**I’ve not had a baby. I’m not planning on having a baby anytime soon. I welcome personal experiences and thoughts. Just know these are my opinions and thoughts and they could change*
I have no idea what has drawn me to these two movies, but I am and I’ve watched them. Netflix Instantly is to blame. As is my curiosity about pregnancy and delivery.
I’ve watched “The Business of Being Born” and “Pregnant in America”. And both seem to be pro natural birth/doulas/midwives and they are fascinating.
I had always thought and assumed that I would just go to a hospital, have an epidural, and out comes the baby. Yes, I know it would take time and all that and yes I know it would be painful and probably not fun, but that’s how it happens.
Apparently, there are more options. (yes, logically I knew that, but never considered them)
And I’m terribly conflicted about this.
@aRealLifeWife from Keeping up with the Joneses asked me on Twitter why I was watching these. I’ve said that we aren’t having kids for a while, so she was probably curious about my choice of movies. I told her that I want to be armed with as much information as possible before the time comes. I know once I get pregnant, I will be so excited and worried about picking out colors and cribs and strollers and room decor themes and clothes and cute stuffed animals (which I know to not have in the crib with them…). Names and gender will be discussed and I will be a big ball of emotions and hormones and I will NOT be in the right state of mind to make an informed and well thought out decision. I also know I will be a little scared and worried, so I could be easily swayed one way or another.
So here I am. I would NOT be happy if we had a baby right now due to financial reasons and I know I’m just not ready yet. Will I ever truly feel ready? Who knows, but now is not the time. So it’s a great time for me to research since I’m under no time crunch or trying to get pregnant. I’m level headed and trying to understand all of the options and statistics and all that jazz.
And my ideas of lots of pains meds in a hospital bed and all that have been shaken.
The information about Pitocin and the problems it causes for both the mom and the baby is scary enough. And the statistics about how many births occur Monday thru Friday as compared to Saturday and Sunday are astounding. The idea that doctors would push a drug used for the induction of labor, that also has a lot of scary side effects, just so they can get home or so they don’t have to be there for a 16 hour labor when they can have a 30 minute caesarean, is appalling. They decided to become doctors. Doctors don’t have 9-5 jobs, especially in obstetrics. Hello! Women go into labor at all hours of the day and night and I’ve heard of labors lasting anywhere from 2 hours to 36.
(Edit) But I KNOW not all doctors are like this. My mom’s doctor did not want to do a c-section and, even though she had some complications, they didn’t do a c-section because he didn’t find it necessary. He let it happen how her body was going to do it. On her time. And I would guess to say MOST doctors are like this. Even the documentaries talked to these doctors. So please don’t think I think every OBGYN is going to rush a person. I’m not. It’s just the percentage of c-sections and use of pitocin is on the rise for some reason and it’s not something I want, if avoidable. So I will research and meet with my doctor to find out and make sure he or she knows that I want things to happen naturally, if that’s the route I choose.
However, home birth is not in my plans.
You see, I might be more conflicted than other people.
Both of my mom’s labors did not go well. Like, at all. Had she not been in a hospital…well, it wouldn’t be good. I still don’t have ALL of the details as to what was going wrong, but when she was in labor with me, her doctor said “We aren’t going to let happen the first time happen again. Let’s get her out now.” Also, both of my mom’s labors started when her water broke as opposed to contractions first. Not sure if this was part of the problem, but my mom is very adamant about being a hospital because of her experience. Also, after me and how badly things went, they decided no more children.
So that makes me nervous. Labor is a big deal, and whether in a hospital or at home, with a doctor or midwife or doula, things, unfortunately, can go wrong.
But also all the information about doctors pushing c-sections makes me nervous. A c-section is a HUGE surgery. It’s a big deal. Also, after one c-section there is a fair amount of scar tissue which can cause other problems should the mom have to have another c-section or abdominal surgery.
My MIL wanted a c-section. She also had nurse friends to tell her where to say it hurt or she felt pressure to get the doctor to do a c-section. And I know lots of women would rather have a 30 minute surgery and be done than to have to push and be in pain for hours and hours on end. I get that. I don’t like pain. My mom says that I have a pretty high pain tolerance, but still.
So what do you do? What did you do?
I think I have more research to do. I think I want Mr. A to watch these because he is very pro hospital. He has a cousin who has done home birth 3 times (also doesn’t take her kids to the doctor for anything which is a whole other issue). We always thought it was crazy because she didn’t even have a midwife- just her mom and sister. Our joke has been that I will have 2 doctors, all the pain meds and will be in a hospital to make sure nothing happens.
But this is a decision, in my opinion, that he and I have to make together. We both need to be comfortable in our decision and work as a team, no matter what we choose.
I think the idea of a midwife would be great, especially since then you have the freedom to move around and try to make yourself comfortable, as opposed to being in a bed. However, I want it in a hospital, for the “just in case”. Sometimes, as one expert in the documentary said, Pitocin is needed, or a c-section is required. But a c-section shouldn’t be a first option for a doctor. The doctor should try everything else and c-section should be plan Z as it will save the mom and baby.
Again, every woman has their own ideas and opinions, and I respect ALL of them. And I may decide to go back to my original doctor plan. Mr. A could be adamantly against a midwife. I could have a rocky pregnancy that requires a doctor. Who knows. So I’m not judging any woman for any decision they make. I do think doctors (and again, I know it’s not all doctors, just a few- not trying to say it’s everyone) need to listen to their patients and work with them and not force them into something they aren’t comfortable with. And that goes for obstetrics and every other branch of medicine.
So I shall continue to research while I have plenty of time. There are a couple books I would like to read to learn more. I want to be super informed and very sure of my decision.
So for now, if you see me and I have a tummy bump? That’s cheeseburger and fries I ate. Sorry to get your hopes up.