Category Archives: Wannabe former couch potato

Brick Wall

I have hit a wall.

And not a good wall. Not one where I’ve made progress, but now feel blocked. I would have a good attitude about that because at least some progress had been made.

Nope. I hit the wall that was about three feet from the starting line.

This metaphorical wall has to do with working out.

I don’t know what’s going on.

I had been making some progress with the C25K program during the semester, but then the last month happened and I nearly had a meltdown so any and all forms of exercise went out the window.

Hard to get to the gym when you are spending 12-18 hours a day in your office.

Yeah…we are going to hope that never happens again.

So I wanted to get started again this summer. I would have free time and could get into a schedule.

But then these every. single. day. headaches started and I was miserable.

Eventually, I made myself go anyways. I was hoping exercise would help.

And maybe it would have, except I can’t seem to do a damn thing.

Running for a minute feels like the hardest thing on the planet. Lifting weights isn’t very productive because I don’t know how to do much other than a couple arm things and the people that work in our weight room are either super bitchy girls that are just there to flirt or guys who think there’s no point helping me since I’m not trying to bench 100+ pounds.

The personal training sessions are OUTRAGEOUS and they are will students. While I understand this is the field they are going into, most of them are body builders that can eat 3 large pizzas and not gain an ounce. Maybe that’s not how they act, but they intimidate the shit out of me. I’ve also seen a few of them working with other people, and I’ve seen them make fun of their client to their friends when the client isn’t looking.

Sorry, not paying the money to feel even worse about myself.

I’m just frustrated. I’m not in a good place with it all.

I’m mad because I got myself to this point, and I’m mad because I can’t seem to do a damn thing about it.

I;m trying to seriously watch what I eat,but Mr. A (unknowingly) is sabotaging me.

See, Mr. A has gotten into power lifting/body building. (I know. How the HELL did the two of us end up together?! I ask this all the time…)

The boy HAS to eat 5000 calories a day in order to continue making gains. And he’s so serious about all of this that he is in the gym every day, counting out how much protein to make sure het gets enough.

But he can eat whatever he wants as long as he gets enough protein.

Also, he eats like 6 meals a day.

And not small meals. Normal people sized meals, 6 times a day.

Please tell me how that’s supposed to help me who is cutting down on stuff and can’t eat two Big Macs at 10pm? (And yes. He did that the other week. And I of course wanted something too. )

I love food. I do. I love carbs. They are glorious. I have shitty eating habits. I’m fully aware of this.

So while he says he will try to eat better with me, it doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t.

I’m about to tell him he can’t eat his extra meals or unhealthy things in the house because I can’t handle it. But that’s not fair to him and it’s his home too, so here I am.

I’m trying some new things today. Going to see how I feel about a cycle yoga class. I’ve never done yoga so this might go horribly. Who knows.

Also doesn’t help that the classes offered are few and at bizarre times.

Can I just have lipo now??

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Filed under A little More About Me, Freak Out Much?, Wannabe former couch potato

Running Noob

I…am not what people consider “athletic”.

I was the kid on speech team and in choir and plays and was friends with all sorts of athletic people. I just wasn’t one of them.

Neither of my parents are sporty, but they were both born with amazing genes and they have metabolisms of race horses. My brother inherited the same, so growing up, good eating habits were not instilled in me.

But I’m sure you are thinking that if both my parents have awesome metabolisms, then I should too, right? Nope. They seem to be rarities in their family and their siblings are heavier. And I’ve always taken after my aunts. I love them, but why did I have to inherit hips, a low metabolism, and migraines??

So now I’m in my mid 20s and REALLY not happy with how I look and I know I’m not healthy.

And while I’ve tried to get healthy plenty of other times, they all seemed to fail for no other reason than I enjoy food, and typically bad food. And working out does not come naturally to me. It’s a struggle and I tend to hate it the entire time.

However, I have recently gotten addicted to one program and that is the Couch 2 5K program.

I LOVE IT.

I had tried and failed the program in the past, but something in me changed this time and I was determined to follow and finish it. I am on week 5 and so happy with the progress I am seeing. Seriously. If it can get ME to run, it can get ANYONE to run.

I’m slightly nervous about this week, though. Today wasn’t bad, but tomorrow I have to run in 8 minute intervals. While a little daunting, it seems doable.

But on Thursday- 25 minutes!!!!!!

The longest I will have ever run continuously in my life will have been 8 minutes, and then I jump to 25?!

It seem impossible.

But I’ve put full faith into this program and I plan on doing my absolute best on Thursday. I’m really hoping I can do it, but I won’t let it defeat me if I have to take a couple 30 sec breaks.

Also, I’ve been running on the treadmills at the gym. I know eventually I will be running outside, but since I am so out of shape, I figured it would be easier to become a better runner by starting on a treadmill where I can monitor my speed.

I also discovered that some of the treadmills have televisions built into them and they are connected to all the cable channels, even the HD ones. So today I got my Bravo fix while working out. This is amazing since we don’t have cable, so one more motivating factor to keep me going while I’m getting used to running. Hoping to find a movie on Thursday so I won’t get bored during commercial breaks.

But to make sure that I keep going, next week I am planning on finding and registering for a 5K so that I have to keep practicing and getting better. I’m hoping to finish the program on the treadmill and then start running outside to get prepared for my race. Might also be an excuse to buy some cute running clothes because I certainly can’t show up to a race in my current gym attire of cheapo yoga pants and an old tshirt that is either too big or so faded and stained that I’m kind of embarrassed I’m willing to wear it outside of my house. Now who wants to make me a hilarious sign to keep me going instead of passing out halfway through the race? :o)

So, if you are considering getting into running, I saw give this one a try. And even if you have quit it in the past, like I did (several times), try again. If I am loving running and how I’m feeling after, I am a believer that it will work for anyone.

And yes this post sounds like an infomercial, but this blog is where I share my life, and this is a new, big, and exciting part of my life, so I share it.

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Filed under A little More About Me, Wannabe former couch potato

Dogs-1 Me- 0

I have a lot of irrational fears. Spiders. Dark bathrooms. Clawfoot tubs. (In every horror movie if something happens in a tub, it’s a clawfoot. I’m sure this is for shooting purposes since it’s not embedded into the wall, but still. They terrify me and I refuse to use them.) Bugs in general- especially ones that fly- butterflies are not cute. Things under my bed. Haunted houses. Clowns. Creepy children.

Most of these can be reasoned out. Like the clawfoot tubs. No? Well, it makes sense to me. And after the Great Spider Infestation of 2009, you would be afraid of them also.

Unfortunately, I have an irrational fear that most of you are going to laugh at me for. It’s okay. Even my husband thinks it’s dumb. And it is. But that’s why it’s an irrational fear. If it was rational, then I wouldn’t have this blog post to write about.

I’m irrationally afraid of dogs I don’t know.

I shall pause for laughter. This could take a while…

And yes, I am the girl who wrote an entire post about what type of dog I want. And I do want a dog. More than anything.

But I will be getting that dog when it’s a puppy so I can learn about it’s personality when it’s small and cute and not scary. Then, when it’s bigger (especially the Airedale), it will be MY dog and I won’t be scared of it. At least that’s the logic behind it.

So, back to the problem.

If it’s a dog I don’t know, I’m pretty well terrified of it, especially if it’s more than a foot tall.

I have to be introduced to the dog, by its owner, and then feel comfortable around the dog and not get any weird vibes that it might turn around and rip my face off at any moment, and then I love the dog. Once I’m past that and it’s a nice dog, I’m sold. I’ll want to play with it all night. Take it home. Cuddle with it. But until then? I will run away.

And today, that’s literally what I did. I ran away.

I’m so embarrassed.

I was doing my run route, which involves more walking than running, but I’m working on it. And today, I was kicking ass. I had run more than I ever had. I had a great running playlist going. And I was less than a quarter mile from being back at our apartment, and I decided to run more. I had energy and was ready to go.

Well, on this stretch of road, there’s a water sanitation plant. We walk by it every time we walk to our favorite bar or to campus and I’ve done this route several times now and I go right by it. When we first walked by, I was hesitant since it had a “Beware of Dog” sign. But everytime, either I didn’t see a dog or it was in it’s dog house and not paying attention to me at all.

So today, didn’t even blink. I was running, Eminem blasting in my headphones, pushing me to push harder, and I glance in the fenced in area out of the corner of my eye, and I see it. A HUGE Rottweiler, which is one of the several breeds that scare the crap out of me, and some other huge dog that I couldn’t tell what it was.

And they were running, full force, right at me.

Yes, there was a fence between me and them, but the sidewalk is right next to it and too close for my own comfort.

And did I just not look and run a little faster to get past them? Did I try to tune out the sounds of their angry barks and just try to keep going?

Nope. That would have been the rational thing to do.

What do I do?

I stop. Dead in my tracks. And turn and run back the direction I came from. And I was close to a busy intersection, so everyone saw me.

I was mortified. I am mortified. I am 23 years old. The dogs were behind a freaking fence for pete sake. And I couldn’t just keep going.

Sadly, I have a history of this. Running away from dogs behind fences.

My mom’s house is crazy close to my elementary and middle school. Like, my mom could watch me walk the whole way from our backyard. Kitchen window if the corn wasn’t growing in the field. Less than a quarter mile. There was even a dirt path for the kids in my neighborhood. It followed the edge of the field and then the side of the road that ran in front of school. When the corn was tall, it was a little strange because you felt cut off from everything.

Along this path was a house with a bull mastiff. You know, this dog:

mastiff

And this is just its head. These dogs are just massive. And scary. Another breed I’ll never own.

Well, this path, much like the sidewalk today, runs right next to the fence. And this dog has the meanest bark I have ever heard. And when it’s charging at the fence, you’re convinced it’s going to jump right over, just like the dog in The Sandlot, and eat you whole. And I wasn’t lucky enough for the fence to be a tall wooden one. Nope. A chainlink fence that isn’t too much higher than my waist. And this dogs head come to the top of it.

There were many crying fits on my half because of this dog. (We later decided that it had to be blind for it to not jump the fence and he would only start barking and running toward you if you made noise. And dogs hear really well. I tried all the time to be silent.)

So when the corn wasn’t in, I would cut out into the field to make this huge half circle away from the dog and his ferocious barking. The person who help the stop sign when we crossed the street would yell at me every time I did it, but there was no way I was walking by that beast. And when the corn was up and I couldn’t cut out into the field? Lots of crying, running as fast as humanly possible, and asking my mom for a ride to school. And I had to walk to school from 1st-8th grade.

I don’t exactly know where this comes from. We can come up with 2 incidents, but I can’t personally remember either. Both happened when I was about 3 or 4. Once, we were having a family BBQ in the backyard and a neighbor’s dog got lose and came tearing around the corner and knocked into me, which knocked me over and probably scared the crap out of me. The other, we were at a long time family friend’s for a BBQ (lots of BBQs apparently), and he had a huge dog. It’s name was Viking and while it was fluffy like a malamute, it had mastiff in it I think and it was also crazy. Like, even the owner said it had to have a screw lose. And Viking somehow broke out of his enclosure, came tearing around the house, and I guess because I was small, jumped onto the lawn chair I was sitting in, putting his paws on either side of me and being right in my face.

These two incidents must have left some sort of mark on my subconscious because I also have incidents of climbing people to get away from dogs. Once, I climbed my brother while walking to the bus stop at my dad’s when a dog got lose and another time we were at a different long time friend’s house and they, knowing I was terrified of big dogs, put their very hyper dog behind the fence. As were were standing outside, the dog kept jumping (and this was a tall wooden fence) and all of a sudden, she made it over the fence, and before anyone knew what was happening, and without any help, I was sitting on my dad’s shoulder pulling my feet up as high as I could so the dog couldn’t get me. Turns out, I loved that dog after I got older and she calmed down.

This fear has ruined lots of things and I have had to ask people to put their dog in another room, which is just rude of me and I know it. It’s terrible. And I’m afraid I’m going to end up scared of my own dog.

So for now, I stick to cute little puppies and dogs I know. And work on a new running route.

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Filed under Freak Out Much?, Wannabe former couch potato, WTF

Carrot in Front of the Horse

My little weight loss journey has actually been going quite well. Which is surprising since in the past, I would have given up by day 2.

About 3.5 weeks in and I am down about 13 pounds. Lots more to go, but it’s definitely a start.

In the past, I wouldn’t see the results quick enough and I just quit, but this time, I’m giving myself the time I know it’s going to take and I’m very determined for this to happen. Not only am I tired of the way I look, but I also know I need to do it for my health. Even when I want to have children (years from now people. Don’t be thinking those thoughts on me. I don’t need it to rub off please) it is more difficult and sometimes more dangerous if significantly overweight. My mom’s labor and delivery didn’t go well, and if anything about being pregnant is genetic, then I need to give myself the best chances possible.

Also, I want to wear shorts this summer because jeans in 100 degree weather with 98% humidity is pretty miserable, let me tell you.

But, sometimes you need a little motivation.

So, Mr. A and I have set up a few little treats, or carrots, for me as I reach some milestones. And no, I’m not doing this for presents. I’m doing this for me. I actually don’t talk about this much with Mr. A because in the past, I would talk it all up and then it would fall through and I would feel like an even bigger failure because now other people knew I hadn’t held up my end of the bargain. This weight loss journey is all me. No one else. (But I do have a pretty sweet support group, both through all of you who read and comment, and with 2 wonderful women who have been a god send.)

tiffanys (Source)

You see that little blue/turquoise box?

Yeah. I’ve been dreaming of one of those for as long as I knew what it meant. Something beautiful and shiny and not something everyone has. I used to joke that he could buy me something cheap and as long as it came inside a real Tiffany’s box, I would be happy.

Well, and I didn’t ask for it- he came up with it all on his own. Promise. Mr. A has said that when I reach my goal of losing 85 pounds, this little box, along with something from the amazing store, will be mine. Eeep!!

I couldn’t be more excited. And no, probably no diamonds will be involved because after looking over their website, anything with diamonds is way more than I would ask Mr. A to ever spend on me. But I love their inital charm necklaces and they have a few bracelets that I like and not too pricey.

Also, my husband has said that once I lose the weight, he would take me on a shopping spree to Victoria’s Secret. Again, all his idea. (He is a guy.) I think he always sees me walk by the windows and wish I could wear some things from there and not look ridiculous. I could get bras there I guess, but if I don’t feel comfortable walking around in it, no use paying the money for it.

Something else I’m going to do for myself once I hit 50 is to buy a custom, or at least personalized, blog design. This one is just from WordPress’s backgrounds and I want something more fun and more me. So if you know of any company or person that does this, let me know. This blog has become pretty important to me and I’m ready for it to look a little more like me.

And this last one may not exactly be a reward and more of another motivator, but Mr. A has something up his sleeve in the way of a trip to celebrate our 1 year anniversary. And while I may not be in a 2 piece, I hope to feel more comfortable walking around in a swimsuit and not crying in the fitting rooms because nothing fits or everything just accentuates the bad parts. I think feeling comfortable in my own skin is going to be the greatest reward.

Of course, new clothes will need to be bought here and there. Tonight I bought a new (and first) pair of skinny jeans in a size smaller than I had been wearing. I also bought a new top and can’t wait to wear it with my boots I got a couple months ago. (I had store credit and a gift card- only reason I bought it because I’m trying not to spend too much money on things I hope I won’t be wearing for too terribly much longer.)

I can’t get too excited because this is going to take some time, but it’s nice knowing there will be a few rewards for my hard work at the end.

 

 

Rewards for losing weight.

Tiffanys, Victoria Secret, blog overhaul, trip,

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Filed under Life After College, Wannabe former couch potato

The Treadmill

In undergrad, a girl I had classes with, wrote an editorial for the school newspaper. Never before had an article angered me so much.

She was on the cross-country team and, therefore, was in super shape. I always saw her running and working out. No doubt she was dedicated and worked hard.

But her article?

It showed up in the paper a week or so after school resumed for the spring semester. So probably late January/early February.

It was about how she wished the fat people and their resolutions that they would never keep would get out of her gym.

I’ll let you pause and soak that in for a minute in case you glazed over that.

She wrote about how annoyed she was at the influx of students in the wellness center when she returned from Christmas break. She was aggravated that she couldn’t get a treadmill immediately since it was too cold to be running outside. She hated how the machines were fuller, so her workout routine was interrupted. It irked her that she had to wait to use weights or the balls or that the yoga mats were taken. She wanted the new people out since they obviously weren’t going to stick with this new routine. She wanted her gym back so her and her friends, who actually worked out all year, could get back to their fitness regimens.

……………

It gets better.

She talked about how these people, (I can’t continue to call them fat and overweight and obese like she did) needed to learn to not eat so many calories. She discussed how eating fried food was the cause of their weight issues and they needed to stop shoving their faces full of it.

However, she could eat a double cheeseburger if she wanted since she ran so much that she worked off the calories. Yes, she said how much she could eat, but you couldn’t.

Sadly, this isn’t an exaggeration.

Yes, I know, as do most people, that to lose weight, you need to burn more calories than you eat, or at leats you can’t eat more than you will burn. Got it. Thanks for the science lesson.

But the attitude associated with the article infuriated me.

She wanted to bash the overweight, never taking into consideration outside factors. (I believe she said she thought thyroid issues and genetic claims for obesity were a cop out and people needed to get over it.) She couldn’t understand how anyone could let themselves become overweight or anything like that. Well, I’m super glad she takes care of herself and works out.

But you can’t yell at them for it and also tell them to get out of your gym.

Even worse? It’s not just her.

Since the new year has begun, I have seen people on Twitter and Facebook say very similar things. Annoyed that there are more people on treadmills and machines, they say they wish the people would just give up already so they could get on with their workouts.

Unfortunately, I’m one of the new people on the treadmills.

I’m one of the ones taking up your machines and apparently, wasting your time.

So I guess I should just give up and quit, right?

Luckily, I know better and refuse to let the haters get to me. At least when it comes to me using the gym. I am determined to lose weight and get in shape. I’ve got an amazing little support group. I’m counting calories. I’m working out 4 or more days a week. I’m going to do this. I have amazing support and I’m finally in a place to ignore the mean out there and do what I need to do for me.

But what about others? Maybe they don’t have the support. Maybe they have friends and family calling them fatty and telling them they will fail.

They get the nerve to go to the gym, which can be INCREDIBLY intimidating if you’re not a size 4. Believe me. I know. Especially if they aren’t familiar with the setup or the equipment. It’s daunting. And the last thing any person struggling with weight issues wants is to fumble with the  equipment because it just makes them feel like everyone is looking at them and judging them. I’ve done it and it feels like it’s just a red target on your forehead, showing that I  didn’t know what I was doing in the gym and obviously hadn’t been there in a while.

So they get there, they get on their treadmill, figure out the 50 different buttons and start. And then someone walks in, probably someone very fit, and they give them the evil glare since the treadmills are taken up. I’ve been the victim of this and I have walked out of the gym because a girl stood behind me and my sweaty ass as I worked hard just to do a couple miles and she kept audibly sighing and tapping her Nike clad foot at me. And no, I didn’t go home and do sit-ups. I was so upset that I ate my feelings.

And I’m not trying to preach. I can understand it being frustrating when your usual routine is interrupted. I was always annoyed when the new freshmen would come in and just play on the equipment when I really wanted to work out. I totally get it. But maybe, try to understand that they are trying to better themselves and they could use as much support as possible?

After the outpouring of support from my blog readers when I wrote about my weight struggles, I doubt any of you would be like that. You have been fantastic and I couldn’t even begin to thank you all for it.

So the next time a new person is on your treadmill or machine, maybe you could use that as opportunity to try a new workout class. Or a new machine. Or a new workout routine. They say the best way to work muscles is to do new exercises and keep the muscles guessing! See, it will benefit everyone!

And I know a polite smile from someone would do wonders for my motivation…

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Filed under Life After College, Wannabe former couch potato

Walk of Shame

This isn’t going to be easy to write. This is fun to write. I really wish I wasn’t writing it.

So, I’m sure you’re asking, “Then why the hell ARE you writing it?!”

Because I no longer have a choice.

Yes, in the abstract sense, I do have a choice, but in my mind, I don’t.

I have to write this to shame myself into doing something about it.

I know, I know. It’s the time of New Year’s resolutions and everyone says they are going to lose weight. And while some people are rude and say that no one ever sticks to it, if that is your New Year’s resolution, good for you. I will be cheering for you and wishing you the best. The people who are rude from the start always upset me because they know nothing about you and your struggles or back story. So from me to you, good luck. And if you slip up, it’s okay. Get back on. I believe in you.

And I, like you, have made the same resolution. Only I don’t like calling them resolutions.

This is my very serious goal. I absolutely HAVE to do something about it.

I know I’ve written about this in the past, but always in vague terms. Yes I need to lose weight. But as I read other blogs and Twitter comments and talked to people, I realized that “need to lose weight” means a lot of different things to different people. To some, it’s 10 or 15 pounds. To others it’s 200.

For me, it’s 85. And no, that won’t put me at anorexic status. It will bring me down to 135, which is where I should be.

So yes, I have very serious weight to lose.

And you also might ask why I’m posting this for all to see?

Because if I don’t, I will keep living in denial. I will keep on the same path. I will keep believing that it’s not that bad.

It is that bad. It’s been such a problem and source of embarrassment. It absolutely crushes me.

Throughout all of this unemployment and job problems, I’ve talked about my lack of self- esteem. And yes, a lot of the recent depressed feelings about myself do stem from the job situation. But, if I’m honest, my weight plays a huge part in all of this.

In high school, I thought I was big. Looking back, I was so very wrong, but I didn’t think that. All of my girl friends were TINY and one of my best friends had some eating issues, which I never really realized until after we went separate ways and I was looking back on the friendship and how very unhealthy it was for me. It didn’t help that I was a good six inches taller, so I was naturally going to weigh more.

My freshman year of college I weighed the lowest. I had developed some not to great eating habits of my own the summer before and the new freedom just meant my parents weren’t watching me to see if I was eating dinner.

But then sophomore year happened, my parents yanked me home because of grades, and it all collapsed around me. I was depressed. I didn’t talk to anyone at home. Not an exaggeration. I made it so that as few people as humanly possible even knew I wasn’t at MSU. I was always visiting Mr. A and such, which meant eating out and drinking. And when I was home, I sat on my bed, with my computer, and watched tv. I did, literally, nothing. And the weight piled on. I probably gained no less than 40 pounds that year alone.

And it just continued to pile on. I turned 21. I liked/still like to drink and I was all about going out and partying with friends, which usually meant going out to eat beforehand. And I learned that throwing up salad after a long night of vodka and beer pong wasn’t fun. So I would carbo-load before going out. And because I was friends with guys, I drank a lot of beer. So carbs on top of carbs on top of not doing much activity.

You know the story.

It’s embarrassing. Absolutely embarrassing. I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times I’ve broken down in tears in changing rooms because clothes didn’t fit or I had to go up a size or a zipper broke when trying on a dress. If I had to create my own personal hell, it would be a changing room with clothes that will never fit and always look bad, but I had to find a way to wear them.

My husband is a very sweet man. But he’s also a very sweet man who can eat what he wants. He may complain about his weight, but he hits the gym or goes for one of his 50 mile bike rides (which isn’t even his longest and he loves doing it) and it’s gone. He’s built a little stocky since he’s a little shorter, but he can lose any weight in no time. Also, after he works out, he can eat anything he wants.

And he tries to help me. But for some reason, whenever he brings up working out more or eating better or gives me a look when i reach for the chips, it breaks my heart. I crumble into a sobbing puddle. I know he means nothing mean by it, but I can’t take it from him. I also can’t workout at the gym with him. He’s also the first person I will get angry with and it ends with a huge blowup.

But I also know my weight problems make him unhappy. Not in a way that he loves me less, but my struggles make it nearly impossible for me to just let loose or be the person I was when he met me. The confident girl who felt sexy and attractive and who knew that his eyes were only on me. And as much as he says he loves me no matter what, I can’t help but think that he has to notice other girls and wish I looked like them. Not the skinny as a rail models, but the healthy girls who can wear a swimsuit and not feel the need to be covered every minute they’re not in the water.

I want to be more for him. I want to do better for him. I don’t want him to think he made a mistake in marrying me.

And the most devastating is looking at pictures. Pictures from this Christmas just made me sick. I think I tricked myself into believing it wasn’t that bad. I wear my “skinny outfits”, thinking I look good and then a picture shows up and I look terrible. I walk by mirrors at work and I think, “It looked better when I was at home.” It is that bad. I promise you. And I need to face the music on my own problems here.

Even worse, wedding pictures. A girl is supposed to look back at her wedding pictures and love them. They are supposed to remind her of the amazing day shared with friends and family as she married her best friend.

I see the fat rolls on my arms or how wide I looked in my dress or how chunky my face looks. I try so hard to look past that, but I just can’t.

And I know a girl who had the exact same dress and seeing her pictures make it worse. Yes, she’s like six feet tall and super skinny, but I can’t help at think how much better she looked in the dress than I did.

So this is why I’m writing this.

To get back to the girl I know I was and can be, if I can just shed some of this weight and feel better, not only about my appearance, but also just feel healthier. I no longer have a choice.

I put it out there. I can’t turn back now.

I’m not turning this into a weight loss blog because I will need my escape. But I hope to do updates. Good or bad. I will feel accountable to you.

And if you are someone who is in shape, or maybe only has 5 pounds to lose, I hope you can understand where I’m coming from. I’m cheering for all of you and hope you can cheer for me too. This isn’t going to be easy or even fun all the time, but I’m hoping to get there this year.  I want more for myself this year, and this is where I’m starting.

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Filed under Life After College, Married Life, Wannabe former couch potato, What to do?

A Little of This…

…a little of that…

I’ve felt a little lost for blog content, but I want to take The Pioneer Woman’s advice and make sure to blog at least everyday.

So, here I am.

American Wife

  • I’ve been reading this book. Several of you told me it was one of your favorites. Reading the summary, it looked like a story I would love. Are you sensing my hesitation?? The book…it’s dragging. I have about 40 pages left and I will finish it, but it’s been tedious. The story as a whole: yes. It’s intriguing. But I thought this was more about a woman who entered the White House as the President’s wife, but didn’t really want to. Didn’t fit in. As someone who answered that I would love to be Michelle Obama for a day to see what it’s really like to live in the White House, I was so excited about this. But, (and if you are planning to read this, maybe skip to my next bullet) only the last section is about her time in the White House. Also, the first 3 sections are fairly sequential. They will mention past events or give a little anecdote to supplement what is happening, but mostly it’s in order. The last section? Bounces all over. You never see what it was like during the campaign. The time is 2008, but most of the last section spends its time in the previous years. Throwing in tidbits that are important to the story, but apparently not important enough to actually be in the story. It just frustrates me. I feel she knew she wanted this story to include time in the White House, but she let the rest of the story go on too long, so it got shoved into the end of the book. Maybe the last 40 pages will save it? Maybe?

 

  • I made these sloppy joes tonight. AhMahZing. I mean, you think sloppy joes and think, eh. No no. Not these bad boys. They are a little spicy, but not too much. The spice adds flavor and isn’t hot just to be hot. We didn’t dice our onions or red peppers to small, so they were chunky and so absolutely wonderful. Put on a whole wheat bun-yummm. I had extras even though I was already stuffed. I was planning on doing a recipe recap next week after I make all the meals listed in my food post, but these were so good, they deserve two mention.

 

  • I’ve been pretty good about going to the gym everyday and doing 30-45 minutes on the elliptical. I’ve realized I can go longer and do more on the elliptical than the treadmill. While this is great, especially for this lazy couch potato, I know it’s not enough to lose the weight I want to. However, the workout machines and weights aren’t my cup of tea. There’s the “meat house”- the older machines, bench presses, huge free weights. And I have yet to see a girl in there. When I walked in to find Mr. A the other day, everyone stared and looked at me like I wasn’t supposed to be there. The other area is set up awkwardly, they have machines I’ve never seen before, but always too many people around for me to feel comfortable to try and test them out. Also, the only set of freeweights that I could use, meaning the pretty colored less heavy ones, are in a room that I haven’t figured out if I’m allowed in. It’s where you can sign up for personal training, get metabolic and fitness tests run, and those types of things. I just want to use their weights.  So, after hearing about Sarah in the Big City using Jillian Michael’s 30 Day Shred, I decided to try it out. However, I have learned to do my cardio AFTER the video. I tried it the other way around today and I couldn’t get through the first 5 minutes because I was so tired already from the gym. I’ll let you know if I decide I hate Jillian Michaels or not.

 

  • Mr. A’s best friend’s surprise birthday party is this weekend. Kind of excited to see them again since we haven’t seen them since we moved. Not sure if or what to get him as a birthday present. This is the kid that has more money than anyone I’ve ever heard of. Also, they’re boys, so they don’t usually exchange gifts, but because there’s a party, do we get something anyways?

 

  • The lack of cable in our sweet little apartment meant that I couldn’t watch the VMAs. I was rather sad about this, especially after the fun I had watching and tweeting about the Emmy’s. MTV should have it on their website soon so I can catch up and understand what happened with the Kanye/Taylor drama and to see the amazing opener I heard about with Eminem. (I actually really do like him. Why? No clue. But I do.)

 

  • I’ve also found this song I like. Now, before I let you guys watch it, I will give a warning that since the name of it “F**K You” there are curse words fairly frequently. you’re all adults, but thought I’d give a warning before you jump into thinking it’s a fun Miley Cyrus song.

I found this song when a girl from home did a cover of it. I actually like her version better, but this video is more entertaining.

 

  • Also a HUGE congratulations to Melissa over at Duoly Noted. They have found a house after all their renting drama. I know she was very worried about this situation, so I thought a congratulations was in order. And wine. I’m celebrating for her with my own glass right now!

 

Everyone have a wonderful week. Enjoy your football, if you’re into that sort of thing.

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Filed under Life After College, Wannabe former couch potato

Guest Post- Get Started

A few weeks ago, you may remember this little post of mine. I NEED to be working out and eating healthier, and I figure there are others trying to do the same, so why not help each other?

I’m hoping to get some more posts or figure out ways to share other helpful exercise tips and healthy recipes, so if you have some, feel free to e-mail me.

Well, here is the first installment of that. D.A.R from Midwest Paradise said she would help. She is an avid runner and she said she would be willing to do a couple posts of how she started, some tips she has and how she overcame the obstacles to keep running. I think this is great for starters like myself to find a reason to get running. Who couldn’t use a little more “me” time?

Enjoy and visit her blog. It’s wonderful!

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On July 27, 2008, I made a decision that changed my life. I got off of the couch and went for a run.

Despite my lethargic tendencies in the more recent years, I have always been athletic. I played several sports until middle school when I decided to devote myself full time to swimming. I earned a full ride scholarship to college and got to see the country {and England!} via airports, Embassy Suites and swimming pools. With my body fat hovering somewhere under 10%, I ate like a frat boy and lost weight accidentally.
Then on December 14, 2004, I was given a death sentence. At least, a swimming career death sentence. At the time, they felt like the same thing. I was shivering on the exam table in the orthopedic surgeon’s office when I heard “no more, you are done”. With my fifth knee surgery scheduled, I had to hang up my goggles.For nearly four years, I did nothing. I was bitter, I was angry and I sure as hell was not going to work out.
But in July of 2008, I needed to. I attribute much of it to needing an outlet for my stress and an excuse to get out of my house as my husband’s deployment to Iraq in September 2008 was looming all too close. But I think a tiny part of my sudden urge to lace up my {ill fitting and not at all designed for running} shoes and hit the pavement was to reclaim my life. I missed “athletic”, “in shape” and “healthy” being part of my identity. Thankfully, mother nature kept me slender, but I knew that my metabolism wouldn’t be around forever.
So, run I did. At least, to the end of the street. Approximately four driveways down. And then I was out of breath, sweaty, dizzy and wanted to die. I sat down on the curb while my husband debated whether or not to call an ambulance. After a few minutes, I got up and “jogged” another 100 or so yards. And then stopped to stretch. This repeated for twenty minutes, at which time, I am fairly confident I completed exactly 1 mile.
Over the next two months, this little exercise in humiliation, sweat and nausea repeated itself until I could run five miles. It was not fast, and it was not pretty, but I was a RUNNER!
Despite a few set backs and a running hiatus here and there, I have been running for two years now. I have finished two 5ks, two 10ks, a 10 mile trail race and two half-marathons. I have horrible runs. I have boring runs. I have runs that I can barely pry myself out of my bed to complete. But I have also had some magical runs. Runs that make me feel like I am a little kid again, full of energy and life. Now I have my husband hooked on racing and we are looking forward to a long life together…running, racing, maybe even sitting on the curb down the street. And it feels great.
It isn’t always a fun road, but it is always worth it. Some of the best things I have learned in the last two years as I have gone from couch potato to half-marathoner/running addict:
1. Get rid of the guilt. Yes, you will have crappy runs. Yes, you will be slower than other people. Yes, you may have to take walk breaks {or sit on the curb!}. But you are out there moving. Don’t feel guilty for what you aren’t doing, be excited about what you are doing!
2. Celebrate the little accomplishments. Did you just run 10 minutes straight for the first time? Conquer a crazy hill near your house? Finish your first race? Celebrate!

3. Bribe Yourself. For me, knowing that there is a reward {other than the obvious like the number on the scale or on your timex at the end of a run} helps me stay motivated. Even now, two years later! Since I have trouble “sticking with” things, I know that I will have a closet full of cute running gear if I just buy it all at once. So, I let myself splurge a little every now and then after hitting a goal.

4. Make it Fun. Find the fun in it! Remember when you were little and could play for hours and it only felt like a few minutes? Well, a similar principle applies here: if you are having fun, it won’t be quite so agonizing. So, whether you enjoy people watching at the gym, watching your favorite shows while on the treadmill or joining a class, find something you enjoy!

5. Find a Friend. Whether it is a pal across the country that you email about your latest workouts, your husband who drags you out of bed in the morning, a buddy to meet at the gym or the park, find someone to conquer your goals with. Not only will it make it more fun, but it will help you be accountable on those days when your bed or the couch sound like much better choices.

d.a.r.

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Filed under Guest Posts, Wannabe former couch potato