I was in a pretty good mood earlier today.
Went and walked a couple miles this morning. Cleaned some in the apartment. Hung out with the boy. Just a good day.
I then decided I was going to work on our wedding ceremony. I have to figure it out since we aren’t doing things the traditional way, but still want some traditional elements. Your advice (thank you for the tips and guiding me in the right way) and using the website http://www.meweddingvows.com helped a lot. I practically have the whole ceremony layed out, which I thought was pretty impressive for two hours worth of work. Also, I haven’t been to a wedding in about 8 years, so I really didn’t know what to do.
I was excited. And since Fiance is at night class, I figured I would call my mom and talk to her about it. She has been asking me about working out the ceremony, so I thought she would be happy and we could go over it.
Backstory: was going to school/still currently living in state A. I am from/ and wedding will be in state B. I also was finishing my last semester of classes (22 hours…yuck) last spring, full time job in the summer, and student teaching in the fall, which is just an unpaid full-time (plus some) job. Then, I got the teaching job this spring and I have been very busy. Believe me. I LOVE weddings, but not getting home till 5, and having to be in bed by 9 or 9:30, doesn’t leave a lot of time for intense wedding planning.
Here’s where Mom comes in. My mom works full time. My older brother has not gotten married yet, so I am the first wedding, and I’m a girl, so my mom dove in head first. Which I truly appreciated, and STILL appreciate. She has used A LOT of time and energy and personal days from work to plan this wedding. This was still fiance and my wedding, but mom did the leg work. She would call/e-mail websites/pictures/links/contracts/ideas/etc constantly and sk what I wanted or check with me before doing ANYTHING.
Fiance and I have picked everything out and love it all. Some of my friends seem to think that because Mom is helping, she is taking over. Not true at all.
So, mom has done A LOT. More than a lot. Practically ALL the leg work because I am 250 miles away from where this will all take place and getting good grades and finishing school were a number one priority in my family.
Also, mom has had to pinch and save more than dad has to pay for her half of the wedding, which has added stress to her. But I always tell her I’m grateful and appreciate everything.
Back to phone call.
Me: Hey mom. I think I figured out the wedding ceremony. Man, this wedding stuff stresses me out. haha
Mom: Well good. Because you haven’t done squat so it’s about time someone else gets a little stressed about this.
Me: –silence– followed by instant tears
I know she has done a lot. I KNOW THIS. But i have done a fair amount of research and ENDLESS conversations on the phone with her discussing EVERY detail of this event. Even down to the stamps we put on the invitations and rsvp cards. (That was half an hour in itself.)
I know she has done a lot, but at the same time, if she is going to be resentful and mean, then don’t do it and I will figure it out.
Geeze. All I wanted to do was talk about the ceremony.
So frustrating. I try to work on it and try to figure stuff out, and then it all gets slammed back into my face. Wonderful.
So, unless you are going to do it all/pay for it all, just elope. It’s easier and you will be happier.
(I don’t want to elope, I just want some of this drama to quit. 54 more days….)
New Teacher. New Wife.