I realized that after my last post, this lack of blogging probably looks like I curled into the fetal position and haven’t been heard from in a week.
I assure, this has no happened.
Truthfully, the post slightly embarrasses me because I completely fell apart to a bunch of strangers. I looked selfish and whiny, especially in connection to the other girl who got the job. I hate that I came off that way. What I hate even more is that is how I truly felt. I couldn’t find a way, at the time, to suck up the pride and be truly and genuinely happy for her.
I’m not completely there yet, but I am MUCH further than last week. I AM happy for her. It still stings a little and I wouldn’t want to hold a full conversation with her about it, but I’m doing better.
I’ve taken a job search break this week because I had reached my breaking point, which was posted all over the internet through this blog, but I will get back to it soon. Probably next week when we FINALLY and officially move to our new apartment in C-town.
Which brings me to another topic: in-laws.
So you know how I’ve said how much I love my in-laws and how my MIL is wonderful and all sunshine and gumdrops??
Yeah, not so much.
Mr. A and I have been living at his mom’s house for the past week because, despite the fact that we moved all our stuff into the new apartment. I still had work in M-town and the mister was finishing summer classes and working as well.
When we decided this, I thought to myself, “Sure. That won’t be so bad. I love my MIL and it’s only 3 weeks, right?”
WRONG. So very wrong.
I married my husband because I love him. Also, because I can spend large amounts of time with him and not want to kill him. This is not the case for most people. Or truthfully, anyone else. I like down time and alone time. I like my space. I like to know where things are. And I like to be left alone.
That doesn’t happen here.
First, there’s my BIL. I may have said it before, but he could be his own post. Mostly me ranting about how much of a waste of space lazy useless unemployed he is.To catch you up, he failed out of college. Twice. (he’s only 20 years old.) He doesn’t have a job. Mr. A and I believe he has been lying about filling out job applications and not actually doing them. He spends money like he works full time. His girlfriend….I won’t even get started because I won’t be able to stop. Every time he talks to me, or more appropriately, about me, he says rude things, and when talking to him mom, he says things in a way as if he’s trying to get me into trouble. Like I’m 12 years old. “Hey mom, did you know Mrs. A made a PBJ with those oatmeal cookies?” Why yes she did because we talked about it the night before while you stayed in your basement room playing World of Warcraft all night.
And the most annoying? He acts like all of this is okay and there is nothing wrong with him draining money from his mom because she can’t seem to tell him no. Yet, she complains to Mr. A and myself about this whole ridiculous situation. I really want the husband to grow a pair and tell her how it is. Tell her to stop babying him, tell him to get off his ass and do something with his life. Get a job and quit being emo and hiding in his room with his video games.
I won’t pretend I know what it’s like to want to do everything for your child to help them succeed and how devastating it is to see a kid fail, but this is ridiculous. He’s 20, 21 in a couple months. Do you really want him and his gross girlfriend living in your basement until he’s 30? Didn’t think so.
Back to living with the in-laws….
It’s also hard to get some alone/down/quiet time. I feel like I’m supposed to be constantly socializing when all I want to do is go to the bedroom, put on my comfy clothes and read a book or blog or do whatever I want to do. Without being asked to go show an aunt wedding pictures, or help make dinner, or feeling like I’m supposed to be hanging out. It’s frustrating.
I also can’t find anything, so trying to cook is near impossible without me getting completely in a tizzy and giving up.
So, I said this would be random….
Trashy reality tv? I’m in love. We’ve been without the BRAVO network the whole time I’ve been in M-town, but the MIL has it. It’s all I watch. Real Housewives of any city? I’m addicted. I hate Danielle. I love the rest. Top Chef? I missed you. Teen Mom on MTV? Still a favorite.
Books? I can’t wait to start all your suggestions from GoodReads. However, I am sticking to my goal of re-reading ALL the Harry Potter books before the 7th movie. I adore these books. And no. I didn’t jump on the bandwagon a couple years ago. I have been reading since 5th grade, when I had to wait a year and a half for the next one. It was a part of my childhood and growing up and I love them and I will be so sad after next July and it’s all over. But, I get to relive some of it now. Please tell me I’m not the only one who just loves these books? Or just lie to me so I feel like less of a dork….
Enough hodge podge. Planning on finishing wedding blogging tomorrow. I’m halfway there. Professional pictures take forever to load.
Also, thank you to everyone who commented about the job situation last week. You can’t know how much it meant to me. I needed to hear those words and know that others out there care or are trying to give me advice to get me through this stage. My deepest and sincerest thank you.