Hand on the hip

Since I don’t get to see my wedding pictures until Sunday, I thought I would write, what I thought, were some helpful tips/advice for weddings and such. It would be light and sweet and funny and basically all about doing what YOU want since it’s YOUR wedding.

Until my mom called.

My mom went and picked up the pictures last night. She was crazy busy at work today, so I didn’t get to talk to her all day about the pictures. I was dying to hear about them, knowing they would be great and she would say, “I just don’t know how I’m going to choose.” You know how moms are. Their daughter is the most beautiful in the world and all that jazz. (Please don’t interpret that as I think I am the most beautiful. I don’t.)

We talk for about 15 minutes and no mention of pictures, which is shocking coming from my mother. She has ooed and ahhed over every bit about our wedding and was just itching to see pictures. But she’s talking about how our home state is cracking down on construstion zone speed limits with cameras and if you are 1mph over they send you a whopping $400 ticket???

Useful information for when I go home next weekend because I drive like a bat out of hell quickly, but not what I expected.

So I asked. I figure she had a long, hard day and her mind is a little slammed. No big. Goes like this:

Me: So Mom, how are the pictures? I’m dying to see them

Mom: (slight pause) They are fine, good.

Me: (pure terror on my face but trying to hide it) Fine? What’s wrong? Did they get messed up? (Me thinking something happened in printing the book and can be fixed.)

Then it comes out. Mom says that there is hardly any variety in poses. That many of them look the same. Not much difference.

And then she says it. The thing that now has me sitting here, having a minor panic attack, crying having cried, complete freak out.

“It’s not like anyone was going to plaster their walls with 30 pictures of the wedding, so they can find a few they like.”

WHAT THE HELL?????????????????????????????????????????????

Actually Mom, as wedding gifts, which you were there when I opened, we received two HUGE collage picture frame and my EXACT plan was to fill them with pictures of the wedding and hang them up. Not all of me or Mr. A of course, but of the wedding, and throw in some honeymoon pictures too.

Yes. That is what I was going to do.

Apparently not anymore if, according to her, nearly every picture I have my hand on my hip and look the same.

Terror. That’s what this is. I don’t even want to look at them at the moment.

And to top it off, some friends who got married right around the same time we did put their wedding pictures on Facebook. Guess what? Their’s are fucking gorgeous. The photographer had an eye and did some awesome poses and cool shots.

What the hell do I do now? Not like they were senior pictures and we can just go reshoot them. I can’t get back into my wedding dress, ask all the guys to go rent a tux again, and go take more. I guess Mr. A and I could go do casual ones, he in a suit and my in my dress, but more laid-back?

No. I want my wedding pictures to be perfect. I wanted to look over them a million times and not be sure which ones to print.

I know. I should relax until I see them. Or you will tell me that it isn’t that bad or that I loved my wedding so don’t worry.

But that’s the thing. We loved our wedding. I keep asking if we can relive it. But in 5 years, I’m not going to remember everything and that’s what the pictures are for.

And what’s more disappointing, from what I can see on my photographer’s blog, she didn’t have this problem with any other couple. Every other bride looked like a super model and they had fun and edgy pictures.

Is it because I didn’t have bridesmaids that she didn’t know what to do with us? Is it because it felt about 150 degrees outside in that dress and those tuxes, so we cut some of the outdoor shooting short because I was trying to be nice and didn’t want everyone to sweat to death before the ceremony? Should I have taken pictures after the ceremony like normal people and then we could have been as sweaty as I asked them to be? Is it me?

This is what happens to me. I fall apart. I’m getting teary eyed right now because I just wanted these pictures to turn out how I thought they would.

And looking at others, I have no getting ready pictures because I got dressed at the gallery and already had my hair and makeup done, so by the time the photographer got there, I was ready. No fun pictures of the guys getting dressed.

I can’t think about this anymore. I’ll just have to see come Sunday. Maybe I’ll just steal other bride’s pictures and pretend their mine…



Filed under Freak Out Much?, wedding

12 responses to “Hand on the hip

  1. Okay, breathe!

    You’re fine! You’re married and wonderfully happy, no matter what those pictures look like.

    That being said, I’m sure your mother is over-reacting. Some of the pictures probably are similar – that’s what photographers do. They take lots of pictures in hopes that one will turn out just right.

    My photographer messed up photos from my actual wedding ceremony – read: I don’t have any from when we actually walked down the aisle or said the vows. We did some stand ups afterwards and those look just like the real thing. He got the family photos which were most important. In other words, the album does NOT look weird because he made it work.

    Just like your photographer will. It’ll be fine! 🙂

  2. I think it’s physically impossible for the pictures to be as bad as you believe them to be in your mind. So there’s that.

    And if nothing else, there’s always Photoshop.

    Ok joke. Sorry, not the right time.

    Honestly, I am sure they’ll be amazing. Hang in there!

  3. I am SO SORRY this happened. But I do agree that it’s possible your mom is overreacting. My bet is that you will find PLENTY of photos you love. Just try not to freak out until you see them.

    Photos are such a tough thing, because there’s only that “one chance” to capture everything, and if they suck… they suck. Like we had a great photographer, but because the gal who did my makeup was late, we don’t have any cute photos of me getting ready… and because she was late, we were all late, which cut the girls’ time to take bridesmaid photos short, so we have about 50 great photos of the groomsmen, but may 5 of the bridesmaids… and because I had to put my dress on at the church (instead of get it all wrinkly in the car), we didn’t get the lovely background that the groomsmen did. It’s enough to make me all bitter.

    BUT. There were TONS of good photos, even though I didn’t get all the “perfect” ones I wanted. And even though some aren’t fit for display, it’s fun to look through them and reminisce about everything. That’s the important part – remembering the day and how wonderful it was. Not every photo needs to be displayed, and I am positive you will find plenty that you love enough to put into frames.

    Take a few deep breaths. It will be okay!!!

  4. Oh and also – while moms can be our biggest cheerleaders, they can also be the ones who notice flaws that NO ONE else would ever notice. So there’s a good chance that little things that jump out at her won’t bug you or your husband.

    Okay – enough out of me!

  5. I’m going to say that my vote is that your photographer just included way too many similar ones and your mom was unprepared to see the photos unfiltered (like, a photographer’s blog? Probably includes just 1 or 2 photos from a set of 20 that look almost exactly alike, so that’s filtered. Your photographer probably just gave her everysingleshot). I have to say, having seen A LOT of people’s photos, that I am relieved my photographer only showed us 300ish. I’ve seen brides whose photographers uploaded seriously EVERY SINGLE SHOT THEY TOOK ALL NIGHT to the proofing webstie, and 75% are all the same, and it puts the responsibility of picking the best on the couple. I think this is what happened to you. Does this make any sense? I’m pretty sure there is nothing to worry about!!!

  6. you are all the best! And make me laugh. Today I have calmed down considerably, but still a little anxious to see them. I’m hoping my mom is just being the over critical mom and that they are fine. And it’s probably right that there are 5 of the same thing so that makes it more intimidating.

    Off to continue packing, move in two days and see these things in 3. Hoping they are wonderful. Either way, you will see them soon.

    Thank you again guys. I needed it.

    Ashley, I’ll be sending them to you for some photoshop editing as needed!

  7. If it makes you feel better, I wore a little too much make-up on our wedding day and Doug kind of freaked out. 😦

  8. Yes, lawschoolwife is exactly right! It’s called high-speed-continuous shooting and your photographer can take about 8 pictures per second, which guarantees that one of them will turn out perfect. If she included them all, you will have about a million pictures that look basically IDENTICAL. Don’t worry! It’s overwhelming, but you’ll be able to find a ton of them that you like. And they’ll be lots of variety. Do NOT second guess your wedding and your memories of how amazing it was just because you might not have the exact pictures you want or because your hand was on your hip in many of them. That’s YOU! Your pictures will be amazing, just like all the other pictures on her blog. Yes, pictures might be the only “physical” manifestation of your wedding years from now, but the pictures have nothing to do with the memory and emotion and happiness of your wedding day. Remember that. Keep that alive.

    • I know. I think it’s just most upsetting because I LOVED our wedding, and honestly, NOTHING went wrong, and this is the first thing with the slightest hiccup, so I guess it seems a bigger deal than it should be because it’s the only thing not perfect.

      I’m more over it now…I think it was just one of those days. And I do smile everytime I think about the wedding…love it…

  9. Ughhhh I hated my wedding pictures. Hated. Seriously. Then my sister in law used the same photog this past May and hers are insanely gorgeous. What gives?!?!?!

  10. I am dying to find out what happened with your photos. Were they better than you anticipated?

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