This first post is stressing me out.

Not sure where to start. What to say. Where to stop.

So I will probably ramble. Bear with me. Hopefully they will become more cohesive as I get the hang of this.

So here goes.

Being sick is never fun. It’s even worse when you’re the teacher. I’ve been struggling to fight off something, but it won’t go away. I went to school Monday and Tuesday, but today I woke up and thought there was an elephant sitting on my chest, so I decided to stay home.

Most people think, “Hey. Even though I don’t feel good, I get a day at home to rest.” Well, when you’re in a job where others rely on you, it gets a little more complicated.

First off, I had to wake up early enough to call the person who calls substitutes. I felt so guilty calling in. I felt like she was thinking, “This girl isn’t sick. She just wants a day off.”

I’m not like that.  Not that I don’t want days off, but I am such a rule-follower, that it takes a lot for me to stay home. I’ve felt guilty all day long. Why?? Who knows.

Then, I had to e-mail in my sub plans because I obviously didn’t plan on not being there. Remind you, all of this at like 5:30am when I can’t breathe, my head is pounding and all I want to do is go to sleep.

I type out this long extravagent e-mail with all the details any sub would need. I press send….and my e-mail server timed me out.

I spent about 20 minutes on this darn e-mail and it gets erased.

I almost started crying. I considered just letting the sub figure out something on his/her own, but I decided I couldn’t be that mean to someone who is stepping in to take over my classes. (I’ll explain more about the little angels demons I teach.)

I rewrote it. Kind of. I definitely didn’t put all the details in it like I had the first time. All day I have worried about if I forgot something.

So much for rest and relaxation.

And what happened to getting taken care of while sick? I miss being a little kid and your mom set you up on the couch. She would put in my favorite Disney movie and bring me peanut butter sandwiches or juice or medicine and hang out with me all day. Now, I have to do it all myself.

Well, not entirely by myself. My fiance did try to help out while he could. Poor thing is trying to finish his master’s (he started in August and will be done by this August. Yes, probably about 2 weeks before law school starts. He’s a champ.) But, he had a day class and a night class and a quiz in both, so he needed to study.

So tomorrow, no matter what, it’s back to school for me. I will probably stay late to finish up on some things because I don’t do well when I try to do them at home. I usually get distracted. Most the time, by this cute boy I know…

*Note: I am taking the route of some other bloggers that I follow. I don’t think I will be revealing who I am for several reasons. 1. I am a teacher. I don’t need students/parents/colleagues finding this. I want to be able to vent about different things and not worry about who knows me. 2. My fiance is a very private person and he would not want his personal life spilled for everyone to see, especially when we are about to start a new chapter in a new place. I’m sure something will slip here and there, but I am trying to be anonymous. We’ll see how it goes.

Off to iron clothes for tomorrow and get some rest. Goodnight!

New teacher/wife

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