC- it’s good stuff!

  3. You can do it!!!!!!! Here’s a little bit of encouragement to cheer you on. You’ll adjust, and life will be amazing. As for teaching as a GA, I loved it and I wish I could still do that from time to time. It’s a great thing! GOOD LUCK!

  4. I have so much faith in you! You are an AMAZINGLY strong woman for being able to do all of this on your own. I’m sure Mr. A is just as proud and thankful to have you around. Just be glad you don’t have any kids/pets to complicate this process even more!

  5. Definitely a lot of stuff all at once. But you will get through it and it will all work out. One step at a time, my friend! Power through! You can do it!

  6. Enjoy it while it lasts! I know that is difficult but if you try and see the good in every situation….it helps! I get sad every time my boyfriend leaves town, but I always take the opportunity to do my own thing and enjoy it! Maybe you can make packing into some kind of game? Whenever you get a box done or a room packed, you get a treat? 🙂 good luck!

  7. Moving by yourself does sound like a big undertaking. But school and the rest, they’ll come later. You’ll get through it all!

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