And here comes the s*** storm.

I knew this was too easy. I knew something had to go wrong. I knew it.

You know that other shoe that I was waiting to drop, it dropped.

So, we didn’t invite fiance’s aunts on his dad’s side for several reasons. 1. His dad doesn’t like them and isn’t even on speaking terms with one. 2. They have been nothing but rude and mean to fiance his whole life. 3. Fiance can’t remember the last time he talked to them. Our wedding has limited space and we didn’t want to invite people who would just cause problems…his aunt and his dad would probably get into a fight within the first hour. We don’t need that. Fiance even asked his dad when we were putting together a guest list who needed to be invited and he said that the aunts didn’t need to be invited.

Fast forward to yesterday. Fiance gets a phone call from his dad and basically the aunts are complaining that they didn’t get invited. The RSVP cards were due last weekend. His dad says they probably won’t come, but should be invited. WHAT?? We already asked him about this and these women are just mean. No other way to put it. And, in the 4 years we’ve been together and the number of family dinners they have had, they have invited fiance ONCE and me never. I could run into one and wouldn’t know who it was.

Well, to satisfy everyone, we’re inviting them to the reception we are having here in the town we currently live in. We were already having one because of limited space at the wedding, so that my mother in law’s friends could come and family that wouldn’t be able to make the drive. Whatever. I hope they don’t come because they will do nothing but start problems.

And then his brother.

I could write an entire book on his brother. 20 years old. Got kicked out of college because of his .5 GPA two semesters in a row. Pretty sure he’s been lying about turning in job applications. Sits at home all day doing nothing. It’s bad. And causing a lot of drama and stress for my MIL.

Well, brother has a girlfriend. An insanely immature girlfriend. Who still acts like she’s 13. And can’t seem to hold appropriate conversations. Ever. I mean, at dinner with MIL and fiance’s stepdad, her friend was talking about how much the different things at KFC cost (why, I have NO idea…again, the immaturity) and she says (and remember the audience and that she hasn’t been around for more than 2 months and they only were officially together for about a month now) “Well you can’t buy these breasts for $2.50” ans she cups her breasts at the dinner table.

When did people decide this was acceptable?? It’s not. Never ever ever.

So, no one likes her. Except the brother. She’s weird, can’t act right, wears clothes that are so inappropriate that when we went to lunch with MIL and brother and his girlfriend, I thought fiance was going to leave the restaurant because he was so embarrassed to be seen with her. I can’t even explain it.

And please don’t think I’m just being mean. I tried. I tried to talk to her and be nice, but it’s ridiculous. Act like your 20. And don’t make sex comments in front of your new boyfriend’s mom. The 3rd time you meet her.

Well, MIL decided she would not be coming to the wedding.

But then I get a text message last night from brother-in-law. (PS I know we’re not married, but since I won’t use their names, it’s MUCH easier to just say they’re my in-laws already.)

He asks me if there is space for a guest of his. My response: Ummm…I’m not sure. Ask your mom. I’m sure she would know.

It’s bad. Fiance is furious because we have A LOT going on the weekend of the wedding. Rehearsal dinner Sat., wedding Sunday, which is an ALL day event, then baseball tickets for Monday’s game with a bunch of the family…along with all the errands and running around that needs to happen. And all they will want to do is running around and playing tourist since they aren’t from the city and we don’t need to worry about them getting lost because he has NO sense of direction, getting to places on time, and being in a good mood and acting like the grown up he is.

It’s a problem. And one that I don’t know the answer to. We don’t have any extra ballgame tickets for her. We were planning on putting his brother at the table with his parents so he would be more comfortable, so that then puts her at one of the head tables.

I don’t want to be rude, but fiance is so very against her being there and I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to put my MIL in a bad position, but I also don’t want anything unnecessarily making the fiance mad or uncomfortable that weekend. He’s already stressed. Don’t need anything more.

Why now? A month beforehand and we have to get stuff to the caterer at the beginning of next week.

We’re supposed to go to the MIL’s in a little bit, so I guess we’ll see how it goes. It just makes me uncomfortable.

Enough whining. Other than I burnt myself to death at the tanning bed yesterday. I’m a lobster. Won’t be getting anymore color for a while.

What would you do? Did you have any family drama when it came to your wedding? How did you deal?

{New} Teacher {New} Wife

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3 Comments

Filed under Normal Family?, wedding

3 responses to “And here comes the s*** storm.

  1. My solution is: Do what causes you (and fiance) the least amount of stress.

    If it were me, I would tell the aunts that you’re just not financially able to invite everyone you’d like to invite. We didn’t invite my MIL’s sisters because there’s a huge rift in their family…by the time the wedding rolled around, they had improved their relationship, but we still didn’t invite them. If they’d asked, I would’ve given them this (not exactly accurate) excuse.

    My policy is: try to keep the peace in the immediate family if at all possible; it’s less stress in the long run. However, in this case, since you have already made arrangements for all of your wedding weekend activities, I wouldn’t see anything wrong with telling BIL that it’s just too late to make changes. (Avoidable last-minute changes are a big pet peeve of mine anyway.)

    But seriously, do what causes you the least amount of stress.

    http://meredithsheffield.blogspot.com

  2. Oh girrrrrrl… I feel you on the drama. We were lucky to not have huge amounts. But a little bit feels like a lot when you are already stressed with all the details.

    For most of it, I tried to be stubborn. Like, digging in my heels, this is the way it’s going to be. But in the end, the other party was more stubborn and I gave in, despite the fact that I HATED GIVING IN.

    And guess what? It turned out okay.

    I think that you have to protect your husband-to-be, first of all. If something is going to make him more stressed out – like the girlfriend – then say no. But if it’s going to drive a wedge between him and his brother? Maybe you can appeal to the brother to make sure his girlfriend is on her very best behavior that day. Or you could designate a friend to keep the girlfriend away from you, your husband, and your MIL.

    It sounds like you made the right choice with the aunts situation. Even though your FIL is being kind of wishy washy, maybe he decided it wasn’t worth it to exclude them. I generally agree. You’ll be so high on marrying your hubby and there will be so many other people for you to interact with that you will probably not notice they are there.

    I think just keep in mind that sometimes it’s easier to bend to someone else’s CRAZY wishes than to create bad blood with your new family.

    I promise you, it is going to be okay. At the end of the day, you will be married to your sweetheart!!! That is worth all the stress and annoying relatives and inappropriate girlfriends in the world.

  3. YOU are the bride. It’s your day. Think of it this way….a wedding is a day. A marriage a lifetime. Who will be there for BOTH the wedding and the marriage?

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