Words can’t explain my gratitude to all of you.
I never imagined the outpouring of support from yesterday’s post. I thought maybe I came across as a little whiny and you would move on to the next blog you read. But I had to get it out there. I had to write it, and not only write it, but have you read it. Journals never helped me because I knew that it was still inside me, and me alone.
I’m teary eyed and having a hard time finding the words to say to you all.
I know this is a silly blog. Millions of people have them. And millions of people probably have better ones than I do. But you found mine and you read it. And yesterday, you commented. You gave advice. You expressed your support. You gave me warnings. And you sent virtual hugs and thoughts and prayers. You gave me hope when I was slowly losing every ounce I had mustered up to yesterday. You let me know that I’m not alone. That it isn’t my fault. And that you were thinking about me.
And for that, I thank you.
Thank you doesn’t really cut it. It may sound incredibly silly, but all day yesterday, every time I received a comment and read it, it brought a smile to my face and gave me a renewed sense of conviction. You made my day significantly better.
It showed me I can call you guys friends. Again, lame. But that’s how it felt. Still feels.
Maybe it’s the wine, but I’m super sentimental today.
So I’ll quit being a gushing ball of meh.
But I had some questions about your suggestions yesterday. I think every single one of you had amazing advice and ideas, but for some of them, I’m not sure where to look or how to start.
So, I’ll jump right in.
1. Temp agencies. Never really considered it, but I’m all for it. If someone else wants to put my name out there, more power to them. But how do they work? Also, how do I find one? Even more important, how can I tell if they’re shady and should avoid them? I don’t want to end up in a drug house. Or a scam.
2. Volunteering. How did you pick where to volunteer? Where do you volunteer? How do you find places and what types of places, generally, tend to need help? I looked into CASA, but I’m afraid of committing, finding a job, and then not having time to do it.
3. Non-profits. Okay, I understand what that means, but how do you get involved? I know some of you work for non-profits, so how does that work?
4. Political. Someone mentioned political campaigns. Now, I really have no desire to go door to door. That’s so not my thing. But what else might they need?
5. Retail. I worked at a shoe store when I was 16 because two of my friends worked there. How bad is it? Also, and I’m not going to be picky about hours, but will I be working Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, and New Years? The only reason I’m concerned is because I’m a couple hours away from family. So, if I was home and working, no big deal if I have to work because it’s a 10 minute drive and they will wait for me. But if it’s 2 hours, I’m afraid I’ll miss every gathering. It’s something I’m looking into, especially since we live less than a mile from the mall, but just curious. (Please don’t think I’m being picky. Just curious what I’m getting into.)
Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. To those of you who have said you were in my position, thank you for the advice from someone who has been in the trenches and knows the struggle, emotionally and mentally. To those of you with jobs, thank you for telling me how you got those and please don’t think I’m not happy for you. I am. I’m happy you are providing for your family and not having to go through what I am right now. To those of you in my position, know you have a partner in crime. I, logically, know that it’s not my fault and I’m doing what I can. Same for you. We will get through this. No one knows how long this will take, but we will figure it out.
You are all wonderful and know how much you’ve helped someone this week. Treat yourself with a glass of wine or a margarita or a cookie or a pumpkin spice latte. You deserve it.
love you guys.