Something I’ve been working on in my own life is being grateful and appreciative for the things I have, what I’ve been blessed with, and just working on being happy in the here and now.
The biggest one of these is my job. I hate my job. Hate. Hate. Hate.
I’ve never disliked a job as much as this one. I was lucky that I had jobs with great hours, few weekends, if any, and lots of time off, whether when I was a teacher or a bank teller- both got state and federal holidays and teachers just get all sorts of days off. (Yes, I may still have had grading or planning, but I got to do it at home.)
Retail? No such luck.
Super crappy hours. I work nearly all weekend, every weekend. It was glorious to have all of last weekend off, but now I’m paying for it with a 6 day streak. (I normally only have 3 days in a row before a day off.)
Don’t make me laugh. It’s practically slave labor. Not sure if I’ve said it on here or not, but I would not be able to pay rent and our bills each month without Mr. A’s student loan money. I work almost full time and can’t pay rent. That’s ridiculous.
Even better? They have me in limbo. I don’t know if they’re keeping me. They tell me they want to keep me, but nothing certain. No idea if it will be full-time or not. And if they do keep me full-time, I’m going to feel super crappy when (yes, WHEN) I find a better job or a teaching job. And I know I shouldn’t let that bother me, but I feel like they maybe could have kept someone else who needed it for longer than me.
But, I have to look past that.
At least I HAVE a job. It’s something. Better than last semester when I sat on the couch for 4 months. No, I don’t like my job. But it’s a job.
It helps pay some bills and groceries. And if by some miracle, they decide to give me a pay increase, we might, just might, be able to start saving a little bit of money.Because right now, we basically have no savings because we depleted it last semester.
I thank God every night that I have something. I also pray he finds me something better, or at least that I can get a teaching job for next semester, but I have to be thankful for now.
It’s taught me some humility. It’s taught me patience with people, or at least being patient in front of them. When telling my brother a story about a particularly rude customer who said I must have failed out of high school since I work at a department store and I told him that I just walked to the back, grabbed another associate, and asked her to finish with them while I cooled off so I didn’t go and kick her ass. My brother said he would have expected me to be in a puddle crying and upset. Nope. I got mad and was ready to stand up for myself. Because right now, the only people fighting for me are me. It’s taught me better money management. It’s showed me hard work and not getting everything I want.
So I have to be thankful. I have to remind myself that it can be worse. At least I’m not at rock bottom right now. Looking for the silver lining.