Law School Friends

It is so hard to make friends after college.

I have talked extensively about my excitement about meeting new people here.

I remembered undergrad.  School started and all these new people are around. Everyone is excited with the promise of a new year and eager to meet new people. I figured it would be a no brainer for Mr. A to make a slew of new friends, and by association, I would make new friends.

Somewhere along the way, my plan has been thwarted.

I have several ideas about why this might be:

1. Mr. A isn’t super outgoing. It’s not that he isn’t nice. He is. But he’s very quiet around new people and isn’t one to put himself out there a lot. I, on the other hand, am usually willing to make a joke about myself to get a laugh and start talking with people. I can be shy, but in a class setting, I find comfort and that is where I have made some of my best friends.

2. I’m not in law school. This provides a couple obstacles.

A. I’m not in classes with them 16+ hours a week. I’m not studying with them in the library before, between, and after classes. Basically, it’s a proximity thing.

B. I don’t understand their “legal” jokes. Whenever we go out, they talk about law school and make law school jokes. Some I get, some I don’t. And even if I get them, hearing legal jokes aren’t funny the 100th time you hear them. I get it. You’re in law school. You understand legal things. Please don’t make every conversation about the law or making a joke about it. Ahh

3. I make friends with guys easier. I’ve talked about this issue before, but it’s still an issue. N and N that Mr. A has met and made friends with? I think their f’ing hilarious and good guys. I love when N1, Mr. A, and myself talk. He’s smart and funny and sarcastic and a smart ass. Just like me and Mr. A and all of my other friends. But I can’t very well call N1 or N2 and say, “Hey, want to go see a movie?” Not appropriate.

     I’ve met a couple girls I like, but one’s boyfriend lives with her and she studies more than any person I know, so her social time is limited. The other also has a serious boyfriend, but she too studies constantly. Both girls are great, but they are 3 weeks into school. Spend an insane amount of time together, so their bonds have been made already. Every time we go out, I’m trying to play catch up. There are other girls, but they are single and when I’ve seen them out, they are either trashed and can’t speak straight, or they are hitting on the guys. (Law school really is like high school. Only with alcohol. Okay, well I guess some people had alcohol in high school, but now they aren’t worried if someone’s mom is going to come home and bust them.)

So, that’s where I am.

I think I might be SOL when it comes to law school friends. If nothing else, logistically, it’s a stretch. It’s sad that I’m deciding friendships based on logistics isn’t it? Gahhh

If only I had a job to meet people. Oh the curse words that are running through my brain… Too bad I want to be a teacher.

So, I’ll go to the outings, like the guy who is having people over Saturday for the Illini game. I’ll socialize, have a good time, and watch the game and we’ll go from there. I’ll probably even make some awesome dessert. Just for kicks.

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9 Comments

Filed under Life After College, Life in Law School (even if I'm not in it)

9 responses to “Law School Friends

  1. My law school husband is kind of quiet, but he seems to have fallen in with a good group of kids. I enjoy hanging out with them – you just have to make them not talk about law all the time. 🙂

  2. Notes from the Fatty File

    I am friendly with my husband’s friends and we go out in groups but I haven’t hung out one-on-one with any of the ladies (who are all awesome). They all study soooo much. You should join a book club or something along those lines!

  3. Making friends as an adult is horrible and demoralizing. Don’t beat yourself up.

    After two years in Olympia I have TWO friends.

    TWO.

  4. Making friends is HARD. But please please please do what you can to make your own friends. My husband had lovely friends in med school, a group of (mainly) guys that I adore.

    But all they talk about is medicine. And it is BORING. I have felt so much better and less lonely now that we are in residency and I’ve met a few wives… And have put myself out there by joining a book club. We have so much to talk about – and none of it involves medicine! (Well, unless we are bitching about call schedules.)

    • THe problem right now is I spend all my time at home and have no clue where to meet people. I don’t even know where to look for a book club. I really need law school to be over so we can move to our final destination where I know people and things to do. hah

      • Jamie

        Omg don’t feel bad about this. I’m in a city where we have lived previously, I go to what is supposed to be one of the friendliest law schools in America and I still feel like I (we) have no friends. Oh yeah and he works with a bunch of nice people to. But I feel like we almost never hang out with anyone. NOT YOUR FAULT. Totally a symptom of modern life, IMO.

  5. Sarah

    It is so hard to meet friends in a new city when you’re not in school And you’re right–the worst thing about law schoolers is that they talk about law all.the.time. I wish I had some awesome advise about what to do…but honestly, I don’t. I’ve lived here for a year and still don’t really have anyone who I can call a friend. I suppose just try to find fun activities–like book clubs or something–and meet people that way. Or try volunteering somewhere. Hopefully you’ll start meeting people soon. 🙂

  6. My one saving grace in this area is that I have teacher friends. When I first moved here and didn’t have a job I stayed connected with those people who shared my passion. Our relationships were over the phone, but it helped get me to where I am now. Doug and I def. have two separate worlds when it comes to his law friends and my normal friends. Hehehehe. Normal- get it. 🙂

    On the flip side…Doug HATES going out with my friends and me because well…my friends are teachers. He always mutters under his breath NO TEACHER TALK. I mutter under mine NO LAW SPEAK. HAHAHAHA.

  7. Too bad you don’t live near us – I would TOTALLY hang out with you!

    Having moved to several new cities in the past few years, I’ve had the experience of making ZERO friends in one and in this city that we’re currently in, I’ve made several and have a very busy schedule. Granted, some of my friends have come from work, but I’ve made others just by getting connected. I would recommend doing these things.

    1) Look for your local alumni group. I ended up having several people I knew from college and from my sorority in town. I had no idea that they lived here, but am now able to get together with them occassionally. (I don’t actually hang out with the alumni group as all the people at the event my BFF and I stalked looked pasty and dull, but then, I tend to judge people like that and that’s why I didn’t have any friends in my previous city.)

    2) Volunteer. I’m in a volunteer organization here and have met several nice women. If nothing else, it gives me the opportunity to get a margarita with them once a month and gives me something to do outside of work.

    3) Throw yourself out there. I know that’s easier said than done, but ask your friends from other cities if they know anyone in your city. Or meet people from the blogging community. Or join a gym and make friends in the classes.

    I remember how miserable I was when I lived in the other city and didn’t do anything for myself. So, I’ve tried to be different here, but it’s definitely hard!

    Don’t worry – I’m sure your personality translates to being just as fun and clever in real life as it is on your blog. People will love you. 🙂

    (sorry this is so long! eek!)

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